Custody, Visitation, and Out of State Parent

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Quoting flowertearz

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Money is a major concern. I'm just trying to get some incite on the whole process. Child support for two kids is putting a toll on him finniacally. To get a lawyer to do "more research" is going to cost him and the outcome might not even be to his liking. It's emotionally draining especially when he can't even get in contact with the mother of his children. I want to learn about this so i can point him in the right direction and so he knows what to expect when talking with a lawyer. The more u dont know the more a lawyer will charge for their services.

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I just love the bolded part. So if the outcome is not to dad's liking, then he is going to do nothing? From what you have posted here, I got news, this is not ever going to come to dads liking. Way to late for that, by him sitting around and doing nothing, making every excuse he can, blaming mom, he has made huge mistakes and a really big mess for himself. There is no way this will ever come out to his liking. Just what is his liking for the outcome of this?

Dad has never established his rights, dad has had no contact with the children for some time, mom has moved to another state creating a long distance parenting situation, dad does not even know which state has jurisdiction.

Reality check for you and dad. Dad was 24 when he had sex with a girl, dad is now 27, plenty old enough to understand that sex with or without protection, can produce babies. Dad is old enough to understand that he has no rights telling the girl to abort or keep those babies he makes(at least not at this time in this country). Dad is old enough to understand that once a baby is made, and once that baby is born, he is responsible for that baby at least till the child is 18. Dad was old enough to be considered an adult at 24 by every state in this country, and there are no excuses for dads lack of responsibility in this situation.

As an adult, dad has always had the right to establish his rights. As an adult dad has always been capable of finding out what his rights are. As a young adult, he grew up in the tech world, dad is well aware, that a few minutes on google you can find just about any answer you need.

All dad ever had to do was walk on down to the court house, fill out the motions, file those motions and pay those motion fees, and then show up to the court date.

Have you looked into pro bono attorneys? It's worth a try and good luck.

For Massachusetts: http://apps.americanbar.org/legalser...achusetts.html
For Georgia: http://apps.americanbar.org/legalser...y/georgia.html

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Quoting flowertearz

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Money is a major concern. I'm just trying to get some incite on the whole process. Child support for two kids is putting a toll on him finniacally. To get a lawyer to do "more research" is going to cost him and the outcome might not even be to his liking. It's emotionally draining especially when he can't even get in contact with the mother of his children. I want to learn about this so i can point him in the right direction and so he knows what to expect when talking with a lawyer. The more u dont know the more a lawyer will charge for their services.

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This might seem like a difficult question, but it's one to be considered.

You say that Dad is struggling financially already. If he seeks out visitation, is he aware that he's going to be - in all likelihood - responsible for all transportation costs?

How's he going to afford that?

What EXACTLY does Dad want? What would he "like"?

@Gam; when I said not to his liking i meant that what if the mother tries and fights to not to give him visitation=More $. What if the mother doesnt even pick up his phone calls he has to find a lawyer to find her=more $. One person he knows spent $20,000 just to get visitation rights. No way in hell he could afford that right now. *He is working two jobs so he can pay child support because that's all he can do right now. He doesn't regret the children he just wishes it had worked out between him andt he mother. He doesnt "blame" her but he does think she is trying her hardest not to have him in their lives, which for her isnt a big deal because she grew up in a single parent household. For him, having two loving parent, this idea is upsurd. *Going into the abortion, SHE decided to have the kids because they were TWINS (aww how precious twins!). He took *RESPONSIBILITY to be there for her and the twins so there was no need to establish anything at the being(marriage being postponed because diapers for two add up) *because he was their for her and the kids at the beginning up until SHE decided to move out and living in her friend's living room!! No one could have predicted the outcome. And yes there is google but the vast about of information needs to be sorted through and law jargon has to be deciphered and we can absolutely trust everything off the internet right?

@etoy; thanks we will look into this

@domatique; yes he realizes visits to another state will also cost $ but the first concern is getting those visitation rights. *He just wants to see his kids. He was always been their for them from the beginning. The mother and the father are both bitter towards each other but each just want what is best for their children. The mother stayed around because she had no one else to help her support the kids when they were born. Her mom wasnt anywhere in the picture after she gave birth. That's why they ended up in TN with his parents. She didn't like it there so they all moved back to atlanta, father included. They couldnt work out their differences and she met some other guy at a club one night and moved out to live in a living room with the two kids. This is when she filed for child support bc she's couldn't afford to support two children. She's going around trying to act all tough being a single mother acting like the father was never there and she raised them sole. Even then child support isnt enough that's why she moved to another state to live with a new boyfriend so he could help support them.**
The father just wants to be a part of his childrens lives. He has to keep up with child support firstly. He did consult a lawyer at first but had no money to do anything. Of course the lawyer didnt give him any helpful information- where to find this formo to file yourself, all this information on legitimation and custody/visitation rights. Moving to MA is an option for his/ our future, but all that will take time. Having two jobs he can't even go for interviews and i can see he is getting burnt out but that's what he needs to get the $ for a lawyer.

