ExpertLaw.com Forums

What Happens at the First Hearing on a Temporary Protective Order

Printable View

  • 09-15-2012, 06:10 AM
    podster123
    What Happens at the First Hearing on a Temporary Protective Order
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Georgia. I filed a TPO against my ex-husband, my son's father. This will be the first appearance in court. He is mentally unstable and I have documented several incidents of violence and threats to our (my son and I) lives. He is $4,000 behind in child support and my attorney has filed a contempt order. We just went to court for a modification of child support and he has not complied with the terms of that modification (an in-kind trade of assets in lieu of child support, which at the time the ex had agreed to and the judge granted permission, but since then the ex changed his mind and refuses to comply). At the time the TPO was filed, it was a domestic violence incident where he became physically and verbally violent, damaged my car, threatened my life, but no charges were filed for this because I did not have any apparent injuries. However, he was arrested for an outstanding bench warrant for a DUI; he had been hiding from the warrant for over a year. When they arrested him he tried to run from the officer and received an obstruction charge. I immediately began the TPO process, and had the order signed and filed with the clerk of courts by 12:00 noon the next day, hoping that they would serve him the order in jail, but he was released on an O.R. bond 30 minutes before I arrived. Part of the paperwork included a checklist assessing the likelihood that an abuser will kill, I checked all 10. My questions are: what happens if he does not show up, will he be arrested then for nonpayment of child support, what happens if he makes accusations against me in court, can he be ordered to seek mental evaluation and treatment, should I bring witnesses, and any other advice you could provide that would help. I do have an attorney but was unable to reach him last week to ask him these questions. My son witnessed the violence in one incident, I did not report it but did document this and have transcribed statements from my husband, son, and son's friend describing in their own words what happened. Should I bring this up because I was told that if my son witnessed violence it could result in child abuse charges against me. I thank you in advance for your help.
  • 09-15-2012, 06:22 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance
    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Georgia. I filed a TPO against my ex-husband, my son's father. This will be the first appearance in court. He is mentally unstable and I have documented several incidents of violence and threats to our (my son and I) lives.

    Please clarify "documented".


    Quote:

    He is $4,000 behind in child support and my attorney has filed a contempt order.

    Interesting that you mention that. Given that it's completely irrelevant.

    Quote:

    We just went to court for a modification of child support and he has not complied with the terms of that modification (an in-kind trade of assets in lieu of child support, which at the time the ex had agreed to and the judge granted permission, but since then the ex changed his mind and refuses to comply). At the time the TPO was filed, it was a domestic violence incident where he became physically and verbally violent, damaged my car, threatened my life, but no charges were filed for this because I did not have any apparent injuries.

    This is sounding more and more like vengeance.

    Quote:

    However, he was arrested for an outstanding bench warrant for a DUI; he had been hiding from the warrant for over a year. When they arrested him he tried to run from the officer and received an obstruction charge. I immediately began the TPO process, and had the order signed and filed with the clerk of courts by 12:00 noon the next day, hoping that they would serve him the order in jail, but he was released on an O.R. bond 30 minutes before I arrived.

    I'm wondering why you felt it necessary to file at all.


    Quote:

    Part of the paperwork included a checklist assessing the likelihood that an abuser will kill, I checked all 10.

    I hope you're kidding.


    Quote:

    My questions are: what happens if he does not show up, will he be arrested then for nonpayment of child support, what happens if he makes accusations against me in court, can he be ordered to seek mental evaluation and treatment, should I bring witnesses, and any other advice you could provide that would help. I do have an attorney but was unable to reach him last week to ask him these questions. My son witnessed the violence in one incident, I did not report it but did document this and have transcribed statements from my husband, son, and son's friend describing in their own words what happened. Should I bring this up because I was told that if my son witnessed violence it could result in child abuse charges against me. I thank you in advance for your help.


    Talk to your attorney.
  • 09-15-2012, 06:43 AM
    podster123
    Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance
    Documented: kept a journal of times, dates and places so I could remember the details. Perhaps a more concise way of stating the next three paragraphs is that this man has contemptuously defied the Court many times, and has remained unscathed. This is not vengeance, this is I've finally had enough. I am asking these questions because I do not KNOW what will happen if he does not show up for court, and because despite having paid an attorney I am still in the dark. I am the only family my son has besides this joke of a father and I am AFRAID of what will happen tomorrow. I am sincerely grateful for any advice you could give, but frankly find your tone quite condescending. I am a victim and I am trying to use the system to put a stop to being a victim; so far the only help received from anywhere has been repeated kicks to the cods. So any advice on how to best present myself and my case at the hearing would be very, VERY much appreciated.
  • 09-15-2012, 07:18 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance
    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    Documented: kept a journal of times, dates and places so I could remember the details.

