Not sure how you can definitively assert adultery WON'T have any bearing in a Florida custody case.Quote:
Quoting Dogmatique
Adultery should be raised to question and instill some bias against mom's character and parenting. And far from "extreme conservative Jeb Bush like judges", even liberal minded judges who are parents also take a dim view of adultery and exposing children to this.
Within the large gray area in custody rulings in which judges decisions are indisputable and darn near absolute, the father may certainly end up with more favorable rulings on visitation and other salient points than he might have otherwise had.
Taking a Child on a Trip With Another Man
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10-07-2012, 08:21 AMtex11Re: Divorce
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10-07-2012, 10:37 AMllworkingRe: DivorceAdultery is irrelevent in a no-fault state.Quote:
Quoting tex11
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10-07-2012, 11:44 AMtex11Re: DivorceAdultery is still on the books in Florida and despite being a no-fault state, a divorce may still be granted on the specific ground raised of adultery. And it is still on the books a court 'may' consider it on division of assets.Quote:
Quoting llworking
Beyond this, Florida law provides that "moral fitness" of a parent is a factor to be considered in best interest determinations. And to suggest adultery is irrelevant to this, or that only an extremely conservative Jeb Bush type judge is likely to deem adultery relevant, is incorrect.
Given Florida law leaves doors open for adultery to be considered, one cannot say adultery is NOT relevant.
It most certainly MAY be relevant -
10-08-2012, 03:39 PMgatorbearRe: Divorce
the "wife" insists that it is just a friendship between her and this other guy....but he is always around...has a place setting at the table...has flip flops by the front door...seemslike whenever my son is with his mom....this guy is always there....the shared parenting agreement was between her and I...not myself her and her friend.....next latest thing....she told me the other day she is thinking about getting a roommate,,,,a 52 yr old recovering drug addict with a 12 yr old daughter whom the mother has custody of.. not to inply this 52 yr old woman is a bad person or anything but I do not feel comfortable with my child liveing in that enviroment 50 % of the time....seriously considering going for majority custody or even full .... would I have a chance ?
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10-08-2012, 03:53 PMlegend50Re: Divorce
Honestly this is the situation where I always see custody battles get completely out of control. Whenever the other parent starts dating the case file blows up and when Gatorbear starts dating the ex-wife will be just as jealous. The reality is when you break up your jealous of whoever the new person is even you initiated the breakup and not only is there jealously this new person is with your kid and your the other parent is not comfortable with it. The same thing will happen to Gatorbear when he starts dating again and the mom will not like the new person.
It is generally not worth a fight in something like this because every dime and minute you spend in family court is time and money that both parents spend fighting eachother instead of working together as parents. Furthermore, both you and the mother are going to be intertwined for the rest of your life. Your kid is going to graduate high school, college, get married, have your grandchildren, and both you and the mother will be there and odds are so will this guy or some other guy and the girl you start dating will be there as well. Much better to get along and deal with eachother than fight eachother and ruin these moments
It is a camping trip you probably don't like it, but if your in a custody battle there are going to be a lot of "things" neither of you like. Weekends you want to do something that mom wants to, friends you don't like etc, raising a kid is hard enough in normal circumstances and your in the difficult scenario of creating two families which is hard, and if you fight over stuff like this it will never end. You will be spending years in court and possibly spending 100,000+ or more and all that time and money would be much better going to your kid instead of to lawyers and courts.
No I don't know all the details of the situation and neither does anyone else on this board or others it is a highly personal decision and you know the facts better than anyone else here, but remember you have to prove anything you say in court and so does she. Feel free to go into a family court and watch how horrible these custody battles get. You have a constitutional right to watch court cases so check it out it might even be good if both you and the mother go together and you can see how sad it is that parents fight like that instead of raising their kid. I wish you and your family good luck it is a very difficult situation that your in and hopefully everyone handles it well. -
10-08-2012, 04:05 PMcbgRe: Divorce
To the OP: I understand why you think there is more going on than a friendship, and I suspect you are quite right. But do you have any EVIDENCE?
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10-08-2012, 04:12 PMaardvarcRe: DivorceNot realistically, no. There's a current order in place. That means that the court has already found mom to be an adequate parent and although you may take exception to mom POTENTIALLY (since neither you nor we have evidence to the contrary) sweeping a new man into her life, the functional reality is that (a) being separated with an order in place is functionally "divorce-light", and the courts aren't going to view it as a problem of adultry, and (b) Florida, like most states, has lots of laws that sit gathering dust in the books, adultry being among them - UNLESS you can somehow prove that adulterous action was somehow witnessed by the child or that the individual in question reasonably poses some obvious danger to the child (which would really make it an endangerment issue, still not an adultry issue). Again, lots of stuff on paper could be problematic here - but the court isn't going to care that mom has already functionally replaced you. Remember, mom had the presence of mind to choose YOU, so her decision-making can't be ALL bad, when it comes to men, right?Quote:
Quoting gatorbear
You're certainly encouraged to seek the opinion of local counsel - preferably more than one - but thus far I'm not seeing anything that would cause a court to intervene, much less consider a change of custody.
Be very careful about the roommate thing. Who do you think it is that SENDS drug addicts to programs, under the guise that such programs are the key to turning addicts back into productive members of society? It ain't the drug users who suddenly see the light and decide to go for their own welfare- it's....wait for it....JUDGES who MAKE them go there. If the person in question successfully completed any court-ordered program, then as far as the courts are concerned, they are golden. Now you and I might feel different (I'm with you on this one), but judges tend to give benefit of the doubt until they are beaten over the head with something else. From the judge's perspective, simply being a recovering addict in and of itself isn't relevant. If you want to IMPLY that the person might GIVE the child drugs, or that the child might FIND drugs around the house, then you're going to need something to suggest that the person is inclined to do so - cause as it stands today, the person will be seen as a RECOVERING addict. Burden will be on you to show WHY they are NOW a danger after their (tongue in cheek) rehab program. It's gotta be more than "I don't like the idea of"...judges act on CONCRETE.