How Can I Get Out of My House

My question involves child abuse and emancipation in the State of: Tennessee

Hi, I'm 15, and I live with my mother and great grandmother. When I was 3 months old, my mother and father ran off to GA, and left me alone, which resulting in my mother losing custody and my grandmother obtaining it. My mom has been on drugs since before I was born, which was another reason she lost custody. Sporadically throughout my childhood, beginning when I was four, and ending maybe when I was six or seven, during our "visits", where she would take me over night, she would bring me to a hotel and her friend would rape me. When I was thirteen, she moved back in, and hasn't left since. Mind you, my grandmother still has custody of me, though I haven't lived with her in many years. As of now, my mother is still mentally and emotionally abusive. She drinks a lot, and is often incoherent. With regards to my education, and medical decisions, I do not feel as if she makes decisions with my best interest in mind. I'm a straight A student, with a 4.0 GPA, I volunteer at a local elementary school, I have college level intellect, and am very responsible and mature, however living with my mother is causing me to develop emotional, and stress related problems, as well as starting to weigh down my education. My question is, when I turn 16, would there be any way I could get emancipated? Again, I'm very responsible, and would be able to manage a job and school. I just want the best future I can have, so I don't turn out like my mother, but at this rate, my chances are slim. Help? I'd be happy to answer any questions.

You are not self-supporting.

Please scroll down the page and read the other thread by Kaytee.

I don't see it. But if I could become self-supporting, which I easily could, would i qualify?

Emancipation is not and never was intended to be a means for a minor to leave home. Emancipation is intended to be a means to provide legal protections to those minors who, for reasons outside their control, found themselves living alone.

You don't qualify at least for now because you are not able to financially support yourself. Regardless of your past or reasons for seeking emancipation, what MATTERS is this: in the last 6 months, who has paid ALL of your expenses, including the local market rate for rent, utilities, food, health insurance, transportation, cell phone, internet, etc.? If the answer isn't "I've paid all of things myself with money of my own, which I earn at my job, and here are copies of my pay stubbs to show it", the rest won't matter and no reason will be "good enough". With EXTREME circumstances, the court might consider a well thought out budget if there isn't 6 months of history to examine, but even that will require showing that the INCOME portion is ALREADY being met and that you can prove and document your earnings. The court won't care what job you COULD get, it'll only consider a job you've ALREADY been working.

There's also the issue that it's your GRANDMOTHER you'd be seeking emancipation from. If your grandmother has legal custody of you, then this is something you need to be discussing with HER. If she's got custody, she's got the legal ability to remove you today.

My grandmother doesn't want me, and my mom won't let me move out. If I were to just leave, couldn't she call the cops, which would just create more problems?

Yes, she absolutely could. And not only you get your cute little ass dragged right back home where it belongs, but anyone you stayed with could potentially find themselves in jail.

Please tell me how you will easily become self-supporting.


To all who wish to be emancipated.
Here’s what you need to plan financially. Very simple, if you can’t do this, you cannot be emanicipated.

REASON: First of all, you need a good, legitimate reason. "My mom makes me do chores", "My dad is mean"...these are not valid reasons.

LAWS:
- Parental Permission.
- You have to be able to support yourself. No room-mate, no living at a friend/boyfriends place.
- You have to be going to school and maintaining good grades.
- To support yourself, you need to have employment, which your school will have to issue you a Work Permit For. There are laws stating how many hours you can attend school/work. The combination for Michigan, for example, is 48 hours per week.

THE FINANCIALS INVOLVED WITH PROVING YOU CAN SUPPORT YOURSELF:
- Rent for an apartment. Do some research in your area on sites such as
www.forrent.com; www.apartmentguide.com; www.rent.com to see what even a studio apartment will cost.

NOTE: Many communities require a deposit. Expect one of the following:
- First months, last month, plus another month Security Deposit. (so if an apartment is $600 per month, you will need to pay $1800 to move in).
- First months, last month, +$200-300 Security Deposit.

(The next issue is – who will rent to you? You need to have income; you likely do not have a credit rating, so you will need a co-signer, and your deposit may be higher).

