Can My Parents Force Me to Quit My Job

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: New york.


I'm using my boyfriends account but, i am the age of 17, my parents are very controlling, and verbally abusive, they have also been physically abusive to when there has been a bruise before. And recently they tried signing me up to go to a college i didn't want to go to for a degree i dont want (i have to sign and give consent for this right?) like can they force me to go to a college i dont want for a degree i dont want? they weren't going to pay the college eather, they wanted me to just get a big loan and i said no.

Well this sparked a huge argument because they dislike my boyfriend, because he just turned 20, they had no issue with him until they found out he turned 20, they knew he was 19 but they thought he had just turned 19, and he used to work at my place of employment, they do not allow me to see him at all, but they won't tell him or me that i'm not allowed to talk to him, they just expect me to dump him but i've been with him for 3 years, it's just i have a weird relationship with my parents, i don't tell them anything so they didn't know for the first 2 years. The closer i edge to 18, the more my parents try to get me to dump him, he tries to respect them, he doesn't come near me at all, he said until i'm 18 or until he can see me without them blowing up on him that he would see me, for now we just text, call, and webcam, my parents know i'm still dating him but they said they would like me to not date him, but i told them that if they forced me i would just wait until im 18 and date him again.

But the issue at hand is they think he's visiting me at my job, and i really do love him to death, when they found out we worked together they were going to force me to quit, but instead he quit himself, and he has bills, he's in college and everything but he still quit for me and he didn't even argue, but even though he's not visiting me and my job even told them that, can they legally force me to quit my job? like my mom said if i go to work tomorrow she'll call the cops and make them bring me home, i called the police station and they said that they wouldn't bring me home but idk :/. My mom also takes all the money i make, and she signs all my paychecks and cashes them in for herself(which isnt this illegal?) I've only been at this job for 1month and i've grown to love it, and i'm in my senior year in highschool, but i'm still getting straight a's.

I don't care about my relationship with my parents, that ended a long time ago when they hit me. All i really want to know is, if i legally walk out the door and go to my job and then return home, can they stop me? And this probably sounds stupid, but it is a very big issue, everyone in my town knows about it, at school everyone calls my parents the crazy parents, i wanted to do extra curricular activities and stuff, and i was doing cheerleading, and they made me quit, and then they wouldn't even let me do this college type thing that would look good for college because it ment i would have to go to the college my boyfriend goes too, but he only goes monday-friday and i would go on saturday and sunday.

I'm on the fence. i don't really know what to do. My grandma told me today that her daughter which is my mom is now a dissapointment to her.


(fyi for anyones information on the BF issue) my parents think i should date someone my age, but everyone at my school, there 16-17, all they want is sex, the guy i'm with hasn't even kissed me yet because he's still too nervous) and the age of consent for nys is 17, so 17 and 20 is legal.


But, i heard from someone that your parents can't use intimidation tactics on there children? like they tell me they'll take away my phone that i pay for, or that my dad's gonna go shoot my boyfriend(he lives right down the street) and he's even said he'll beat me until i listen and that i have to do whatever they say until im 21. Also, cps has been called on my house multiple times, my younger brother has more guts then me and runs away every time he's been hit, and then my parents force him to come back, i want to just somehow put a end to this cycle, not just for me, but for my younger brother too. We've had police look at our bruises and just tell us to tough it out. I've talked to my guidance counselor at my school, and she said that she would back me up and stuff, but i dont know if thats any help..

Yes, they can force you to quit your job.

Yes, they can stop you from leaving home.

Can i ask how? because i'm going to walk out the door tomorrow, and go to my workplace. (reguardless of what anyone says, i will still do this because they can't file a PINS on me, they tried last month and the people wouldn't allow it because i would be 18 by the time it would be granted)

I called a lawyer for free advice and he told me that technically, they can not bring me to work, but since i can walk there, nothing is stopping me unless they physically stop me.
He also told me if my parents know where i am, i am not a runaway, i am a stay-away and that it works differently?


If all else fails, i'm going to wait until my parents physically abuse me again and i'm going to record it on tape and go to the police station.

They can ground you until the day you reach the age of majority. The law allows them to do this.

