Inappropriate Search of a Child
My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Ohio.
I signed up for Big Brothers Big Sisters around April and everything was going fine until the other day. I misplaced my cell phone and thought my "little" might have taken it or hidden it, so I called it and looked everywhere, but it wasn't ringing. I was getting upset, so rather than frisk / touch him excessively, I gave him a towel and sent him to my daughter's room to put it on and take off his clothes while I waited in the hall. I went in once he was in the towel and shook his clothes and the phone wasn't there, so I left the room and asked him to get dressed. Then I decided I needed to end the visit, so my two year old daughter and I took him home. I told him during the visit that I didn't necessarily think he took it, but that I was just upset with the situation and couldn't understand what was going on, etc. and needed to end the visit.
He got home and told his grandmother that he didn't want to see me anymore and I called that night to apologize to both of them and they generally accepted although they weren't thrilled with me, obviously. I emailed Big Brothers and told them about my mistake and what happened in detail and they terminated our match. Then a couple days later I get a knock at the door and I miss the person, but see him getting into his truck across the street with a piece of paper in his hand and wonder if he was trying to serve me a summons regarding this incident.
So, here are my questions:
There was less than 48 hours between the incident and the knock at my door - are summonses prepared and served this quickly or was it maybe someone else knocking?
I'm telling 100% of what happened here and I would never dream of touching or hurting a kid or anything like that - I don't even spank my daughter - does he have a case based on anything I did (having him put on a towel privately and looking through his clothes) or would he have to completely lie to make a case? I will volunteer to give semen and a lie detector and all that to clear my name because it would be a truly outlandish accusation if he is lying.
If he is lying and says I abused or molested him or something, there is absolutely no physical evidence because nothing happened - is this likely to be a civil suit for emotional damage or something like that? It seems absurd that a prosecutor would take a criminal case like this with absolutely no physical evidence, witnesses, etc. Even our monthly progress reports done by Big Brothers were great and we had a good relationship according to our match coordinator. If anything, I took him out with some of my friends (who happen to be upstanding business owners) on our previous outing and everyone hit it off and they saw how we got along well and everything, so there would be decent witnesses for me, actually.
I'm going to make some calls tomorrow, but I'm wondering if anyone has any idea what could be happening. Thanks.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
You had no right to do what you did. His family (possibly the Big Brothers organization) most likely turned you in to the authorities. What on earth were you thinking? Ou essentially strip searched a child entrusted to your care and protection to serve as a role model and you violated the trust placed in you over what - a damn cell phone? Reprehensible conduct.
You should call a criminal defense attorney ASAP. You could (and honestly should) find yourself in a very sticky legal situation.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
What were you thinking?!
You told a minor child to strip off, because you lost your cell phone?!
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
In the moment, I was sure that he had it and I felt like the relationship was over either way and wanted to prove that he had it, but it was obviously an error in judgment.
I apologized profusely to him and I didn't mean any harm by what I did, but I obviously can't take it back. I'm looking for more constructive replies, please.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
But even if you had SEEN him take the phone, that does NOT make it okay to do what you did!
As was suggested, if you're served with anything or charged with anything, get yourself a defense attorney ASAP.
You're welcome.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
Again, I acknowledged what I did was wrong and I have a call into an attorney. I didn't realize this was a forum of bashing people while they are at a low point of realizing they were wrong and needing answers.
What I'm trying to figure out is if it was such a reprehensible thing to do, why wasn't I just arrested or taken in for questioning? What if I had given him a pair of my pants to wear instead of a towel? It wasn't a strip search, it was a search of his clothes. I'm trying to figure out the legal ramifications, what charges might be involved, if there is a case based on what I did, etc. NOT if it was morally reprehensible or not. Aren't there lawyers in this forum that can say whether I broke a law or not and what I might be charged for?
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
Nobody is bashing you.
The extra comments are an added bonus.
Now whether or not you'll be charged with anything depends on factors we don't have.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
Kids that enter that program are vulnerable and need extra support, love and care. You gave the opposite. The child was likely terrified being asked to strip while you were angry, even if he didn't strip in your presence. It isn't too hard to imagine that child abuse charges might be developed out of the scenario, depending how he told his grandmother, Big Brothers and the authorities.
Frankly, get a criminal defense attorney and figure out your best move. You acknowledge your mistake - I hope part of that means accepting some accountability for what you did and never volunteering with kids again.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
Quote:
Quoting
aboutjoshua
Then a couple days later I get a knock at the door and I miss the person, but see him getting into his truck across the street with a piece of paper in his hand and wonder if he was trying to serve me a summons regarding this incident.
What about the person or vehicle makes you think it was a process server? If it were the police, I would have expected them to (a) be uniformed, (b) be partnered up and (c) have a search warrant.
Re: Does He Have a Case Against Me
Why would you send him to your daughter's room ? Why not the bathroom? And like the boy couldn't stash the phone in your daughter's room if he had it? So are you saying that you made him strip RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?
You first said " I signed up for Big Brothers Big Sisters around April and everything was going fine until the other day.". But then later you say "I felt like the relationship was over either way". It was over whether he took your cell phone or not? What concerns me even more is you're being so paranoid and then telling everyone you are willing to give a semen sample? WHAT? I'm sorry, but I'm just digusted and sad that this poor child had to go through that.
UPDATE: Sorry if I sound like I am bashing you. I'm not. Just bashing your behavior, something does not add up here.