Can a Stepparent Attend a Child's School Activities if the Mother Objects

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MN

Hello. My questions involves the Step-mom. She has been step-mom for two years now. I want to attend a school activity with my child and have some one-on-one time if EX won't be there. It is on my parenting day. We (ex and I) have joint 50/50 custody. The Ex says if step-mom wants to attend, she can attend (even if HE will not be there). I am always involved in school activities with my child. I allowed step mom to attend a few functions in the past but it caused some issues. So now, I am requesting she not attend. Ex says she can attend whether he is there or not. I can see her wanting to attend or I would say it was ok IF I was not able to go, but I am able to go. Also, since she has her own children (one at the same school) I do not know why she wouldn't want to be attending these functions with that child. I understand we have blended families, but shouldn't
EX and Step-mom respect my wishes for me to spend the time during a school activity with just my child? Or is step mom legally able to go to these activities against my wishes? I would not bring a third party if my ex requested against it?
Thank you for your time.

basically, you have no right to control another person's activities unless you are in control of the venue where the activities are being held. If this is a public school, I could attend and watch your child's activities at the school.

You have no obligation to allow the step parent to interact with your child though.

Your child will be aware you are snubbing the other adult and remember accordingly.

This is at a public school and it is an activity where you sit with your child and read a book and have breakfast together before school starts.
So I do not have to allow her to sit next to us or follow us around? I don't want to cause any problems, I just don't understand why I can't just spend one-on-one time with my child without having third party interference (especially if the EX won't even be there). I wouldn't go to my step child's school activity if the mom requested me not to so she could spend one-on-one time with her child? I don't care if step-mom goes and is with her own child; that is her right. But I want my own time alone with my child.....not my child, her and her child.

You do not have to allow the step parent to interact with your child. You cannot prevent the step parent from engaging in the general activity. That is controlled by the school.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not disagreeing with you or your desire to have some time with your child. I only caution you from attempting to control the other person in any way as you do not have that right.

If you are looking for a law that says a stepparent cannot attend a school event if the other parent doesn't want her to, you're not going to find one. It doesn't exist.

Sounds like it is time to have a sit down talk about co-parenting.

Ok. The activity is before school, on my parenting day. I want the child dropped off at my house in the AM before school, like any other day on my parenting day.
Ex says step-mom will take child to school THAT day because she will be attending this school activity too (with her own child) so she will just bring ours and we can all go together (without dad). I am requesting that since dad won't even be there, I want alone time: one-on-one time with my child at the school activity.
First--- legally, if he doesn't drop of the child at my house before school, like our order states, he is in contempt, right?
Second---Yes, she can be at the school with her own child, I don't care about that. BUT legally, I am not obligated to let her sit with me and my child (causing unwanted tension and stress). She has absolutely no legal ties to the child.
I don't know if it is a law I am looking for? I guess just to know if legally I am obligated to let her be a part of MY child's activity with us? She has caused problems in the past, and this is why I have started requesting she not attend certain activities.

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First--- legally, if he doesn't drop of the child at my house before school, like our order states, he is in contempt, right?

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only a court can actually find a person in contempt. Yes, it would be contrary to the order which could be a basis for contempt but I highly doubt a court would find anybody in contempt over this issue. The judge is going to see it as a squabble between the parents and most likely do nothing about it. He might even chastise you for going so far as to making somebody bring your child to your house when you were simply going to leave there and go to the same place the step parent wants to take the child.

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Second---Yes, she can be at the school with her own child, I don't care about that. BUT legally, I am not obligated to let her sit with me and my child (causing unwanted tension and stress). She has absolutely no legal ties to the child.

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legally obligated to allow it? You are not listening; you do not have the legal right to control the step parent. It is up to the school and I would suggest you do not make a scene at the school lest you may be asked to not come back. You can prevent the step from interacting with your child but that is where your rights of control end.

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I guess just to know if legally I am obligated to let her be a part of MY child's activity with us?

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No. She has no right to be a part of specifically your daughters activity but she does have a right to be there unless the school says otherwise. You do not have to allow your daughter to interact with the person but you cannot say where the step parent walks or sits.

Thank you. It really does help when you help lay it out like that jk.

I know it seems petty and ridiculous but boundaries have been crossed so many times now.
I appreciate the responses.