Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA
My children's father is on military duty of unknown duration in NC. As of now, he will be there until JUL2013 (not clear until which part of that month). My basic question is this: He is requesting I pay 1/2 of the transportation costs (i.e., plane tickets) for the children to visit him in NC. Am I required to do this? My 1st inclination is to say "No" because the time & effort it takes for (2) children to travel across the country would be the same as (1) parent doing the same but at 1/2 the cost; so why put them through that? But before I further my point with my ex, I need to know what the basic legal requirements are.
Background: In general, we both live in the same city when my ex isn't ordered to active duty and share "true" 50/50 custody. Through his last tour of duty to NC that ended a couple of months ago, he's never requested the children travel to his duty base to visit; they would just see him whenever he was in town. So this scenario had never before been an issue. Now that my ex has made this an issue, I would like to have a better idea of where I can stand on this so that I don't just agree to something for the sake of avoiding an argument.
Not sure if this makes a difference, but my children are 14 and almost 16. Do they have a say in this?
Thank you in advance.
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
You are required to do whatever the court has ordered you to do. What does the court order say?
Children get a "say" when they turn 18, although the court may entertain their views if a custody issue is in active litigation before that court.
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
There isn't anything in our current order (or past orders) that address transportation costs. This has only come up in the past whenever 1 of the children has gone to WA to visit their paternal grandparents. At those times, the father has paid the flights because the children were visiting his relatives. I have done the same when our daughter (now 18) was younger and went to visit one of my sisters. Transportation costs in relation to visitation has never been an issue. I believe it may have come up during our last round of mediation, but the issue was "reserved" as it wasn't of immediate concern.
As for my question about whether our 14- and almost-16-yr-old sons get a "say" in this, our family has some history/precedence on this issue: My daughter and I had a falling out a little over a year ago. Between her and her father, they decided she no longer had to reside with me, even part-time, and would live with her father's girlfriend/fiancee while he was in NC. For reasons I won't get into here, I agreed to the stipulation that "granted 100%" physical custody to her father. Our sons are fully aware of this issue because they were in the middle of it; I'm sure they will bring it up as reason to "deny" going across the country to visit their father.
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
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Madalynn Pineda-Malone
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA
My children's father is on military duty of unknown duration in NC. As of now, he will be there until JUL2013 (not clear until which part of that month). My basic question is this: He is requesting I pay 1/2 of the transportation costs (i.e., plane tickets) for the children to visit him in NC. Am I required to do this? My 1st inclination is to say "No" because the time & effort it takes for (2) children to travel across the country would be the same as (1) parent doing the same but at 1/2 the cost; so why put them through that? But before I further my point with my ex, I need to know what the basic legal requirements are.
Background: In general, we both live in the same city when my ex isn't ordered to active duty and share "true" 50/50 custody. Through his last tour of duty to NC that ended a couple of months ago, he's never requested the children travel to his duty base to visit; they would just see him whenever he was in town. So this scenario had never before been an issue. Now that my ex has made this an issue, I would like to have a better idea of where I can stand on this so that I don't just agree to something for the sake of avoiding an argument.
Not sure if this makes a difference, but my children are 14 and almost 16. Do they have a say in this?
Thank you in advance.
If you are not court ordered to share transportation, then you are not required to do so.
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
I agree COMPLETELY with the legalities here. But I can't help but note that the military moves are not exactly voluntary. It's not as if Dad upped and left on a whim to go and leave elsewhere.
Isn't there room for compromise here?
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
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Dogmatique
I agree COMPLETELY with the legalities here. But I can't help but note that the military moves are not exactly voluntary. It's not as if Dad upped and left on a whim to go and leave elsewhere.
Isn't there room for compromise here?
That is a valid point, but this is also a situation where the parent in question has 50/50 on paper, but clearly isn't taking responsibility for the children 50% of the time due to his military duties. His last tour of duty in NC ended only a few months ago and now he is on another tour of duty that will last at least until 7/2013. Mom already is incurring extra expense in having the children full time. It would be a bit hard on mom's budget for her to also have to pay half the transportation for two round trip tickets, however often dad wishes them to visit.
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
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llworking
That is a valid point, but this is also a situation where the parent in question has 50/50 on paper, but clearly isn't taking responsibility for the children 50% of the time due to his military duties. His last tour of duty in NC ended only a few months ago and now he is on another tour of duty that will last at least until 7/2013. Mom already is incurring extra expense in having the children full time. It would be a bit hard on mom's budget for her to also have to pay half the transportation for two round trip tickets, however often dad wishes them to visit.
Thank you both, llworking & Dogmatique, for your input. Llworking's reply (above) is exactly my point. As a former Army officer, I completely understand the seeming unfairness of military moves. But this is temporary duty, not a permanent change of duty station. Unfortunately for my sons, their father is very last minute; and I don't want to basically grant him a blank check for making last minute travel arrangements and then canceling them and blaming the Army for his schedule changes.
Re: Non-Custodial Parent on Temporary Military Orders Out of State
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Madalynn Pineda-Malone
Thank you both, llworking & Dogmatique, for your input. Llworking's reply (above) is exactly my point. As a former Army officer, I completely understand the seeming unfairness of military moves. But this is temporary duty, not a permanent change of duty station. Unfortunately for my sons, their father is very last minute; and I don't want to basically grant him a blank check for making last minute travel arrangements and then canceling them and blaming the Army for his schedule changes.
Then you do not need to agree to dad's request that you share transportation costs.