Can My Boyfriend Adopt My Daughter

My question involves adoption law for the State of: NH

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and are expecting our first child next year. A little over two years ago I became the emergency guardian of my first cousin's biological daughter, which resulted in her parental rights being terminated. I adopted my daughter about a year ago. My boyfriend would like to adopt her as well but we have no intention of marrying. Her birth certificate reads my name as mother and no father. Is this possible or would we have to be married?

Thanks!

Here's how the courts see it:

If you can't commit to each other legally, you likely shouldn't be committing to adoption any time soon.

If he adopts her and you are not married, she will no longer be your daughter.

You mean if we choose to not be married we're not committed to each other? That's ridiculous. We own a home and are raising children together. That we need to take a religious oath to have the state recognize our commitment to each other is hypocrisy. The time, money, and heartache we went through should be evidence of our commitment, not a piece of paper. Gotta love government, looks like marriage is our next step! Thanks for the info!

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Quoting masonmama

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You mean if we choose to not be married we're not committed to each other? That's ridiculous. We own a home and are raising children together. That we need to take a religious oath to have the state recognize our commitment to each other is hypocrisy. The time, money, and heartache we went through should be evidence of our commitment, not a piece of paper. Gotta love government, looks like marriage is our next step! Thanks for the info!

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It also helps to keep people from illegally using the system.

Who said anything about religion? Religion didn't even enter the equation when I got married. ;)

I'm not going to pore over your state's statutes, but typically in order for an unmarried couple to adopt a child they must first terminate the rights of the existing parent and then convince the court to grant the adoption. A home study will be involved, typically costing $5,000 or more, the legal proceedings are more complicated, even when things go smoothly having your rights terminated is a "nail biter"....

You can get married in a non-religious proceeding before a judge or magistrate, and qualify for the much cheaper and much easier process of stepparent adoption.

Marriage, in family law, is a legal CONTRACT, creating legal obligations and responsibilities between parties, their children, their property, their heirs, their rights regarding medical care and lots of other aspects of life. It's only religious if YOU put that connotation to it.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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I'm not going to pore over your state's statutes, but typically in order for an unmarried couple to adopt a child they must first terminate the rights of the existing parent and then convince the court to grant the adoption. A home study will be involved, typically costing $5,000 or more, the legal proceedings are more complicated, even when things go smoothly having your rights terminated is a "nail biter"....

You can get married in a non-religious proceeding before a judge or magistrate, and qualify for the much cheaper and much easier process of stepparent adoption.

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But we've already had her biological mother's rights terminated, we've gone through the home study, paid all the legal fees etc. Please pardon my "religious" comment, pregnancy brain here. It's just so frustrating that the state won't see us as committed because we're not married. We've purposely chosen to not be married. We have created powers of attorney and health proxies to afford us some of the rights of a married couple. I understand what you are saying, I just don't agree. Guess being married is more important than providing her with a safe home and family who love and care for her. You don't have to be married to have children, but you do to adopt them. Double standard.

Look at it this way, if being married doesn't mean anything to you but your children will reap the benefits, I say just get married for legal purposes but do not change your name, do not change your children's names, just keep everything else the same. Do not do a "religious" ceremony, just get married and don't tell anyone you are married (except the "necessary legal outlets"). Good luck.