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Quoting renji1337

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Can i ask how? because i'm going to walk out the door tomorrow, and go to my workplace. (reguardless of what anyone says, i will still do this because they can't file a PINS on me, they tried last month and the people wouldn't allow it because i would be 18 by the time it would be granted)

I called a lawyer for free advice and he told me that technically, they can not bring me to work, but since i can walk there, nothing is stopping me unless they physically stop me.

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Your parents can stop you from leaving the home. They can stop you from going to work. In addition, they could call your employer and tell them their minor child does not have permission from the parents to work. Want to guess what the boss would do then?

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like they tell me they'll take away my phone that i pay for,

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Yes, they can take your phone, even if you paid for it.

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nd the age of consent for nys is 17, so 17 and 20 is legal.

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haven't checked the age but regardless, it still isn't smart.

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can they legally force me to quit my job?

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yes

Well it looks like i'm still just gonna go. The police wont return me home now anyway, what used to happen when i ranaway is the police would return me home within 2-3 days but once i told them my parents physically abuse me they stopped bringing me home. I'm at the point where if my mom doesnt let me work my job i'm going to just fight like she does and let my grades slip down to c's. And i know for a fact she can't do anything about my grades.

my parents signed a form that i have permission before, does that have any validation towards anything.

and i don't see why 17 and 20 isn't smart, people used to get married at the age of 13, my mom is 40 and my dad is 56, i don't care about what everyone else in the world normally does, i only care about what makes me or the people i care about happy. We don't have sex, and we don't even kiss. I don't see how it isn't smart, also are arranged marriages still legal? because my mom talked about that last night.

Also, they wont take my phone for the main reason that since i'm a minor, if my contract breaks they would be billed 560$, that's the only reason they haven't taken it.

they can file for a restraining order against your boyfriend. There are likely crimes he can be charged with. I'll not bother to look any up since you believe you have all the answers.

They can't file for one unless he is a credible threat, they tried to file one before and they weren't able to because he doesn't physical contact with me, and he doesn't infringe on my parents control over me, and that the legal age of consent is 17. and they also didn't keep trying to file one because my parents can't afford a lawyer and they know that he would get one, (he's always told me to just wait it out and listen to them) and i don't believe i have all the answers, i'm just saying i'm still going to go to work anyway, if they make me quit, so be it. doesn't mean i just give up though.

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Quoting renji1337

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Well it looks like i'm still just gonna go. The police wont return me home now anyway, what used to happen when i ranaway is the police would return me home within 2-3 days but once i told them my parents physically abuse me they stopped bringing me home. I'm at the point where if my mom doesnt let me work my job i'm going to just fight like she does and let my grades slip down to c's. And i know for a fact she can't do anything about my grades.

my parents signed a form that i have permission before, does that have any validation towards anything.

and i don't see why 17 and 20 isn't smart, people used to get married at the age of 13, my mom is 40 and my dad is 56, i don't care about what everyone else in the world normally does, i only care about what makes me or the people i care about happy. We don't have sex, and we don't even kiss. I don't see how it isn't smart, also are arranged marriages still legal? because my mom talked about that last night.

Also, they wont take my phone for the main reason that since i'm a minor, if my contract breaks they would be billed 560$, that's the only reason they haven't taken it.

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Well, that confirms that you're nowhere near mature enough to be living outside of the home.

I don't want to move out or live outside the home, i want to help my parents out, that's the reason i got this job, i pay half the house payments currently with it.


The sad part is, my dad doesn't work and my moms disabled, but she doesnt collect disability(idk why), my dad gets unemployment, and they used to rely on my older brothers paycheck to pay the house stuff, he decided that he had enough of my parents and he moved out, so my parents forced me to get a job to help pay, but if they take it away, were just gonna be homeless in the end.


also, according to my boyfriends lawyer, the reason they couldn't file for one besides that is that they have no credible way of proving i'm dating him other then the fact i say i am. Me and him can easily just not text each other, and not talk at all, yet still be dating. and if he doesn't talk or text me at all, they can't slap a restraining order on him, because he wouldn't even be having anything to do with me.