- Utilities. Heat/Air, Electric, Water/Trash/Sewer. Sometimes Pest Control. Expect $100+ per month.
- Medical Insurance. To become emancipated, you must be able to prove you have medical insurance.
- Medical Expenses. Got glasses? Need Diabetes Test Strips, etc? A prescription that needs filling each month? You have to be able to pay for that. You may also need Dental Insurance, too.
- Food. You will need to eat. And you will find that cooking for yourself is a lot cheaper than fast food and pizza. $200 a month is a good figure.
- Staples: Deodorant, toothpaste, dental floss, soap, laundry detergent, dish soap, toilet paper, Kleenex, trash bags, lunch bags, foil ….you get the idea….
- Laundry: Coin Laundry can easily run $10 a week or more.
- Transportation: How will you get around? If by car, you need to allow for gas, oil changes, repairwork, maintenance….. If you have a car, you also need to include Car Insurance, License and License Plate fees in your budget.
- Clothing: Always have a clothing allowance! You may find your job requires you to wear certain clothes or footwear. Always have money budgeted/set aside in case.

Next: You need a lot of stuff around your apartment:
First: Be aware that your parents do not have to let you take furniture, clothing, etc., that they have purchased for you over the years. You may have to buy your own.
- Where will you sleep? Bed? Air mattress? Sleeping bag on the floor?
- Clothing.
- You will need these: Something to cook with (atleast a sauce pan, fry pan, cookie sheet (the cookie sheet can be used to heat frozen pizza, etc). A few cups/glasses (cheaper than buying Solo cups all the time). Eating and cooking utensils. Dishes/bowls. A plunger. Trash containers for bathroom and kitchen. Always have a couple of flashlights and batteries. A broom. A vacuum or other device for your apartments carpet. A mop for the floors (if you don’t clean ‘em, you can lose your security deposit).
Note: This is not an all-inclusive list.
And notice it does not list any costs for Cable, Internet, Telephone, Gym, Tanning, movies, entertainment….

I guess you all don't understnad how serious my situation is. I have clothes, furniture, and all that, my health insurance is taken care of, plus im in perfect health, and I have a college fund. All I need to worry about is rent and utilities and such. ANd I'm willing to do whatever it is that I need to do to make a better life for myself.

Quote:

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Quoting Katiee_MyLadyy

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I guess you all don't understnad how serious my situation is. I have clothes, furniture, and all that, my health insurance is taken care of, plus im in perfect health, and I have a college fund. All I need to worry about is rent and utilities and such. ANd I'm willing to do whatever it is that I need to do to make a better life for myself.

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I guess you do not understand that the law is the law. Negotiating will get you no where.

We understand perfectly.

If you're being abused and/or neglected, there are resources available.

So, how is your health insurance taken care of? What kind of job are you going to have at 16 that will provide everything you need?

My grandma says she has my insurance paid until she dies, and I'm the one listed in her will to receive most of what she has when she does die. And I don't know, I'll get multiple jobs if I have to. I don't want to go to some fostercare, or group home, or anything else. As a matter of fact, I've been in one when I was twelve. I don't wish to go back. I need to be able to take my life into my own hands.

It's not that we don't understand, Katie; you're the one that doesn't understand.

You think that if your situation is bad enough, the state will emancipate you so that you can leave home. We're trying to tell you that it doesn't work that way. The state doesn't care how bad your situation is when it comes to emancipation. If it's bad enough that you need to be removed from the home, they'll remove you - but they won't emancipate you. They'll put you in foster care, or a group home.

There is NO reason good enough if you cannot pay every single cent of what it takes to support you. It's not good enough that you currently have health insurance - you have to show how you would pay for that health insurance if your mother, or grandmother or whoever is providing it, said, "Fine, she's on her own, I don't have to pay for it any more" and took you off the policy. (And yes, they absolutely could do that.) It's not enough that you have clothes and furniture now - your mother/grandmother is not obligated to allow you to take it with you. What are you going to do if they don't? Unless you are able to show the judge that you have a solid history of paying ALL of your own support (not just part of it), YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE EMANCIPATED. That answer is not going to change no matter what your reason for wanting emancipation is.