Custody Issues Prior to Mediation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

I need to re-mediate terms of custody/visitation before next summer as our last outlined a custom schedule for summer that was to change this summer. The order doesn't specify what the plan should be NOW however, so I am taking him back soon to set in stone the standard summer visits. I think I shouldn't have any problem with *that* issue, but knowing my ex who really can say?
There are several other issues and I'd like to know if it'll be a waste of time to address or not. I realize I can ASK for anything, but my ex can be predictably unpredictable and tends to be rather passive agressive and play games with the kids to control the power - so I don't imagine he'll do what is right by the kids.
Rather than waste expensive time with mediator, i'd like to know if these are things I would *likely* get if we are unable to come to an agreement and had to go to court. Ie, will mediator tell my ex "hey, she'll get this anyway....so you might as well give in and save yourself the trouble" (which is how she handled it last time with issues)

1 - Not sure if there is much I can/should be doing about this now (please feel free to weigh in) but as of oct my ex had racked up 6 tardies dropping the kids off at school on the days he had them overnight. he has the "expanded" visitation which gives him the option to either have them 6-8pm on thursdays OR return them to school friday mornings weekly, and 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends he has the kids (thurs bumps into this of course) fri-sun with option of returning them monday to school. Last year my older son had 15 tardies when I went to parent teacher meetings in march I believe. I'm not sure if I should press for him to no longer be allowed to elect the "expanded" or what. He will argue that it's MY fault that he lives with his parents 30 miles away and so forth. He stated in court during the temp orders 5yrs ago that he would "soon be moving to city kids live in" and I was tasked with the joint family home since I was the only one who could afford it. So he moved, not me.

2 - He doesn't like to provide me with current insurance cards and information for the kids. (this is the power struggle) because I can beg and plead for the info, and he ignores 99% of my emails. If I call he claims he will send it, or i "never asked him". The last time I asked for list of dentists because of past drama his response was "you haven't gotten a list because you haven't asked" and thats IT! Of this I have a pretty good paper trail. He also refused to pay medical expenses when he changed insurance and informed dentist but not me during treatment. He's also been taking the kids for "checkup" type appointments without telling me at all, or months later. He took my younger son for vaccinations when he was like 3 and never informed me. My older son told me about shots and *luckily* he had taken them to my ped and he had records of the shots given. He also took my older son to dentist in july and found out he had a cavity and only just told me about 2 weeks ago. I am having it addressed today. However if I had taken him to a checkup during that time and insurance refused to pay (since he had just been) my ex of course would have refused to pay 50% of charges, and i'm aghast he knew about a cavity and never told me nor addressed in timely manner. in the current order it says NCP can elect to cover kids, or pay for me to cover the kids. Between the issues getting current cards and information i'd like to have him pay for me to cover the kids now instead. I'd also like to remove his rights to taking the kids to doc for "checkup" type visits, and limit him to only sick visits.
For the record, I call him ANYTIME I take kids to doc or dentist, give him report of what is going on even if he isn't seeing the kids for several days. I always make sure he has meds and emailed details of what i've been doing for colds/etc.

3 - If he does retain kids for expanded visits, would I be able to ask he pay a % of daycare costs? I'm covering 6-7 days he has custody. He's only payed 25% standard child support. I wouldn't ask for this except he is flat out refusing to pay any medical for years. Infact he profitted 400 bucks from my son's dental visit 3yrs ago (long story), and now that I've submitted a long list (because of my annoyance at this behavior and several large bills due to ER and hospitalization of my younger son) he is wanting to play the "well, I plan on taking the kids to ____ so lets wait and tally" type deal. This could go on for YEARS and the orders say he should pay within 10 days of any receipt he receives within 30 days, and within 90 days of any that are past 30 days. I can't keep accounting ledgers for 18 years....thats insane. I also can't afford to drag him to court to argue over half of a ER bill when legal fees are more.

4 - on that same thread, mediator told me that it was standard to allow ex to claim my older son, and I claim the younger. I sign over a form every year for ex...and I actually chase HIM down reminding him it's tax time and doesn't he need me to sign form for him? He lives with his parents and 28yr old sister, and makes considerably less than he could with his degree. around 28K. I make considerably more and can file as head of household, and claim property taxes and mortgage and so forth. He pays 500/mth in support and has the kids less than 50% of the time. It seems to me that financially the deduction would benefit ME far more than him (filing as head and all that) - but i'm also hearing from many other divorced parents that he shouldn't be allowed the deduction and I should argue for it back.


unfortunately I feel like the texas court system has been extremely lax when it comes to my ex's behavior. He took off with my kids much like our buddy anxiousdad and drained joint bank accts and ransaked house. He didn't pay me support for over 9m until I dragged him back into court to force him to finalize divorce even though we'd mediated 9 months earlier....court didn't even give him a slap on the wrists for this behavior. Hes continued to play games with the kids, denying me access to medical info which could and HAS harmed the kids. Telling the kids terrible things about me, or calling me terrible things over the phone infront of the kids (at his house, not mine), physically attacking me infront of the kids (to which cops told me that maybe next time he'd hit me in the face and I really should call BEFORE he hits me. sigh)
I do my best to make things easier for the kids in all this - so I generally feel like i'm being walked all over by ex. I'd like this chance to put my foot down and say NO... you can't just do whatever you feel like and ignore the orders and not expect that you won't be reprimanded or lose some of the "power" he's lording over me (like the ins info). I have no interest in his petty power struggles he's made up in his own mind - I just want to give myself the power to take care of the kids without this drama.

Thanks for any input you can provide on how to handle this or if I stand a chance on getting things changed a bit!
I'm trying to gather info prior to mediation date and this would help considerably.

Did I miss a question in there, somewhere?

From what I read, they aren't so much questions as her wondering what her chances are, but if it helps someone answer this, she is asking basically what her chances would be of getting the things she is asking for with the mediator, I believe.

1. She is asking if she would have any luck asking to drop the "expanded" visitation due to school tardies when dad drops them off.
2. She wants to know what her chances are of having him pay her to cover the kids now instead. She'd also like to remove his rights to taking the kids to doc for "checkup" type visits, and limit him to only sick visits and wants to know what her chances of that are.
3. She wants to see if he can pay a portion of daycare costs.
4. She wants to know what her chances are of claiming both the kids on the taxes instead of them splitting the kids on taxes.

Correct.

And on the same thread, I had emailed him upset that he knew about cavity in july and had never informed me that he took son to dentist nor had he addressed cavity. I took son to dentist ASAP and dentist was 50/50 on him actually needing a root canal at 8! luckily he had enough tooth to do just a regular filling, but it was close.

He responded back saying "you've had the kids on antibiotics for 2 days and didn't tell me until a day before my 1 day visit, so don't pretend you keep me informed" like it was anywhere near as bad as taking son to dentist in july, etc.

Am I totally nuts, or would a court not look at that and say I was completely reasonable on notice about kids being sick and on meds, and I should have been informed of visit and issues with teeth?