Fighting Temporary No Contact Order

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington

I posted an earlier thread but things have now changed. Here is a link to my old thread http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=152894

On January 12, 2013 I was served with a temporary no contact order. This order states I cannot contact the ex or the two youngest minor children. She filed this order claiming that I assaulted her on the same night that her boyfriend was arrested and charged with domestic violence against me. She is claiming that the boyfriend was only protecting her from me. This filing was five days after the incident and after I refused to allow the change of primary physical custody of the two youngest from me to her. This entire time she has left our oldest child with me. In the no contact order she does not mention my oldest child at all except on the front page where she wrote XXX resides with respondent. She checked the box that says "shall apply only to the minor children listed in box 5" and hand wrote the two youngest names in it omitting the oldest.

I have to leave the state to report for my job in five days and I am besides myself. I have no idea what to do and feel really stupid at the moment. Every single penny I have is tied up in this move. I have no idea what to do. I tried to get an ex parte order but it was refused on the grounds of no service to the respondent. I cannot find her and now she is legally able to hide two of the children that I have primary physical custody of. I have tried every low-income legal source I can find and no one has any openings. At this point I just want to be able to take the oldest child with me to the new state and I will fight the other stuff when I get my money in about two weeks when I can afford to pay the deposit for a lawyer.

In order of importance:
Be able to leave with the oldest child temp until further court order
Fight the temp. restraining order (hearing scheduled for January 24)
Win at the contempt hearing (hearing scheduled for January 29)

Dang I'm sorry Dad, I hadn't seen your update!

Okay at this point, your choices are a bit limited. You need to get the NCO and find out ASAP if you're actually prohibited from relocating with the child/ren. That's very, very commonly added in WA.

That is what is confusing. The front paper that has the court seal says I cannot remove the children from the state and I have to vacate the home. The part that she filled out says only the two youngest cannot be removed and that I do not have to vacate the home. To err on the side of caution I am in a hotel with the oldest child until I can get to court on Monday.

*ETA*
The impression I got from the ex parte court was if I had been able to serve her she would have signed the order. She was very quick to sign the order to show cause re: contempt. I feel like I'm missing a step here about where I am filing or how to file. I have scoured the internet and the webpage of the applicable superior court with no luck!

Okay, that's what I suspected.

Stay put in the hotel. I'd also be erring on the side of caution. It makes NO sense whatsoever that she's apparently so terrified of you - and yet she's fine leaving the eldest child with you. No sense at all.

Not only that she called her boyfriend's friends to come to the house that night to collect his children but stayed at the house (she also had his car) with me, my wife, and all of the minor children. She also came back the next day and packed some bags with one of my youngest without a police escort. In the temp order she stated "youngest barricaded the door because he was afraid respondent would come up and hurt him" but this same child ran up to me when she came to the house and gave me a hug and said he loves me.

This was completely retaliatory because I refuse to give her primary physical custody. In the long run do I think her behaviors are going to come back to bite her, yes. If I wasn't on such a short time crunch this would not be such an issue.

*ETA*
I was told that there is a way to request an immediate hearing on the temp order but I have no idea how to do, what to file, where to file or anything.

The problem is that this isn't a true emergency. You have a hearing in a couple of weeks, and I just can't see the court pushing it through any faster.

There's a family law facilitator in (afaik) every courthouse in the State - walk-ins cost $20 or thereabouts, and appointments are free. Have you tried there?

I did try there they helped me get the contempt paperwork filed. They have no openings before the next court hearings and they do not accept walk-ins. I'm going to lose my job if I do not report on the 21st and I will be charged with abandonment if I leave my daughter behind. I have no way of contacting her mother and no one to leave her with in this state.

I don't mean to be rude. I'm just so frustrated right now and worried about my children. I'm trying to do the right thing and it just seems like the law is on the ex's side who is breaking it!

Sigh...I don't know what to tell you, Dad.

I can't in good conscience tell you that you'd be safe leaving with her for two weeks until the hearing - because it just wouldn't be true.

Let's brainstorm a little more about it.

Thanks for brainstorming.

There has to be something that I am missing, a missed step, a forgotten loophole, something!

On Monday I am going to go to the ex parte and show the judge the restraining order against the boyfriend for his assault on me, plus the temporary restraining order she has against me and see if the judge will sign off on letting me take the oldest. At this point I have nothing to lose.

I just thought of something. On the restraining order she put our divorce case number but wrote in assault in the fourth degree (gross misdemeanor) but I have not even been questioned about assaulting her let alone arrested or charged for that. Isn't that filing a false report? Why would a court file that paper work with one child missing from the request of the petitioner and no police report about a supposed assault especially when the mother does not have primary physical custody and there is a court date for her to appear for contempt?

Like I said earlier the impression that I got from the judge was that if I had been able to serve her she would have signed the order to allow me to leave with all of the children. Now due to the no contact order I doubt she would sign an ex parte for relocation for all of the children. I wonder if I could get it approved for the oldest only since the ex was very clear in the paper work she doesn't care what the oldest does or where she goes?

- - - Updated - - -

Can I serve her by email? She has two of them one for school and one for personal use. I was reading through a "guide" on ex parte orders and it says "Notify the other party or their attorney if you’re giving them notice of the ex parte order. Tell the other party or the attorney the date/time you’re going to get your order signed. It’s best to do this in writing so that you have proof, which could be by fax or email. If you can’t do it in writing, call. Write on the last page of the Motion form when you gave this notice. If you gave written notice, attach a copy of your email or fax or letter to the Motion." At the end of the actually paperwork you sign and give the judge it says "The following efforts have been made to give the other party or other party’s lawyer notice. If no efforts have been made, the following reasons exist why notice should not be required:" I guess I'm not understanding why the judge refused to sign the temp. relocation when I went the first time which was before the ex filed the temp no contact order?

- - - Updated - - -

Updated:
Late last night my wife was served with court paperwork for me. In that paperwork the ex filed an ex parte order ordering me to not remove the children (this time included the oldest), an objection to relocation of children due to non-service. Just to clarify there has not been a date set for the court to hear my motion for relocation due to my inability to serve her. A new proposed parenting plan that gives me no visitation and no contact at all with the children. She also filed an order to change custody asking for sole legal and physical custody of the minor children. Again in this petition although the oldest is mentioned only the two youngest are handwritten in and she cites the TPO in every single paragraph. I have been able to beg and borrow $2500 but so far cannot find an attorney to take on this case for that amount.

It baffles me how she can continue to get these ex parte orders while I cannot even get the ex parte judge to listen to my full explanation before telling me no.

- - - Updated - - -

I was able to get a consult with an attorney who advised me that the TPO does NOT include the children, only the ex. The TOP addresses the children only in that I cannot remove them from the state. We are now on day 9 (7 of which they are court ordered to be in my care and custody) of me having no contact with the two youngest children. The ex finally sent a text message to the oldest saying "I'm thinking of you and love you. I"m trying to work this out." When my oldest came to me about what I thought about the text I became a mute and said nothing, nor did my wife.

The psychology damage being done to the oldest by the ex is concerning for me and my wife but there is nothing that I can do. I am also very concerned about the emotional damage being done to the two youngest by what the ex is telling them. My landlord called me to let me know that the ex called him stating she was coming to the house on Saturday to remove her belongings and preceded to tell him that I "violently" attacked her and she is in fear of her life. The landlord said she made it sound like I tried to tip her head off her shoulders. The company that provides the enzyme that my daughter needs for treatment refuses to call me back as does her pediatrician and other medical providers.

I was able to get a lawyer through my church. I will update as things progress for those father's who follow behind me and need help.