How to Get Visitation if the Child is in a Different State

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA and CO
My ex was here in CO staying with her sister who I work with. She had her son with her and his father lives in CA. For about 7 months she said her ex was fighting with her about their son and somehow I got stuck in the middle of it. I tried hard not to interfere or have any influence with his son about anything. About 6 months later she said she was pregnant and it was mine and everything was going to be ok now. Then after weeks of her crying about her ex harassing her and trying to win custody of the son and telling her, (according to her words I don't know if he really said this) that I'm in deep shit with him and better get my affairs in order, well she then tells me it was a false alarm and she's not pregnant. She disappeared and her sister said she is back home in CA. It didn't take long to get over it since there was a lot of drama. But fast forward over a year later and I am friends with her sister still and we work together and she tells me my ex has a new son one year old. I check her facebook and he looks just like me when I was one year old. I contact my ex and she says she told me she was pregnant and now I'm pretending to be surprised. I email her and ask her why she lied to me and she starts accusing me of lying and harassment. So I contact her father whom I had been on good terms with, hoping to work something out with him so he can talk to my ex for me. He tells me I am a piece of crap who abandoned his daughter and now a real man has stepped up to the plate. There is now a domestic violence protection order warning from a police officer but I don't know if it's real because the call came from an unavailable number and he was asking me questions. Somebody supposedly is constantly calling her from a blocked number and she is saying it's me which it's not I don't ever call her and she said I am trying to break up her marriage. Just before this call, my ex emailed me and said she is worried I will destroy my son's life if I try to be involved because I am bitter and have made up false accusations about her being a deceitful person and I will poison he son's brain. To make matters worse, I was under the impression there was a divorce but they are now married. I am not sure if they are remarried or there was never a divorce. Her sister says she honestly doesn't know anything about any divorce but there was always talk of it. My ex says her husband is on my son's birth certificate and I need to start respecting it or I will not be able to see my son when they think it's appropriate to allow me to. I don't even know what she's talking about because I have only been asking questions trying to figure out what's going on. She has been sending me some pictures of my son and lots of them have her husband together with my son which I think is to try and get some reaction out of me and get a restraining order. I said I don't want those pictures and she says things like, "so you have no interest in your son after all then?". She said he is definitely my son and a private dna test ruled out her husband who admits he never slept with her anywhere near time of conception.

My question is will I be able to get a visitation order? If I do, will I have to pay all the travel costs? Will I always have to travel there to CA or will my son be able to come see me and my family here in CO?

Are situations like these better left alone if my son is to have a good life? I would hate to let people just take my son away from me and dump all the guilt on me. But I don't like the idea of constant rivalry and my son traveling. I was looking over some previous posts and it looks like lots of drama. I don't know if I will make that worse for my son even with good intentions. Seem all like a catch 22.

When did she get married in relation to conception and the birth of the child?

She always referred to her husband as her ex and would say "since the divorce.......". I was able to get her husband on the phone and he said there was never a divorce and that my ex told him I "knew the deal and trash talked him". I think he and I have always been told different and untrue stories about each other. I just want to know if a visitation arrangement can be made that is beneficial to a child and fair to a parent.