Husband Called 911 and Got Himself Arrested

So husband and I argued the other night, ended up fighting over credit cards and one of them hit me in the lip. Smart guy as my husband is calls 911 cause I'm out of control. I told him that he would be arrested and not to call my lip was bleeding. So he was charged and I saw the police report and not everything I said is in there. He has court next week and some advocacy group will be there, as will I. I don't want them there I'm not a victim, how do I get them to not be there. They are very aware I don't want them there.
His lawyer wants me at the pretrial, I think to get it dismissed - can't prove domestic assault he called 911 not me, my lip healed by next day etc. What do I do? Any thoughts?

any thoughts

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Quoting jackson99

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So husband and I argued the other night, ended up fighting over credit cards and one of them hit me in the lip. Smart guy as my husband is calls 911 cause I'm out of control. I told him that he would be arrested and not to call my lip was bleeding. So he was charged and I saw the police report and not everything I said is in there. He has court next week and some advocacy group will be there, as will I. I don't want them there I'm not a victim, how do I get them to not be there. They are very aware I don't want them there.
His lawyer wants me at the pretrial, I think to get it dismissed - can't prove domestic assault he called 911 not me, my lip healed by next day etc. What do I do? Any thoughts?

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The courtroom is for the Public. The advocacy group is part of the Public. The advocacy group is not necessarily there for you; they are there on behalf of all victims of crime, sometimes they are victims who are dead and cannot speak for themselves. You can't lock them out.

Also, it's not a matter of whether your lip healed. It's a matter that a woman was struck "in anger." That's what the "group" is for, and that's what they are fighting and advocating.

I don't think your husband's case will be thrown out. At the very least, he will be fined and placed on probation.

if I'm the considered "victim" and I'm going to be there they should not be. I didn't lose my brain and I can speak for myself. Seems alot of waste of time and money, I am getting my attorney to get them out they don't need to be there.

sorry meant to put this in as the prosecutor told me it will be hard to proceded since he called 911, domestic is based on fear and control, that's not here.

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Quoting jackson99

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if I'm the considered "victim" and I'm going to be there they should not be. I didn't lose my brain and I can speak for myself. Seems alot of waste of time and money, I am getting my attorney to get them out they don't need to be there.

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Obviously, you didn't read, or perhaps, understand what I wrote. The advocacy group IS NOT there for YOU, necessarily. They are there on behalf of all people, men and women, who are victims of crime.

They will be there to keep tabs on the judge, who is elected to the Bench, and who will be acutely aware of their presence because he is elected.

Like I said, you will have no say in whether they stay or go. They, like anyone else, have an absolute right to be there to see our Justice System at work.

I certainly disagree and that's why I'm getting an attorney, they can be there but they have no business speaking. They haven't spoken to me or done testing etc, they have no place there and I will tell the judge that.

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Quoting jackson99

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I certainly disagree and that's why I'm getting an attorney, they can be there but they have no business speaking. They haven't spoken to me or done testing etc, they have no place there and I will tell the judge that.

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Have a nice, relaxing evening. You're in for a rude awakening . . .

how am I in for a rude awakening? The prosecutor has said she can't go for domestic. Rude awakening with an advocacy group perhaps I guess the womens movemnt hit a road block with them, I don't need anyone advocating for me.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

On the advocacy group? They can come to court - as you were told, courts are open to the public. I doubt that the judge will let them speak.

It seems that it's going to be plead down ( I don't know if that's the right term) to disorderly conduct. Anyone know the penalties for that? Thanks again!

I was arrested on april 1 for domestic violence. I am the most laid back person, but my boyfriend was hitting me and in self-defense, I clawed his arm, mainly to block his punches, nevertheless, the officers saw the blood on hs arm from my nails trying to block, and I WAS ARRESTED!! I've never been in jail, yet had to spend 12 hrs for defending myself. How much timne did he get? Not a damn minute. I wish you the best of luck. Although I was and will always know my innocence to this altercation, there are circumstances and they must be reported so that prople will be exonerated and that hopefully the sorry scumbags that cause the pain will receive the harshest sentences possible. I have been a very abused 42 yr old mother of 2 and after 19 years, finally realized that I am a very special person, just as you are. Don't let anyone undermine you because men like to make yuu feel like , and I know you are very special, because God don't make dirt! Take care and please stand up for uour self and don;t let anyone intiminidate you!!:)

kmont,
thanks for your post and I'm sorry for what you have endured. I do believe our situations are different we have been married 14 years and never has this occured, again we were fighting over credit cards and one of them hit me in the lip. He called 911 not me I'm not fearful of him, it was 2 adults acting like irresponsible children and not a crime. The police overreacted big time but we'll see what gets done.

