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What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out

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  • 11-26-2012, 02:51 PM
    ethanncx
    What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Florida.

    Hi, I'm 14, I live in Florida. When I was a baby my mother and father divorced, I lived with my mom until I was about 5. Her ex (current boyfriend at the time) was abusing me (cigarette burns on skin, ruining new items my mom bought me, locking me in my room with a door lock, and making me do all the physical labor in the house like cleaning the dishes and etc.) and my father and my step-mom got custody of me, so I started living there.

    Later on, my mom got overdue in her child support, and was going to go to jail, unless she signed her rights over to my dad and my step-mom (now my "mom"). I was fine for it while I was young, until I turned about 12. My dad constantly beat me for "back-talking" or poured hot sauce/soap in my mouth. I got out of that around 13, but my dad still mentally messes with me. When we were alone at the house, he started yelling at me because I took out the trash and a piece of garbage fell out on the way there, and that morning I moved the scale out of the corner of the bathroom to weigh myself, but forgot to move it back. He kept yelling at me and told me to go to my room. When I got to my room, he 'asked' (more of yelled) if I wanted to live with my mom. I said yes, and he back handed me in my mouth. I have had braces for about a year now, and when he did that, it cut part of my gums open, and I started bleeding in my mouth. When my step-mom got home, he told her that I said I hated him, and he also told the rest of our family that. My step-mom yelled at me while we were eating dinner, and they told me I was going to a foster home. They also found a note of when I was around 12-11, when I wrote insulting things about my half-sister and my step-mom. They told me I needed to see a counselor. They never followed through with all of that, fortunately. A few months ago, I was working on the weekends with my dad mowing lawns. I decided to quit. He mowed, and I had to trim, hedge, weed eat, and blow. After 5-7 lawns, I was only paid $20. And it took up all of my Saturdays, so I had pretty much no social life outside of school. I wanted to go to a friend's house for the weekend, but he said I needed to work with him that weekend, I told him that I wanted to quit. That made him mad, and he told me I wasn't allowed to leave the house until I mowed our lawn outside with a push mower. We have a 1-acre yard, so it was a lot. I started to mow, but I messed up and a little bit of grass got in the garden around the house, and he told me that I was doing it wrong and told me to go inside to my room. I went inside to my room. He came in and took my phone, games, computer, etc. even though I pay for them (except my phone, my grandparents pay for that), he does this a lot by the way. And later he asked me the password for my phone. I refused to give it to him, because I don't enjoy it when my parents invade my privacy. He said I was grounded on longer, and continued to ask for my password. Then he dragged me out of my room, put my hands behind my back, and told me to stand on one leg in the living room. He called my grandparents and asked how he could find out my password, they didn't know how, so he told them to shut off my phone. While he was doing this he made me continue standing on one leg in front of my little half-sisters, and when I messed up/put my leg down, he yelled at me. Eventually, I told him "I'm not doing this, this is a stupid way of punishing me." and sat down. He yelled at me for that and then told me to sit on the couch. He said he was going to "call DCF and have me sent to a group home". He never ended up doing that either. My grandma called and eventually got him to calm down, and he allowed me to go to my friends, after it was around 8 p.m.

    He does stuff like this all the time, and my real mom can't do anything, at least as far as I know. I can't stand living here as I constantly have thoughts of suicide, and yes I've talked to people it doesn't help. I don't fit with this family, I'm literally the complete opposite. They are, well, country rednecks, simply put. I don't want to ever be like that, and I'm not now. I want to know, what options do I have? What can I do? My best friends father said it would be alright if I lived with them. Of course, I don't want to be a burden, so I'd like to know what else is possible for me. Please give me real answers, and I know that waiting until I'm 18 and moving out is one of them, you don't have to state that. I don't get along with my dad or step-mom.

    By the way, when I say step-mom, she really is my mom, it says her name on my birth certificate, she just isn't my biological mom and I don't like to call her mom.

    Thank you for reading,
    Ethan.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section, I wasn't sure which one to put it in.
  • 11-26-2012, 02:55 PM
    free9man
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    Call 911 when you are being abused. If substantiated, you will be removed from the home and placed elsewhere. That is your option.
  • 11-26-2012, 02:58 PM
    ethanncx
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    Placed elsewhere?
  • 11-26-2012, 05:13 PM
    cbg
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    Other relatives, foster care, group home.

    At 14, you do not have the option of moviing out unless you have parental permission and a place to go, or you are removed by the state. While you don't mention emancipation, that is ABSOLUTELY not going to happen. Frankly, your options are limited.
  • 11-26-2012, 06:47 PM
    ethanncx
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    So if I wanted to go live with my biological mother, even though she isn't on my birth certificate, is that possible?
  • 11-26-2012, 06:51 PM
    cbg
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    If you have permission from your father and/or whoever else has legal custody of you, yes.

    If you do not have the permission of whoever has legal custody of you, no.

    It really is that simple. There is NO way you can move out of the house without the permission of whoever has custody of you unless the state removes you. And if the state removes you, THEY will decide where to place you - it will not be your choice.

    No exceptions whatsoever.
  • 11-26-2012, 07:55 PM
    Disagreeable
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    It sounds like you don't know your place. I would be hard on you also. You would be working to help the family and you would not have that phone, if I don't have access to it.
  • 11-26-2012, 08:09 PM
    PNMom
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    Quote:

    Quoting ethanncx
    View Post
    So if I wanted to go live with my biological mother, even though she isn't on my birth certificate, is that possible?

    How did this happen?
  • 11-26-2012, 08:26 PM
    aardvarc
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    The ONLY way your mother wouldn't appear on your birth certificate is if the birth certificate had been amended due to adoption. If that's the case, your biological mother no longer has ANY legal ties to you.
  • 11-27-2012, 06:00 AM
    ethanncx
    Re: What Are My Options As a Teenager Wanting to Move Out
    My step-mom told me that her name is on the birth certificate, not my mom. I'm not sure, I haven't really seen my birth certificate myself. She told me that when my mom signed my rights over to my step-mom, her name got put on there.
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