Also i'll admit, yeah i'm nowhere near mature enough to live outside my home yet, i do know that when i turn 18 i am going to go dorm regardless of what my parents say, but they are nowhere near mature either. My parent's are literally the dumbest, there's no possible way they could be looking into my best interests when they wouldn't even let me do extracurricular activities that would look good for college (and this was before i was even dating my boyfriend)

And i apologize to anyone that i come of cocky too, i'm just fed up with it and stuff.

If they can't file a PINS on me and the police wont return me home.

Is there anything else they can do? I know they could send me to a juvenile detention center, i mean i might as well know the consequences of what im doing but seeing as i turn 18 in two months, that would be pointless, and isn't there anything i can do about my parents threatening me and my little brother? I mean, i love my parents to death, but at the same time i already disowned them in my heart, and it's something that won't come back. at-least not for a long time.

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renji1337;661274]They can't file for one unless he is a credible threat,

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as I said, I'll not bother hunting up the laws but you are wrong.

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they tried to file one before and they weren't able to because he doesn't physical contact with me

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what does physical contact have to do with anything?

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, and he doesn't infringe on my parents control over me

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so?

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, and that the legal age of consent is 17.

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that has absolutely nothing to do with their right of parental control over you.

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and they also didn't keep trying to file one because my parents can't afford a lawyer

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they don't need a lawyer. It's a piece of cake to file this by yourself.
one,

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and they know that he would get one

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so what? If he wants to spend the money, that doesn't mean your parents have to spend money on a lawyer.

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(he's always told me to just wait it out and listen to them)

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that isn't what you are saying here.

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and i don't believe i have all the answers, i'm just saying i'm still going to go to work anyway, if they make me quit, so be it. doesn't mean i just give up though.

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I think it's time for you to grow up.

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Me and him can easily just not text each other

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and they can make sure of that by taking your phone away and cancelling your phone contract.

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Quoting jk

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as I said, I'll not bother hunting up the laws but you are wrong.


what does physical contact have to do with anything?

so?

that has absolutely nothing to do with their right of parental control over you.

they don't need a lawyer. It's a piece of cake to file this by yourself.
one,
so what? If he wants to spend the money, that doesn't mean your parents have to spend money on a lawyer.

that isn't what you are saying here.

I think it's time for you to grow up.

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Don't you think i'm grown up in a way that i got a job to help support my family? This is moreso a thing of them noticing that i'm growing up and them knowing that in two months they lose all control over me.

Are you telling me that if i dropped all contact with my boyfriend, and didn't even talk to him that they could still place a restraining order on him? That would be the same as him placing a restraining order on someone he doesnt even know for a false reason isn't it?


Also, they wont cancel my phone contract because they would be hit with the 560$ bill, and me and my boyfriend only text when i'm in school on lunch or study hall, as of right now my parents don't even think i talk to him. I just told them i don't need to talk to someone to date someone. If i have to, i will drop all contact with him but still be dating. it's only two months anyway.

Also i hunted up the laws for NYS and it says that for a restraining order, there needs to be a credible threat.

No. I don't think you're "grown up" for having a job.

Yes, it IS possible for them to obtain a restraining order. If they say "you will NOT contact my minor child", and he keeps up contact, that's all they need in your state.

Now if there's no contact, it's not likely to wash.
But until you reach the ripe old age of 18, their word is golden.

Well, dogmatique, if they were to somehow try to attempt a RO within the next two months (which i know they wont try again), if me and him stopped all contact, but still kept dating, would it be passed?

They've never told him that "YOU can not contact my child" and i know that if they did he would agree to it. He wouldn't dump me, but he would agree to it.


And i mean dating is something we agree on, it doesn't have to be out in the open, it can be in our heads even if we don't talk, we already said that if something happens we just wont talk for the two months and wait it out, we've done this in the past with other issues on his side.


Also, i have a question on emancipation, i realize i probably wouldn't get it, but since i make 1100$ a month, is there a chance i could? i only ask because my boyfriend emancipated himself at 17 through a court, and his parents didn't give him permission, but since he could pay all of his own bills and he had a credible place to stay with a relative the judge agreed

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renji1337;661281]Don't you think i'm grown up in a way that i got a job to help support my family?

