Mother is Emotionally Abusing Child

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Florida


Hi,

I need some help please. I have been separated (never married) with my ex for a couple of years now and last week I found out my ex is abusing my daughter emotionally, she's telling my daughter that I call her mother bad names, also, whenever my daughter wants to sometime from a store she tells her that she cannot buy because daddy didn't give her money, and she's not picking up my phone calls, however all this is not true because all i do is talk good about her mother and I always give her a check every two weeks when i get paid. I feel like just picking up my daughter from school and not letting her stay with her mother because she's abusing my daughter, today when my daughter finally sent me a video chat request I was talking to her and I asked her what she did today and she said that she stayed home because daddy didn't give mom any money and her eyes got watery and almost started crying, and that is not true, i give her mom a check every two weeks, I feel helpless and dont know what to do, I feel like picking up my daughter from school tomorrow and not letting her stay with her mother anymore until she changes her ways, I'm just afraid i will make things worse and get arrested or something, do u know what are my options, or what u would recommend, I live in the state of florida, I was never married to my ex but my name is on the birth certificate and I have proof I have been giving her child support (well under the table bc we have never gone to court for child support) also let me mention this just in case, Im with my daughter three days a week and she's with her 4 days a week, please help, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you

Victor

You're going to need a lot more "abuse" than that, and clearly documented.

My Ex was telling my children (who were 1+4 when we seperated, are now 5+8) that mommy was X, Y, Z....telling them I was a crazy B...That I stole all his money...etc.
(fww, he was/is living with is parents at hadn't paid child support in 9m, and he pays a whopping 500/mth for two kids. he has nothing to complain about in that regard IMHO)
He refused to let them talk to me even though I called 5 days into 30 day summer visit...and called and left a voicemail every day thereafter.

Judges know that parents are ugly when they divorce (or in your case seperate). Unfortunately all too many put the kids in the middle. The ONLY thing you can do is be the better parent.
That and hope your ex gets over it. it's been 5 years with mine and he's lightened up quite a bit....but it still happens.

Everyone tells me "well, cheer up.....eventually they will realize their dad is an A**" like i'd want that?!?
I'd rather he be a decent parent instead!

Quote:

---

Quoting escobar479

---

I feel like just picking up my daughter from school and not letting her stay with her mother

---

If you'd like to potentially face a kidnapping charge, by all mean, go ahead with this plan. If you're ready to be an "official" parent to this chid, then go to court, establish paternity if isn't already, get yourself court ordered visitation, and pay the going rate for child support. At THAT point, you'll be in a position to argue parenting issues.

Quote:

---

because she's abusing my daughter, today when my daughter finally sent me a video chat request I was talking to her and I asked her what she did today and she said that she stayed home because daddy didn't give mom any money and her eyes got watery and almost started crying, and that is not true, i give her mom a check every two weeks, I feel helpless and dont know what to do,

---

See above. If you're upset that mom is making you out to be an "inactive" or "under supportive" parent, then BE active and supportive, OFFICIALLY.

Quote:

---

I feel like picking up my daughter from school tomorrow and not letting her stay with her mother anymore until she changes her ways, I'm just afraid i will make things worse and get arrested or something,

---

How is it going to benefit your child to have you in jail? How will you have the time and money to do what you NEED to do, if you're spending it defending yourself for doing the WRONG thing?

Quote:

---

do u know what are my options, or what u would recommend, I live in the state of florida, I was never married to my ex but my name is on the birth certificate and I have proof I have been giving her child support (well under the table bc we have never gone to court for child support)

---

Then you've been giving gifts, and have a child under the table too. Get yourself recognized as the father, and establish your rights and responsibilities. Until then, you're really a stranger to the situation.

This OP became incredibly rude and antagonistic elsewhere.

Dad is trying to punish Mom - nothing more, nothing less.

Honestly I feel that the discussion on both sides, here and elsewhere, is fairly appalling. I also truly doubt that, if dad is on child's birth certificate, he would be charged with kidnapping for picking child up from school. Just sayin'.

Dad may or may not be trying to get back at mom, but I don't think that it's "nothing more, nothing less" than that.

Basylica's repsonse was the best advice in my opinion. Unfortunately a court cannot fix everything for you. There are certainly things you can ask a court to do for you, but most of this is personal and OP will just have to deal by taking the high road.

Guess he doesn't realize that mom has the ability to cut off ALL contact between him and the child until he gets a court order, huh?

Not saying he shouldn't get things in writing as far as time shares and such... but he does need to realize that the court is not going to be able to "fix" the nonsense.

Seeing as you have the child 3 days/week get the child into counsling first thing. Give your child a third party outlet for the emotions that can be overwhelming for her. This also gives you a way to document any abuse/ if there is any. And also go to court and get established with an order. Most importantly for your child's sake, get her in counsling, this will help all around.

Quote:

---

Quoting worriedmommy

---

Seeing as you have the child 3 days/week get the child into counsling first thing. Give your child a third party outlet for the emotions that can be overwhelming for her. This also gives you a way to document any abuse/ if there is any. And also go to court and get established with an order. Most importantly for your child's sake, get her in counsling, this will help all around.

---

If Dad doesn't have legal custody he has absolutely no right to enroll the child into counseling - period.

True he has no legal right, but since mom is recognizing him as father and allowing time with him technically he could right?

Quote:

---

Quoting worriedmommy

---

True he has no legal right, but since mom is recognizing him as father and allowing time with him technically he could right?

---

Nope.

And any non-emergency provider could end up in trouble themselves.