How Can You Have Child Support Canceled and Your Arrears Forgiven

My question involves child support in the State of: NEW YORK/florida

I bought my x a house and supported her and paid for my kids, gave her a car and paid all her bills for ten years while she didnt work. She ended up being unfaithful, took the kids and left the household against my will. She now refuses to work, insists on being social services dependent and lives with her mom rent free.

It basically has put me in financial ruin where I have almost been evicted, I havent been able to pay my rent or fix my car or pay off any traffic tickets. So Im wondering if there is any way to SIGN MY RIGHTS AWAY, or convince the court to forgive the arrears and cancel my support obligation as long as she does not work, remains on social services and lives rent free.

I do not mind supporting my kids and am in contact with them, but i am not financially stable to continue a support order. I have had my license suspended, checks garnished, tax returns taken, passport denials, and basically it has been almost impossible to get any straight answers out of anyone. Simply because I am the non custodial parent NYS does not even want to talk to me, give me information and continues to give me the run around.

p.s. I live in Florida, which does have a pro non custodial parent law, but I believe i am still goverened by NYS child support laws. Subsuquently, my first child was born in florida and my x took the child over state lines without my permission

You cannot sign away your obligations unless Mom has remarried and there is a stepparent willing to adopt.

The court is not likely to forgive the arrears if they're owed to Mom, and the State will absolutely not forgive the arrears if they're owed to the State.

Your CS order is out of New York; it doesn't matter what Mom earns since the calculation is based upon your earnings only.

Oh, stop getting traffic tickets, too. That's not helping you. Your children still need to eat - why do you think you shouldn't support them?

I dont mind supporting them, but my x needs to be responsible for her choices as well. If you have ever been jobless, almost homeless, nearly evicted, cannot pay for food or bills then you might understand where im coming from. I was once a productive intelligent member of society with a good job and a nice car. But since NYS takes half of any income I earned its all but ruined me. I cant start my own company, work, get my taxes done without them taking my money I earned. If I was making $100 grand a year fine.

She needs to be responsible for leaving my household. If I have to pay she should have a stipulation she needs to be employed as well. I am not supporting her while she sits home smokes cigarettes, lives rent free, watches cable and plays with her phone while I am forced to work have a boss and deal with everyday life while she does nothing.

p.s. the birth control was her department and she got pregnant on the pill

This may be an odd question, but if you bought your x a house and she moved out, why don't you just move into the house you bought her (if you are being evicted from your current home)? Pay off your traffic tickets. Move forward and get yourself on a financial plan. Forget about being bitter because she seems to have a gravy life, you enabled it for 10 years.. That animosity is not going to help anyone.

Im not here to justify anything to anyone. 1, I no longer have the house. I can not get a financial plan because they take almost half my check. I didnt enable anything, I was kind and understanding. She took care of the kids and I supported her. (not that she could work at any rate)

The bottom line is she hasnt worked, doesnt wanna work, lives rent free, leetches off social services, doesnt have to deal with work or a boss and doesnt have to pay rent. It disgusts me any court or person that would take her side. I work for my life and my money, she doesnt have to get up at 6 am. She doesnt have to deal with rent, or a boss or any of that. She gets a free ticket in life and I get the bill

Quote:

---

Quoting thegreattailz

---

Im not here to justify anything to anyone. 1, I no longer have the house. I can not get a financial plan because they take almost half my check. I didnt enable anything, I was kind and understanding. She took care of the kids and I supported her. (not that she could work at any rate)

The bottom line is she hasnt worked, doesnt wanna work, lives rent free, leetches off social services, doesnt have to deal with work or a boss and doesnt have to pay rent. It disgusts me any court or person that would take her side. I work for my life and my money, she doesnt have to get up at 6 am. She doesnt have to deal with rent, or a boss or any of that. She gets a free ticket in life and I get the bill

---

You're not listening.

It doesn't MATTER what she does or doesn't earn - your state does not care what the CP earns. Your state takes a straight percentage of the NCP's income.

As for "birth control was her department" - that wouldn't wash if you were 16 and trying to make excuses, and it certainly doesn't wash now you're an adult.

Pay the child support or deal with the consequences.