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it takes more than one act to show you are grown up. Besides, you said your parents made you get a job and help out. Sure doesn't sound like you did it because it was the mature thing to do.

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This is moreso a thing of them noticing that i'm growing up and them knowing that in two months they lose all control over me.

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and from how you speak, I bet they will be glad to be rid of you.

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Are you telling me that if i dropped all contact with my boyfriend, and didn't even talk to him that they could still place a restraining order on him?

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I guess that is something you will have to wait to find out.

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That would be the same as him placing a restraining order on someone he doesnt even know for a false reason isn't it?

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why is that? You have described yourself as incorrigible. You continue to state how you intend on having contact

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Also, they wont cancel my phone contract because they would be hit with the 560$ bill,

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Unless they signed for it, no, they wouldn't.

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and me and my boyfriend only text when i'm in school on lunch or study hall, as of right now my parents don't even think i talk to him

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.and if they look at your phone? or your phone bill?

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I just told them i don't need to talk to someone to date someone. If i have to, i will drop all contact with him but still be dating. it's only two months anyway

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.You do whatever you think you need to do.

JK if they look at my phone or phone bill they won't see his real number, he texts me off different numbers, never his real number because i told him it wasnt a good idea.

And no they won't be glad to get rid of me, they told me i have to legally stay there until i'm 21, and that if i moveout when im 18 they'll force me back, in which you guys told me they cant do that.


Now is there anything i can do about the abuse issue? i'd be happier to live in a foster home if i could still go to my school. or be relocated to a relative. i have many relatives who want to.

I also have many family members who will be on my side, my grandma and my cousins already told me i should tell someone about the abuse.

and for a little bit of info about the abuse, last week i folded my dads clothes wrong and he punched me in the face and said "guess youll fold them right now" it's things like that.

And like, they way the me and bf's relationship is setup is if they tried to file another RO, there would be no evidence that he talks to me, or even acknowledges i exist. infact my boyfriend wants to drop all contact UNTIL im 18, but i told him that unless my parents tell him he cant talk to me, to not do that.


Also yes the cosigned my phone plan, so they would get hit with the bell, that's why they don't cancel it. They can barely afford to buy food as it is.

if you are abused, you call child protective services or the police.

Can i still call for previous abuse? or does the abuse have to be like happening at the moment, the bruise went away, and i know you guys may think i'm not grown up. but even though i hate my parents, i still want to help them with there financial issues, and place my dad into therapy or something.

I'm not some random 17year old daughter that wants to run away with my boyfriend or anything like the norm.
I want to help support my parents. I want to go to college and be successful, just i want to be a teacher, my parents want me to be a doctor
Idk it's hard to explain, i've never been any bit rebellious till now. I listened to every word my parents said until 3months ago when the abuse started again.


Also, i ask if i can still call because my little brother called once and he couldn't prove it to them, infact he got placed on pins and hes only 15, they won't place me on PINS because i turn 18 in two months.

And i know you told me to grow up, but i think a part of every teenager growing up is to fight back a little. In the laws eyes what my parent's say is equivalent to GOD, but i don't even believe in god anyways, so haha. I mean i'm ready to grow up, i'm ready for responsibilities, infact i want them, it's boring to go to school everyday, and come home and sit in my bedroom 24/7. that's all my parents let me do. it's all i've done for the past 2years.

Also, i just realized something, why are we even talking about RO's? i turn 18 in 1month 14 days, i don't even think an RO would be heard by then.


I'm going to go to bed though, i'll report back in the morning what happens when i still go to work.

Is there a "thingy" to add that shows a person throwing their hands up in the air?

Please PLEASE go talk to your school counselor. Schedule at LEAST an hour to sit with them and tell them what you are trying to tell everyone here. Because it sounds like you are not actually "asking" for help here on this forum, you are arguing and threatening of things you will continue to do... which we have no control over. When the seniors give you advice and you choose NOT to follow the advice, it should stop right there and quit writing posts. You seem to need help and will not call CPS. First step, see your counselor. Second step, call CPS. Third step, forget about your boyfriend, ask your boss if you can have a "leave of absence" for two months until you turn 18. Fourth step.... reread your posts with an open mind and you might find you are not as mature as you think you are. Please get some help.

