My Crazy Ex Wants Money After 7 Years and an Adopted Child That is Not Mine. Really

well , do you have any documentation of this?

I am only asking because every lawyer in KY that i spoke to says other wise, mine hers, even the JUDGE..... they told me that the KY law tries to keep the marriage alive and she would not have to do a DNA test if she didnt want too.

SO i ask you my brother... why would the judge lie to me if i requested a paternity test with my ex and with the courts?

how are you 100% sure of this...

1. I'm not your brother.

2. Keeping the marriage "alive" has absolutely nothing to do with one parent disputing paternity as part of the divorce. Are you misunderstanding what you were told?

Go here: https://secure.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.n...0!opendocument

And here: http://julieshapiro.wordpress.com/20...osing-fathers/

And here: http://www.ehow.com/facts_6837016_ke...rnity-law.html

I don't think you understood what you were being told.

you could be right....

but why would the judge tell me that as well, she would not lie nor would she not know the laws, right?

it just doesn;'t add up...

no need to act that way, just trying to be nice....

i appreciate your advice..

I had an attorney at that time, she told me that she didn't have to take any tests, in fact everyone agreed...I made numerous calls.... i did request the test..

so I guess we will have to see what happens.. the courts do at times, have a test done...

it is about the interest of the child..
thanks

(Hon, I'm not your brother because I'm not male ;) )

You're still not understanding me though.

You cannot request a DNA paternity test because you have no standing to do so. Again, once your divorce was finalized, paternity was firmly established and you were Dad. So, when you signed for the adoption some years later, you were no longer Dad but that would not wipe out any child support arrears from before that time. They cannot be challenged at this point. It's too late.

You're welcome.

oh, sorry.. :)

I understand completely..

we will just have to see about the then won't we....

:cool:

where there is a will there is a way...

what if i can prove that the case is closed?

Okay, I think we're done here.

You're not listening and we're certainly not going to start lying to you to tell you what you want to hear.

i believe you...

look at it from a males point of view.. I dont think your lying....

I dont want to hear hey dude your off the hook.....

I want to know that when i do have to pay, it is really mine,,

I know for a fact that she was sleeping with someone else.. that is not my fault.. no one is really on the GUYS side.,...

we jsut get ****ed, bad advice or not...

how would you like to pay for a child you can't see, touch or ever have any contact with?

does that make any sense to you?

but it seems that this is a very sensitive issue for you, so no need to respond.. I will get help from someone else..

thanks again

Okay - let me ask you something?

How would it be in the child's best interest for the court to order a DNA paternity test?

Seriously - let's flesh this out.

(I do find it amusing that you were okay with my answers while you were assuming I was male - that was cute!)

ok... lets say by some stretch of the imagination we can get a paternity test done...

I have to pay.. fine... as long as it is mine, if it is not, i dont pay, right?

the child is 7 now... would she have the right to know who her birth father is at some point?

the ex and her family has no idea that paternity was ever in question... 1 phone cal would change that.. her mom made her return a pack of gym in a grocery store when she took it from the shelf hen she was around 5 or so... what do you think her mom would do if she heard this?


I am not so much concerned to paying, I mean id rather not.. however, if i do.... Do i just pay and that is it?

nothing more?

so by saying to protect the child, I left when she was 3 months old, i moved out..

she has no idea who I am.... it seemed to be the best option at that time... I didnt want to suffer through a marriage that was not going well at all.. that little girl is in good hands, the new father seemed nice, and the ex would have made a great mom.. but a horrible partner....

why interrupt her life now?

if the ex gets money, I will find a way to get to the daughter to let her know the truth.

this women wanted money from me since day one, and deserving.... to a point.... but once confronted, she hung up on me and never called back.. all she had to do when I asked for a paternity test is give one and i would have had to pay or go to jail... she did nothing.,,.

now that i have a new life, she wants money..... no hew how are you. jut f you and pay me....

I want to her to confess....

does this make sense?

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Quoting osfitness

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ok... lets say by some stretch of the imagination we can get a paternity test done...

I have to pay.. fine... as long as it is mine, if it is not, i dont pay, right?

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Wrong.

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the child is 7 now... would she have the right to know who her birth father is at some point?

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Sure - but the court certainly won't take on that responsibility.

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the ex and her family has no idea that paternity was ever in question... 1 phone cal would change that.. her mom made her return a pack of gym in a grocery store when she took it from the shelf hen she was around 5 or so... what do you think her mom would do if she heard this?

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Roll her eyes, probably?

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I am not so much concerned to paying, I mean id rather not.. however, if i do.... Do i just pay and that is it?

nothing more?

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This is where I think the confusion is coming in a little bit. The court orders DNA testing to establish or disestablish paternity. Your paternity is no longer an issue, because of the adoption. So why would the court order DNA testing when a) the child has a legal father and b) you aren't the biological father? It serves no purpose - and remember, this is about the child. Not the parents.

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so by saying to protect the child, I left when she was 3 months old, i moved out..

she has no idea who I am.... it seemed to be the best option at that time... I didnt want to suffer through a marriage that was not going well at all.. that little girl is in good hands, the new father seemed nice, and the ex would have made a great mom.. but a horrible partner....

why interrupt her life now?

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See previous response.

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if the ex gets money, I will find a way to get to the daughter to let her know the truth.

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Good luck with that - you'll likely end up with a criminal record. Because even though you're likely on the hook for past child support, you still have no rights to the child.

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this women wanted money from me since day one, and deserving.... to a point.... but once confronted, she hung up on me and never called back.. all she had to do when I asked for a paternity test is give one and i would have had to pay or go to jail... she did nothing.,,.

now that i have a new life, she wants money..... no hew how are you. jut f you and pay me....

I want to her to confess....

does this make sense?

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It does, but - and I'm truly not intending to be mean or disrespectful here - only in a very naive way.

You had every opportunity to challenge your presumed paternity. You didn't, and doubly solidified it by allowing the adoption to go through. At this point the poor child has had at least two fathers. You relinquished your rights, and even if you're BioDad the court is NOT going to put that little girl through it all again. You won't get a do-over just because you're suddenly being forced to pay CS arrears.

Now with that said, was there EVER a child support order from BEFORE the adoption took place? I've tried to re-read but if the answer is up there somewhere it got lost.