I dont care. Shes a fat ass lazy nobody. She was a somebody when I supported her. She had a job paying $13 bucks an hour, she isnt helpless. Im not debating it the facts are the facts and your not helping. Im not paying it because it goes against every bone in my body.

For every girl that has a choice theres a guy left on the hook who doesnt

The facts are that you owe child support.

Better pay it, or you'll be in deep doo-doo.

:cool:

Quote:

---

Quoting thegreattailz

---

For every girl that has a choice theres a guy left on the hook who doesnt

---

You didn't have a choice? She forced you into sex? Unprotected sex? (Not that protection is 100% effective all the time, cause it's not). Regardless of what you think of your ex, the COURT only cares about the child with 1/2 of your genetics in it - and it'll obligate you to support that child, up to an including time to sit in jail and think about it.

This isn't an issue about MOM, no matter how you want to bend it, it's an issue about the CHILD. Even if the child were living with somone else, you'd STILL be on the hook for child support, based on your state's formula on your income.

Your state is like my state in the fact that you pay a % of your gross income based on number of children.
my ex barely makes min wage and his parents are supporting him and the children, even though he has ability to make 50-60k a year easy (he even has a degree which I do not) and there is nothing I can say about that.

However, I could make 5 million a year and he'd still have to pay THE SAME EXACT AMOUNT!!

States like california take into account both parent's income before computing childsupport.
Our states it doesn't matter one wit.

the only person suffering due to her lack of income is HER. She could be making 6 figures and your child support would be the same darn thing.
Suck it up and pay for your kids. You made em....now you gotta pay for them.

If the amount is putting you in dire straights then
a - you shouldn't have built up arrears
b - get a better paying job, a roommate, a second job, etc
c - pay for a lawyer and go to court and ask for a reduction in support which is HIGHLY unlikely as you are in a stright percentage based state and will only put you further in the hole.

The attitude towards your ex wife will only estrange your children, not to mention the fact you'd sign your rights away in a heartbeat.
You need to grow up and accept responsibilities for your actions and stop blaming your EX....lazy or not, she isn't doing ANYTHING to you.

By your first post, I sympathized with you but still agreed with the others.

Basically the answer to your question is "no, you have to pay child support."

But with every person telling you that, you got more and more aggressive.

I don't feel sorry for you anymore. It's not mature to name-call the mother of your children (who YOU chose to make a mother).

Yeah, the system has flaws, but it's meant to protect CHILDREN. If you remember that, then maybe you'll feel better about going to work, and paying rent, and all those things.

It saddens me greatly that one day his kids might come across this and realize their Papa has been so keen to "get rid" of them.

:(

Your poor kids....it's sad you are only thinking of yourself and how this whole thing is affecting you and only you.

Whether you like it or not, you have kids and their needs have to be met. Like someone else stated, kids don't stop eating and needing things like shoes & clothes and housing, just because you lost your job.

Quote:

---

Quoting thegreattailz

---

tax returns taken, passport denials
I was once a productive intelligent member of society with a good job and a nice car. But since NYS takes half of any income I earned its all but ruined me. I cant start my own company, work, get my taxes done without them taking my money I earned. If I was making $100 grand a year fine.

---

Awww....poor baby! having to support your children caused you to be fired and your car was blown to bits eh?

why do you need a passport if you are so very very destitute that you can't afford rent and food? Can you also afford international travel??
and OH DEAR! you can't afford to start your very own buisness?!?!?! what madness is this??

please join us here on earth. I can't do any of those things and I work my tush off. Sometimes working 120hr weeks and traveling and such. I was averaging about 12hrs of sleep A WEEK for several years in order to support my kids and keep a roof over our heads.

You need to stop worrying about what everyone else has and focus on you. Just because your ex has found a way to sit on her butt and watch tv doesn't mean you should be able to. Yeash.

Pathetic, sorry. First and most important statement I can address to you sir....you are NOT contributing to your childrens existence. Therefore, she must not be so fat and lazy because SOMEONE is paying for YOUR children. YOUR unpaid child support is not.The support that you are ordered to pay does NOT by any means cover 1/2 of the price of raising a child. So, if you arent paying support...she is supporting them by her own means. THAT my dear is never a "lazy" job.