I'm not here to look for*criticism, just information. It might seem as easy as 1-2-3. But it's not. Life is full of obstacles one just has to jump over, go around, build something to get to the other side... *Some people are better a building things and some people just learn how to jump higher. *

So another question, I*found forms for legitimation in GA off that website I posted earlier but I also found one for a particular county which looks different. *Are you suppose to file in the county or with the state? Any helpful information is appreciated.*

Do you know mom? Did you know mom and dad when they were together? Where are you getting the information about mom from and how this all went down?

See in all of your posts, the blame is pointed to mom, mom is always at fault and your coming up with reasons why mom did this and that. For example, to mom it's no big deal she grew up in a single household. How do you know that is how mom sees it? You also painted dad as so good, by saying for dad he grew up in a loving 2 parent household and having his kids in a split situation is just absurb.

It matters none what mom is doing or what she has done, or her motives behind it. What matters is for dad to accept his own blame in this, for dad to stop blaming mom, for dad to get off his butt and fix the mistakes he has made to this point. The children will not accept these excuses, the finger pointing all the blame to mom, the oh mom made it so difficult, stressful and impossible.

To much energy wasted on mom here, no energy used by dad to fix the mess that has been made. I'm not knocking dad, but I have seen this story over and over, and the outlook is poor for dad if he continues in this way.

If mom is as you say, if mom is doing all this to shut dad out, then dad either better hit the lottery or learn how to do all of this with no lawyer. It all can be done by using the internet. You have to wade through it, sort it out, mistakes will be made, but mistakes can be fixed to. It's even possible to turn the whole situation around and to end up with a co-parenting situation, even when one parent is extremely difficult.

Dad absolutely needs to figure out which state has jurisdiction before he can file anything, before you can sit online finding forms. Don't waste his or your money by buying forms, they can be had for free, either online or through the court house he needs to file in. He has a tough situation now, it's now a long distance situation.

Once you find out which state has jurisdiction, then you can google away to find all laws on custody/parenting time/child support and how to establish those. Once you find the state, you can then find the court in that state that will have jurisdiction, many courts have their own specific forms and rules on top of what the state has. Once you find that court, you then can get the forms and file to begin this.

You can then google, long distance plans, you can then google airline carriers that have flights to and from each parents state. You can then google what the airline rules are for children flying alone. You can then google what details should be included in long distance plans, specially when dealing with difficult parents. Always best to get a detailed plan when dealing with difficult parents, even better to have a detailed plan when dealing with long distance situations. Keeps you out of court when common problems occur, hard to do court, when it is in another state.

You can then also google the process ahead of time, for contempt of the order problems and learn how to file contempt, as it may be needed when dealing with a difficult parent.

Dad faces a tough road, because he did just sit on this, mom has moved out of state. It's to late to fix that, he will now have a long distance plan, he will now most likely be responsible for at least half of the transportation costs for his parenting time, he may be responsible for it all. Court most likely will now be in another state, added costs for that. He has not had contact with his YOUNG CHILDREN for some time here, a court could make a re-introduction plan to start and based on those childrens ages, that will happen in those childrens state. He will have a difficult time being a day to day hands on parent and staying involved with very much depend on mom providing him information or him seeking out that information himself.

First step, find out which state has jurisdiction, cause dad can't do anything until he knows that. No one on any forum can help you until you know where jurisdiction is. You can call the court that his CS order is out of, and see if mom updated her address with them. You can find lots of information on someone on the internet, facebook is often very helpful in locating someone who does not want you to find them. Most often they forget that many people have public profiles and they post on those pages. Dad absolutely needs to know which state has jurisdiction and which court in that state has jurisdiction in order to file. Filing in the wrong state, the wrong court, will only cost more money and time.

Really not much more anyone can help you with at this time, until you have that jurisdiction question solved.

Apologies in advance if I missed this - but OP, how long have you been "involved" with Dad?

Yes i am partially biased but I am not putting all the blame on the mother. I realize the father made some bad choices but so did the mother by having two kids and noone but a bf to support her. *I don't know her personally but i do have mutual friends. I do know the mother's mom was not a good parent. That's why she was out -not technically -"on the streets" but living with the bf at the time. And after the fact living in her friends living room with two infants. *I know some of her friends disliked the bf and some of them discussed her descison to abort or not, and yes it is ultimately HER decision. My personal opinion it was not the right one seeing as she is going from man to man relying them to support her and the kids. *Yes the woman is always the one pictured as the good one and the man is the one not putting any effort, this isnt always the case. Blahblahblah
But we arent here to play the blame game nor paint each others picture.*
We are here for information.*
So yes we need to determine where to file what. And which forms to obtain from where. *The father is trying to fix his mistakes but one thing he cant change is the mothers decision to not be with the father so his children can have a two parent family. I just pray for the kids sake that the new bf is willing to be a good father to these kids that arent his. Because if it doesnt guess where/ who does she have to turn to? To go back too? *

That tells us a lot.

Tell Dad to consult an attorney.