New Husband Wants to Adopt My Son

My question involves adoption law for the State of: California

Hi i have two questions that need to be answered or just advice on what i should do.

I recently got married to my husband who i've been dating for 3 yrs last month. I have a 5 yr old son who loves my husband to death. When i found out i was pregnant 5 yrs ago the father got locked up and had to serve 5 yrs in prison. He hasn't been in his life ever since, his name is not even on the birth certificate. When my son was 3 we met my husband, and he has been his role model ever since, showing him what a boy needs to know. now that my son is 5 his dad is out of prison but still not in the picture. I tried giving him a chance but he blew it but not obeying my rules and bringing him home when i told him to. He tried to get my son to like him more than me and let him do whatever he wants. He was pretty much not teaching him the right stuff. So i stopped him from seeing his son. All this went on from sept - oct last year and when i stopped it he never came around ever since.
Now my question: My husband wants to adopt my son and make him as his own, he loves him so much. What is the process to start?

Also, my husband is in the Navy and is stationed in Okinawa, Japan and wants us to move over there with him. For the passport i need his fathers permission, do i need it even if hes not on the birth cert.? and never around?

Please and Thank You for any help and advice.

I don't have the knowledge nor experience to respond to your first question; however, I am familiar with obtaining passports for minor child(ren). You do NOT need the father's permission nor a notarized Statement of Consent if father is not on child's birth certificate.

I have joint legal and primary physical custody of my daughter in California. My daughter's father is not on her birth certificate. I obtained a passport for my daughter four years ago and renewed two months ago without requiring her father's presence nor notarized Statement of Consent. Hope that helps.

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Quoting etoy

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I don't have the knowledge nor experience to respond to your first question; however, I am familiar with obtaining passports for minor child(ren). You do NOT need the father's permission nor a notarized Statement of Consent if father is not on child's birth certificate.

I have joint legal and primary physical custody of my daughter in California. My daughter's father is not on her birth certificate. I obtained a passport for my daughter four years ago and renewed two months ago without requiring her father's presence nor notarized Statement of Consent. Hope that helps.

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That's true. But that does NOT mean that Mom can relocate the child out of the country without permission.

Not. At. All.

Mom, was there ever a visitation order?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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That's true. But that does NOT mean that Mom can relocate the child out of the country without permission.

Not. At. All.

Mom, was there ever a visitation order?

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Actually it does if biodad's paternity was never established and there are no court proceedings pending. Based on the initial post its pretty clear that paternity was never established, so the only questions now would be if dad has attempted legally to establish anything now.

This is California.

Legal establishment of paternity is not necessarily required, if Mom AND Dad have held the child out to be his.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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This is California.

Legal establishment of paternity is not necessarily required, if Mom AND Dad have held the child out to be his.

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Huh?

If there is no dad on the BC then mom does not need a dad's signature to get a passport for the child. If there is no dad on the BC then mom does not need to get any permission from a dad to travel outside of the country with the child. Who do you think is going to stop mom from getting a passport and getting on a plane if there is no court case pending?

And where do you think anyone has held out the child to be dad's in this scenario?

She's wanting to RELOCATE.

Not just visit. This isn't a vacation.

L, I'd usually agree with you if we were talking about EVERY OTHER STATE than California. But it IS California. And she's held the child to be bio Dad's by allowing him visitation (albeit on her terms). Did you miss that bit?

I know you don't agree with a lot of CA's odd family law things. I don't either - but I'm going by what actually does and can happen in CA, versus what applies in virtually every other state.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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She's wanting to RELOCATE.

Not just visit. This isn't a vacation.

L, I'd usually agree with you if we were talking about EVERY OTHER STATE than California. But it IS California. And she's held the child to be bio Dad's by allowing him visitation (albeit on her terms). Did you miss that bit?

I know you don't agree with a lot of CA's odd family law things. I don't either - but I'm going by what actually does and can happen in CA, versus what applies in virtually every other state.

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I understand...but the passport agency is federal and if there is no dad on the passport they are going to give her one for the child. If there is no dad on the passport or BC no one is going to stop her from getting on a plane either.

The question is, can she be forced to return to the states with the child if dad brings something to court? That will depend on whether or not she can be served. Can she be stopped ahead of time if dad rushes to court? Absolutely. However, until or unless that happens, there is nobody that is going to stop her getting the passport and nobody that is going to stop her from getting on the plane.

I think this Mom needs an attorney - desperately.

Yeap, I'm agreeing with the passport requirements. But getting on a plane is only half the battle.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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She's wanting to RELOCATE.
But it IS California. And she's held the child to be bio Dad's by allowing him visitation (albeit on her terms).
but I'm going by what actually does and can happen in CA, versus what applies in virtually every other state.

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Dog, I am not discounting what you stated here. But I do question where your source of information or precedent comes from that suggests an unmarried father who has failed to seek or establish paternity has acquired legal rights in CA by virtue of the fact the mother "held the child to be the father's" and allowed the father some visitation. And if this is based upon what "actually does happen" there should be precedent for this. I tried a cursory search for this info but was unable to find it.

But as you and others suggested, mom needs to see an attorney. I would add try to get a free consult with three or four attorneys in this type of case, to get a feel for the gist of what they are all saying. Because in this type of case some attorneys will recommend filing first for custody in CA, and others may recommend flying with the wind. And if there are conflicting legal opinions, mom will have to make the call on which way to go.

In regards to CA quirkiness, CA Family Code does state a custodial parent has "a presumptive right to relocate their child", whether that be to Arizona or Okinawa or BFE. And it is up to the other parent to rebut that presumption. And dad would need to start the ball rolling in court to establish paternity, and then file suit challenging the relocation before the child is no longer a resident of CA.

One thing that is almost certain is that adoption should NOT be raised at this point, which will only stir up the waters. This will require acknowleging in court who the child's father is, and if father objects to adoption it may turn into a long and expensive process, one which step-father can easily lose. It will also guarantee that CA will retain jurisdiction over the child. Given the divorce rate, the smart thing for step dad to do is leave things as they are for now. Because if he adopts and for whatever reason gets divorced, he will be on the hook for child support. But any good attorney should caution step dad on the pros and cons of adopting early on versus waiting a few more years to see how the marriage works out.

Really!?!?! that would be great if i didnt need him. Thank you

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No visitation order, no anything. We never went to court for our son, he didn't want to deal with any of that and just left us alone.

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Ok, the adoption we are not worried about now

the main situation i was worried about was the passport issue, i shall speak to some attorneys and see what they have to say.

Thank you for everyone's help and opinions.