I'm not going to forget about my boyfriend -_-why should i do that? I've been with him for quite a long time, and i do love him.


BTW, i went to work today, and my parents called the cops but my grandma told me that the cops said there's nothing they can do about it(the cops came to my house basically, and went i got home from work my mom just looked at me and said i hope your happy, you finally got what you wanted", so i think im all set, i am going to talk to my counselor though

I know you think you have to have everything right now, but seriously. Things will go far more smoothly if you wait til you're 18. It will not be that bad to wait til you're 18. You only have less than a year to be under your parents authority and then you can live your life the way you want to live it. Just try to get through the next year, then do what you want after that.

Also, if you are going to be 18 by the time you go to college, then obviously, no they cannot force you to go to college. Until then, just keep saying you're "thinking about it." And then you can decide if you want to go on your own after you're 18.

This is the time to lay low and try to live as peacefully as possible until you get the opportunity to do what you want (which is in less than a year).

And I just saw you said earlier that you'll be 18 in less than two months. That is not very long to wait at all. In fact, I don't know why you're complaining. Just wait two months. My goodness.

Well the reason i'm fighting so much is because i don't want to lose my job, then in 2months go look for another one, i love my job, i make 11$ an hour, i won't be able to find another one like this that pays so much when its my first job.

I mean you have to admit, making someone whos 17, 18 in less than two months, quit there job is stupid. because when i turn 18, i'm going to go dorm at my local college, i need a way to make money while im there >_<


as for the boyfriend issue, i talked to my mom today, she's under the impression that she can't do anything so she just told me "i hope one day you'll break up with him, he doesn't suit you, you could have way better looking guys" so i'm leaving that at that, i'm staying with him regardless.

Well, due to the fact that you're 17, and cannot work if you parents don't allow you to, you may want to reevaluate your plans. There is not just one path in life. Fashion your plans to fit your circumstances.

Well my parents gave up today on trying to make me quit, they called the cops when i went to work and the cops told them there is nothing they can do, although this is not true, my parents believe what cops say. so basically there under the impression now that they can't do anything about me working, so im going to leave it like that lol.

my grandma was there when the cops came and my parents told them to go pick me up from my job, and the cops told them that they cannot do this, basically just that made my parents give up.



My parents literally gave up on everything today because i told them i'm leaving when i'm 18 regardless of whether im with my boyfriend or not. (they thought the only reason i was leaving was because of him)
Like my dad came and talked to me and he said i've broken his heart or whatever but he's going to let me do what i want and that he can't control me anymore lol


so i'm all set now. they still wont let me physically see my boyfriend, but in 2months that wont matter.



Also, im going to see if there's someway to get my dad back in counseling, he has BPD but he doesnt do anything for it, so hey if anything, itll be a win win situation, my dad will get the counseling he needs, and i can finally have a life lol

You know, if you are any kind of human being at all, there is going to come a day when you are going to look back at this thread and say, "What a self-centered, selfish brat I was at 17. How did my parents stand me? No wonder I have no relationship with them today - I wish I'd listened to what others told me".

I can see what you mean cbg, but after my dad abused me, i never really have wanted a relationship with him.

My view on it is, take a piece of paper and crumple it up, stomp on it, and then unravel it, try the hardest you can to flatten that piece of paper out, but no matter how hard you try, the wrinkles are still left in it, and that is how i have felt.

I feel awkward in that, i care about my parents well being, but i personally don't care about there feelings anymore.

I mean i could go ahead, leave my boyfriend, quit my job, and go to a college i don't want for a degree i don't want, but that only makes my parents happy, and me miserable.

I wanted a way to make us both happy, and its not like i tried to be selfish, i sat my parents down and i tried to talk to them very calmly, i was like well, our local college has a degree for early childhood education, and i could start taking classes my senior year, and have a couple credits by the time i graduate and they just clearly said "youre going to be a nurse or a doctor and thats final"

I want everyone to know, my mother has no part in this, my mom told me today that she doesn't dislike my boyfriend, and she doesn't dislike my ideas, it's that my dad makes the decisions, and she won't go against him because they almost got divorced last year(i knew nothhing about divorce or this stuff), so my mom said she basically listens to everything he says and stuff. She even agreed that i should try to get my dad counseling, but i cant force him and neither can she.