Your defensivness is typical of abused women, you realize that credit cards are meant to be in wallets and purses not flying through the air, it could have hit you in the eye instead. If you were out of controll, then you should seek anger management, perhaps the judge will order you both to separate anger management classes!

You have read how many of my posts and can diagnose me? You should open a website! I asked a question and got an answer, it seems odd to me on a legal info website that you don't understand that. The last person told me I was in for a rude awakening, from what exactly. I haven't done anything. Also the judge can't order me to do anything since I wasn't arrested nor should I have been. Just a side note if you did honestly think I was an abused woman I would hope you'd give them more advice then just judging - think about it. Or does it just upset set you that it's getting pleaded down? Hmmmm

So husband's lawyer wants me at pre-trial. I'm not sure why but it's getting nervous for me. At pretrial can they make me get on the stand?

A pretrial is normally just a scheduling proceeding, where no testimony is taken. If your county prosecutor's office has a victim's rights department, they may be able to inform you as to what will happen at any given proceeding.

The advocacy group as much a right to be in the courtroom as anyone else. Unless they are providing some manner of testimony, they will be there to observe. You will not be able to get them excluded from the courtroom without good cause, and simply not believing you are a victim would not be sufficient to get them excluded.

Besides, why should you care if they are there? Just politely thank them for their concern and let them know that it is all a misunderstanding and you do not need their assistance. Keep in mind that they hear this excuse daily, and they likely won't buy it ... the court will also be skeptical for much the same reason.

I'm also confused as to how a credit card flies through the air and cuts your lip!? Was it grasped in his fist at the time??

- Carl

I'm glad you brought up the advocacy group issue. I guess I didn't make it clear they have their own agenda I didn't want them to talk to me. So guess what happens in court today - I have a lady come up to me saying YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME NOW!!! I say I'm sorry you are whom? She says no now! OK so I go and was told I called 911, um no mam I didn't (the tape has been lost?) I told her the police told me I had to write down the voluntary statement or something would happen. I'm very unhappy with the whole system as of right now. The whole thing will go away but only because the police "lost" stuff. My problem is the ramifications on my family involved and the lying going on, I must be very naive. And to the poster who will say my rude awakening is coming - they have lost the 911 tape, the photos and they gave my husband's lawyer a different arrest report they gave me. The second one says I called 911, I did not. I do have the first one that says 911 was called. I do not like the lying to get the results they want since I'm the supposed "victim".

It sounds like he got lucky this time. Next time (and there almost always is a next time), you may not be so lucky as to only get a split lip.

Good luck.

- Carl

I've been looking and can't find any statistics on no violence in a marriage for 14 years and then suddenly hitting happens. Do you have any links for me to look at. Almost always a next time, why? I'm not being flippant I just want to know. It's never happened before suddenly my 37 year old husband is abusive? Did I miss something? And yes it was very serious I agree I just have been treated like a child (with no brain and no sense) through this process and I'm quite tired of it. The advocate yesterday told me I would get a supeona (sp) and I responded well they would have to serve me and she said it was a crime to avoid it. I don't like being talked to like that. I must also say, I've never been involved in the legal process before, but geez it's certainly seems like "if yougot money we can make it go away place" but perhaps I'm wrong. Thanks for your polite reply by the way. Just to let you know (yes I know this can go over all boundaries race money etc) we are both college graduates, employed, never had problems with the law - it's a strange odd thing that happened.

There are a number of ways to be served a subpoena and they don't all involve someone handing you apiece of paper. if you are lawfully served, you must appear or risk arrest.

As for the statistics, there are stats all over the internet from a wide variety of sources. There a number of good books out there on the subject as well. Obviously I don't know the history between you two, but, statistically speaking DV does not occur in a bubble and tends to recur. if it begins suddenly it could be due to outside stresses, alcohol, drugs, guilt, ad nauseum.

I am still curious as to how a credit card went flying with sufficient force to cut your lip. I doubt the police or the court will buy that one, too. If that is the statement you intend to give, don't count on anyone buying it.

For your sake (and the sake of any children) I hope that thi swas an isolated incident and that your relationship is not fractious. History and experience, however, has left me cynical about this.

- Carl

oh don't burn me for this but the cut wasn't that bad and suddenly they (police) have lost the photos of it, it was a cut i took my own pictures(*I'm not stupid) I do have a question though perhaps should be in a different forum why does everyone talk to me like I don't have a brain? The first judge called it mutual argument I do not know what that means.

Carl,
If i avoid sup issue can i be arrested that's what the lady said.