Re: How to Stop Charges from Going to Court Based on Incorrect Reporting
Whose story rings true is what gets explored at the TRIAL, by putting the victim, witnesses, and potentially the accused, on the stand under oath.
Once you took the step of reporting that a crime was committed, there's NOTHING you can do for HIM except hire him the best attorney in town.
Re: How to Stop Charges from Going to Court Based on Incorrect Reporting
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crist0968
I do have a better understanding now, unfortunately. However, is there any advice you can give me about how to go about telling him? It is my understanding that a lot of women try to get these cases dropped because they feel guilt, and I certainly do not want to give him that impression.
But you are giving that impression right now to everyone on the internet. The more you say… "but he (they) told me it was all my fault", the more you sound like a battered woman. Paradox, yes. But pleading with the DA isn’t going to help you. A good criminal defense attorney can absolutely help your boyfriend.
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crist0968
I also do not want to get myself thrown in jail for giving a false report, however I do feel that my memory and report from that night was wrong due to my heavy intoxication.
You can’t stop the process in play. And nowhere here have you indicated you lied. What you have indicated repeatedly is that you are taking the word of your boyfriend and his witness over your memory as being truthful. Their version of events might be a more accurate representation of what happened. Or the witness and your boyfriend could be working together to convince you that you are to blame. I have no idea. But you indicated you told the police what happened according to your memory, so there is no false report and really you don’t have anything to recant.
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crist0968
How might be the best way to go about admitting that I was in the wrong and that I believe my boyfriend was acting in self defense, and did not intend to harm me
Actually, you don’t know you were in the wrong. A good criminal defense attorney may be able to paint you as an aggressive combatant attacking your boyfriend who injured you in self defense, but you will not be able to do this yourself.
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crist0968
I do not want to have his future destroyed as the result
of a drunken misunderstanding? Please, if there is any advice you can give me, it would be greatly appreciated.
How is this going to destroy his future?
Cause him embarrassment? Absolutely.
Cause him to rethink whether you and he should have a future together? Possibly. Maybe even hopefully, since you both ended up battered after this fight.
But, ruin his future? No.
Really. It won’t ruin his future even if he is convicted.
Re: How to Stop Charges from Going to Court Based on Incorrect Reporting
Ok, he is banned from having contact with me, placed on him by the judge. He has told mutual friends that he loves me, and wants to be with me, and I desperately want my boyfriend back, and a life with him again.
What do I say to the District Attorney? That I do not wish to pursue, that I made a mistake? Would it be better to let him know that I want to reconcile with my boyfriend, or that I have moved on with my life? I am meeting with him, and want to be able to convince him that this case is not worth going to court and costing thousands of taxpayers' dollars. It was an intoxicated misunderstanding...
Re: How to Stop Charges from Going to Court Based on Incorrect Reporting
Many victims of domestic violence recanted their statement then charges get dropped and the husband or bf beats on the girl again. The state is very firm on these things and becomes up to them once you call the police. I am not saying that your lying only that many victims are so it's an uphill battle.
Help him pay for a good lawyer, tell them you were drunk and the friends can back him up. Many times the cops and da are bias and over cautious b.c 10-15 years ago domestic violence wasn't taken very seriously. The women word is taken over the men in a lot of cases,some where the burden of proof isn't that great. With any charges oncee it's file it's hard to convince the da to drop them but with domestic violence it's very hard.
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drthyrd
But you are giving that impression right now to everyone on the internet. The more you say… "but he (they) told me it was all my fault", the more you sound like a battered woman. Paradox, yes. But pleading with the DA isn’t going to help you. A good criminal defense attorney can absolutely help your boyfriend.
You can’t stop the process in play. And nowhere here have you indicated you lied. What you have indicated repeatedly is that you are taking the word of your boyfriend and his witness over your memory as being truthful. Their version of events might be a more accurate representation of what happened. Or the witness and your boyfriend could be working together to convince you that you are to blame. I have no idea. But you indicated you told the police what happened according to your memory, so there is no false report and really you don’t have anything to recant.
Actually, you don’t know you were in the wrong. A good criminal defense attorney may be able to paint you as an aggressive combatant attacking your boyfriend who injured you in self defense, but you will not be able to do this yourself.
How is this going to destroy his future?
Cause him embarrassment? Absolutely.
Cause him to rethink whether you and he should have a future together? Possibly. Maybe even hopefully, since you both ended up battered after this fight.
But, ruin his future? No.
Really. It won’t ruin his future even if he is convicted.
Having a domestic violence conviction is a very nasty thing to have on record he is gonna like someone who beats on girls and you can't own a gun, if he was instrested in joining the military he is probably out of luck. It can affect him getting a job and getting an apartment. Just the arrest can cause him grief b.c that might come up in a backround check even with a dismal someone might assume of he just got away with it.
Maybe her memory is right but once you get that drunk you forget certain things and can definitely be fussy about the details. She could of forgot that she was that aggressive so maybe the bf was forced to hold her down for her own protection . The girls is acting wild and falls on the floor then has some bruises.It's quite pausabile that she was in wrong not the bf but the bf and the other people could just be telling you lies. If their someone in the group who you really trust and if they are more your friend then him I would try to ask someone like that. If the bf just lying it could be warning sign that he is a volient person.