This would all be different if my parents provided for me, i have to buy my own food, pay part of the house bills (basically rent without them saying its rent), and i pay for all the bills that i have.
If my parents were the ones paying for everything, then i would agree to anything they would have said, well besides making me take a degree i don't want.

The only reason i myself fought back is because i pull my own weight around here, and i don't really have to, i'm still 17, i could quit my job and they are still under the legal obligation to financially support me until 18. But the thing is, they don't have enough to financially support me, the only thing they do is give me a roof over my head, something that anyone else in my family was willing to do.

Also i am sorry for anyone i came off to as well an asshole, but remember, my whole family agrees with me besides my parents? i mean there has to be some validity when my grandpa, my grandma and everyone wont even really talk to my parents, my parents only talk to my grandma, i see every other kid that have christmas with there family, they have thanksgiving with there family, my thanksgiving is the same old dinner just with my grandma, my other part of the family, they have a huge celebration with the whole family getting together just 7miles down the street, but my parents don't ever go, and i've never been allowed to go, i've never even been allowed to meet the rest of my family, i had to resort to talking to them on fb.


The way i see it, sure i may be a little self centered

But i offered to keep supporting my parents even when i'm in college, stuff like that.
But my parents are self centered with then wont consider my feelings, or what they tell me to do, what effects it will have. They completely know that it would make me unhappy, but they don't consider the effects of that, they only concentrate on what they want, the dreams that they wanted to do but never got to do. I'm sorry but i have different dreams, they'll learn to respect that.
Just because i'm 17, sure i'm not an adult, and sure when i turn 18 i'm an adult, but maturity wise, the difference between a 17 and 18 year old is non existent.

But your parents are not the ones who came here asking for advice. You are.

Yes, that is true.

I came to see what the law said about stuff like this, and obviously, it doesn't work into my favor. But, aslong as my parents don't know the actual laws and find out about them for the next two months, well. i guess it doesn't matter then does it?

They don't research like i do, all they do is play farm-ville all day. and then expect me to think that there words are the words of god, of-course in the laws eyes, there words are words from god, but it's not totally true. Like what you guys tell me is that i have to just listen, and that's it, but what i've been told from police officers, lawyers i've talked to and the local family court, is that this is not the case, so i became confused on the laws, so i decided to ask here.

Sure what you guys say is the law, and yeah, that's true, but that doesn't mean its practiced that way.

If i ran away at the age of 17, my parents should be able to return me home correct? well the cops don't return me home anymore, and legally me running away isn't a criminal matter, which is why they won't.
You should be able to file a pins on a 17year old regardless of how close she is to 18 right? well the judge didn't let her file one.

Cops and PINS are the only resource to have me sent home when i ranaway, without those there is no legal way to return me. and ofcourse the law has these in place for me to be returned.

Well why wasn't i returned? i highly doubt i just lucked out or something.

I hope you have a kid just like yourself.

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Quoting renji1337

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but maturity wise, the difference between a 17 and 18 year old is non existent.

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You are right. You clearly have a VERY long way to go to maturity.

Just because one set of cops has said they will not return you home, does not mean that your parents themselves cannot come after you. Or that another set of cops will not.

I'm not wasting any more time on an immature brat who thinks she has all the answers.

I think the OP is a smart, introspective lady who yes, may behave selfishly at times, but is at an age where it's rather expected. She's supposed to want to spread her wings. She's supposed to chafe under the tight parental control. (not that parents are supposed to give in to her wants, it's just an observation.)
I believe she has more on her plate than most her age, and is caring even under less than ideal conditions.
I feel bad she was abused, and not allowed to participate in after school activities that someone who is smart and dedicated can thrive in. I'm surprised that her mother says that she can get a "better looking" guy than that. That's something a teenage girl would say, not a loving, caring mom.
I trust that if she does have someone "just like her" someday, that she will be a better parent than she's been taught to be.
But anyway, OP, you don't have much time left that you "have to" stay at home. Just make the best of it. When you do leave, make the best of all the opportunities you're given.

