Psychological Father vs Biological Father

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New Jersey

Hello,

I was found to be the psycological father of my 7 year old son. I was there for his birth, my name is on his birth certificate an I have raised him ever since. I did not find out that I was not the biological father until he was almost 4.

The mother has been out of the picture and chooses not to be a part of his life. The biological father was absent for the first 6.5 years. He just came crashing back into the scene about 6 months ago. He filed for custody last month and was denied. The judge recognized that I was found to be the psychological father by a well respected expert and that the biological father has made no attempts to be a part of the child's life for the first 6+ years.

My question is: Can I relax now that i won the custody case? I have been under a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety at the thought of losing my son. After losing, the biological father still keeps threatening me that it is not over and his new lawyer is going to change things. He keeps telling me that i am on "borrowed time". Should I be worried or is he full of you know what? (he seems to talk a lot of nonsense) I love my son very much and it would be nice to have piece of mind and get on with our lives. Can I let my guard down now?

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Sincerely,

Mark

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Quoting Psychologicalfather

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New Jersey

Hello,

I was found to be the psycological father of my 7 year old son. I was there for his birth, my name is on his birth certificate an I have raised him ever since. I did not find out that I was not the biological father until he was almost 4.

The mother has been out of the picture and chooses not to be a part of his life. The biological father was absent for the first 6.5 years. He just came crashing back into the scene about 6 months ago. He filed for custody last month and was denied. The judge recognized that I was found to be the psychological father by a well respected expert and that the biological father has made no attempts to be a part of the child's life for the first 6+ years.

My question is: Can I relax now that i won the custody case? I have been under a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety at the thought of losing my son. After losing, the biological father still keeps threatening me that it is not over and his new lawyer is going to change things. He keeps telling me that i am on "borrowed time". Should I be worried or is he full of you know what? (he seems to talk a lot of nonsense) I love my son very much and it would be nice to have piece of mind and get on with our lives. Can I let my guard down now?

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Sincerely,

Mark

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This is kind of a duplicate post since you also posted this scenario in the child support forum, from a completely different point of view. Go read my response there, but also keep in mind that the biological father does have the right to appeal the current ruling. Go read my response there and imagine how the biological father might be motivated to appeal...or press forward with visitation with the ultimate goal of eventually obtaining custody.

Honestly, either you are dad all the way with the ultimate goal of a legal adoption, or you are only dad part of the way and therefore have the risks associated with that.

I completely disagree with the above response.

The biological father cannot appeal simply because he doesn't like the ruling - there needs to be an error of law.

It's a done deal - OP has CUSTODY. In order for that to change, there MUST be a CoC (change of circumstance), AND it must be shown that the CoC means the child would be better off elsewhere. Dad contributing the DNA doesn't give him any edge - what. so. ever.

He'll get visitation, for sure, if he petitions. But he's not going to get custody simply because he is the biological father.

I strongly disagree with the notion that it's an all or nothing thing. I've got no clue where you're going with that.

Sorry, when I began I had two separate questions and tried to ask them separately in the appropriate forums. I did not realize how intertwined that they would become. I apologize. The child support question was one of curiosity. Consider it dead. This is the question that really truely matters to me.

If he does appeal, will the case be heard by the same judge? Is there a good chance that he can win and take my son from me? Or are we just talking about an appeal for visitation?

He can file for visitation, absolutely.

He'll get it unless there's something terribly amiss that you haven't mentioned.

Quick question though - WHEN was custody decided?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I completely disagree with the above response.

The biological father cannot appeal simply because he doesn't like the ruling - there needs to be an error of law.

It's a done deal - OP has CUSTODY. In order for that to change, there MUST be a CoC (change of circumstance), AND it must be shown that the CoC means the child would be better off elsewhere. Dad contributing the DNA doesn't give him any edge - what. so. ever.

He'll get visitation, for sure, if he petitions. But he's not going to get custody simply because he is the biological father.

I strongly disagree with the notion that it's an all or nothing thing. I've got no clue where you're going with that.

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Thankyou for the response Dogmatique. Once again, I'm sorry that this discussion got going in two separate threads. Lesson learned. I had the best of intentions when placing them in separate categories.

I have tears in my eyes from reading that. It's been a long hard road and I fought with all my heart to keep my son. I needed to hear that. I understand that he can file for visitation. I have no issues with that as long as I know it will be in a controlled and safe environment. Thank you do much for your input. I know there may be different opinions but hearing yours did more for me than you'll ever know.

It's absolutely okay! It really is!

Just so we can put this to bed, how long ago was the custody order made? Is it in fact 6 months?

Custody was decided on July 13, 2012

Okay, for ease let's keep it all in this thread. We can let the other go, k?

Right - that's still quite a new custody order. If Dad tries to appeal - and given that he's been AWOL for virtually the child's entire life I cannot see him being successful although there are never any guarantees - please come back and let us know on this thread.

Again, and please remember this, he cannot appeal just because he doesn't like the result. There needs to be an error of law.

Go and spend some time with your son. We'll still be here in the morning, and he deserves your time way more than we do :)

Yes, we'll let the other thread go. I will be sure to keep you updated. Thanks again for you time and help. I can't say it enough!

Off to watch a movie with my son! Have a great night :)