    I could also write a journal of times, dates and places and I could make up any number of things. Y'know? You need police reports, convictions. That sort of thing.


    Quote:

    Perhaps a more concise way of stating the next three paragraphs is that this man has contemptuously defied the Court many times, and has remained unscathed. This is not vengeance, this is I've finally had enough.
    I'm still not seeing grounds for a restraining order.


    Quote:

    I am asking these questions because I do not KNOW what will happen if he does not show up for court, and because despite having paid an attorney I am still in the dark.

    We cannot guess what will happen if he doesn't show. If you can't get answers from your attorney, you need to find a new attorney.

    Quote:


    I am the only family my son has besides this joke of a father and I am AFRAID of what will happen tomorrow.
    You chose that "joke". And that's not me judging you - that is, literally, the way the court will see it.

    Quote:

    I am sincerely grateful for any advice you could give, but frankly find your tone quite condescending.

    No you're not. And that's fine.

    Quote:

    I am a victim and I am trying to use the system to put a stop to being a victim; so far the only help received from anywhere has been repeated kicks to the cods. So any advice on how to best present myself and my case at the hearing would be very, VERY much appreciated.

    Talk to your attorney.

    And honestly hon? Get into therapy. The victim mentality CAN be overcome - trust me, I've been there done that and worn ragged the t-shirt.
  • 09-15-2012, 08:32 AM
    drthyrd
    Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance
    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    My questions are: what happens if he does not show up,.

    You will likely get the TPO by default
    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    will he be arrested then for nonpayment of child support,

    No idea. You deserve both safety and child support but if you could only pursue one of these two things, which would it be? Going after child support means engaging your ex. Engaging your ex will mean escalating the conflict… Can you see where I am going with this? If you are in fear of your life, you might decide that chasing down the child support, even though you deserve it and the court ordered it, isn’t a wise move. Someone on this site once advised me to read Gavin DeBecker’s Gift of Fear. I found it very useful. You might as well.

    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    what happens if he makes accusations against me in court,.

    You wait until he is done speaking and respond truthfully and calmly.

    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    can he be ordered to seek mental evaluation and treatment,

    That isn’t going to happen as part of the TPO.

    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    should I bring witnesses,.

    If anyone but your minor child witnessed the violence or threats, I would say yes, absolutely bring them. Putting your minor child on the stand against their father would be poor form.

    Quote:

    Quoting podster123
    View Post
    and any other advice you could provide that would help. I do have an attorney but was unable to reach him last week to ask him these questions. My son witnessed the violence in one incident, I did not report it but did document this and have transcribed statements from my husband, son, and son's friend describing in their own words what happened. Should I bring this up because I was told that if my son witnessed violence it could result in child abuse charges against me. I thank you in advance for your help.

    Have you contacted the Georgia Domestic Violence hotline? The line is open 24/7 and the number is 1-800-33-HAVEN. The can refer you to the nearest local DV shelter or outreach center, where you can services that include some legal information. You do not have to need shelter to access the services they can provide. This often includes an advocate to accompany you to court for the restraining order even if you will have an attorney present.

    Regarding your attorney, attorneys are trained in the law. Very few have any domestic violence training. So, while they are skilled at the legal aspect of obtaining the TPO, many are completely unaware of the risk factors of domestic violence. I wouldn't use my doctor to do my taxes, nor my CPA to check my heart. Both are smart, but they are an expert in their own fields. Domestic violence advocates are experts in domestic violence. So that is where you should seek advice for your safety.

    If you are scared then take precaution. That level of caution you exercise however, should apply regardless of whether a TPO is granted. You have described an ex that is mentally unstable and not concerned with breaking the law or following court orders. Frankly, this is the type person on whom a TPO is least likely to be effective at deterring violence. You need to consider that TPOs while often useful are simply pieces of paper.

    I urge you to reach out to that number I gave you for some local help.

    Good luck.
  • 09-15-2012, 01:07 PM
    podster123
    Re: What Should I Expect in First Court Appearance
    Your advice is very reassuring, Drthyrd, and I am a person will actually listen to good advice and put it to use!! I have already ordered The Gift of Fear from Amazon. The other poster's replies were catty, mean-spirited and not worthy of an answer. I thank you for patiently reading my posts and answering my questions.
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:06 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.4
Copyright © 2023 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2004 - 2018 ExpertLaw.com, All Rights Reserved