And I see someone who is going out of her way to hurt people just because she can.

The way i see it, they're hurting me, if they truly care, then why hurt me?
Besides what i'm doing doesn't actually hurt them, i know for a fact it doesn't, my parents are just egotisitical.

I'll explain how they are, my older brother is 22 and is getting married next week, my mom and dad think they can legally stop it, and they said there going to try because they don't like the girl he's marrying. this right here shows that my parents have issues, control issues that need to stop. i'm all fine and dandy with some control, but not every aspect of my life. every heartbeat and step i take is honestly my own, sure it's because of them i have one. but still.

and yeah when my mom said that i was a bit puzzled, looks shouldn't matter in a relationship lol


I honestly don't even believe my parents are caring. I'll sit at the dinner table with them, and they wont even talk to me, it's like this for everyone in my family. I'll ask for help with my studies, and they just tell me to do it myself, i dont need extra help, the only time they actually say something is when my boyfriend is involved or my job. And honestly, this is the first time they said something about a boyfriend i had, only because he's 20. there just afraid that all he wants is sex, which is something every parent knows is more of what a 16-17year old high school boy will want. but for some reason my parent think all the guys at my high school are angels, they don't believe that 14year olds have sex, i talked to them about this girl whos 15 who got a out of school suspension for having sex in the bathroom, and they told me not to make up stories and lie to them -__-. and then they grounded me because they said i was lieing.

The guy i have now, he completely respects my parents when they disrespect him at every turn, my parents made rumors about him, told people in our town that he likes 14year olds, that hes a pedo.

thats why when they told me i shouldn't see him, he stopped seeing me. and i told him if we couldnt text that he would oblige and just wait.
And it's not like he's waiting for sex from me, he goes to college, he's friends with many beautiful girls, girls that have tried to do stuff with him, but he's able to say no.

He doesn't even defend himself, in his words he said "let them say what they want, aslong as i know its not true, i don't care, it hurts that they say that, but if i tried to talk it out with them, what they would do to you would hurt alot more"

I believe a parent has the right to tell a child what to do, but a parent doesn't have a right to force a minor to believe in something i dont believe, or straight-up tell me things that are unreasonable. They don't have a right to plan my whole future out for me, and force me to follow that path if it's a path that will make me unhappy. I will follow a path that makes me happy, because if i don't, well, whats the point of living?

And of course, the only answer to people "disrespecting" you is to disrespect them right back. I see.

Okay, I said I was done here before. I'm out.

Not quitting my job or leaving my boyfriend just because they want me to isn't disrespecting.

anyway, this is all finished now, im all set. thanks everyone.

BREAK THE CHAIN... you are only as strong as your weakest link. Do NOT be like them.
You are missing the whole point. Talk to your employer about a leave of absence until you are 18 (two months). Stay away/out of contact of your boyfriend until you are 18. If you two are TRULY in love, per se, you can do this without a hitch. Husbands/wives deployed go for months and months without contact. Be respectful to the rules that your parents have in place since you are under their roof and you ARE being disrespectful whether you think you are or not...... wait until you are 18 and then do as you choose, and move out.

i talked to my employer and he said that i wouldn't get a leave of absence, and my parents had signed that i would be able to work for the next 6months without a hitch, i looked at my application and stuff where they signed, and it does show, can i work reliably for the next 6months and they did sign it, as for the boyfriend thing, they didn't say i can't text him, just cant hang out with him, and we comply with it.

Sorry, but that's a complete crock.

It doesn't matter what your parents signed - they are ABSOLUTELY within their rights to withdraw consent at any time, for any reason.

Well, the good thing is they don't know this lol. so i can keep working, plus i found out from my employer that my mom legally can't take my money from me, so i'm making a bank account that my parents wont have access to and were changing it to direct deposit.

All I can say is Good Luck. You fall into that crack in society where no matter what you do, you are wrong. Remember, this is a speed bump, the sign says "Life Ahead"!!!