Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TX and La

My order is out of TX but my daughter and I live in LA for the last two plus years. We have been in court for child support contempt and he is going for full custody for the last year and half. My daughter began visiting with ex at the end of December. So she has been steadily going over there for about seven months. Well before summer began I suspected that my daughter was calling dad's gf mommy. During a phone conversation with my daughter I heard them refer to the gf as mommy to my daughter and it is becomming more noticable now that she is calling her mommy. I asked my daughter if she was and in fact she is. It if very hurtful to hear some of the things they say about me over there ( dad says to daughter that I have a dirty house, dont take care of her, things like that. The son over there says things like I am fat and ugly and that I tell my daughter to do stuff or I will kill myself) to my daughter but to now know that they are encouraging her to call dad's gf mommy!!! This is very damaging to me and my daughter's relationship! My daughter says she wants to call her that but of course she does after months of encouraging and coaxing from dad and family over there. My daughter is six years old and will know what she is taught. She does have enough respect to not call her mommy in front of me and that same respect, I feel, should be encouraged over there.

My question is... Can I have it put into the order that any gf or new wife or bf or new husband not be called our titles? Meaning any gf or wife of his not to be called mommy, mom, mama, ext. and same for me?

Any thoughts and opinons are very much appreciated!

I would think you and Dad would grow up.

Perhaps your daughter feels comfortable with the step-mom she spends a lot of time with? It's not a bad thing for a child to have two mom's. If you remarried, she may even call your new husband "daddy".

Unless the new spouse has adopted the child or the REAL parent has no problem with it, then the child should not be calling anyone else mommy/daddy.

If you have a lawyer ask him to put something in your court papers about it, but I'm not sure how that can even be upheld. If it were me I would sit my child down and explain that it's not okay to call anyone else mommy. That you are her only mom. While it's okay to like dad's g/f, that doesn't make her your mom and you shouldn't call her anything but her name.

I call my stepmom, mom. I call my mom, mom. I'm their daughter.

There's been nothing remotely traumatizing to anyone. In fact, I'm almost 40

That may be so in YOUR case, but in this case mom obviously doesn't want that happening. I don't know many moms that would want their kids calling someone else mom. Dad/gf should have a little respect for mom, I'm sure dad wouldn't like it if roles were reversed.

I'm more curious as to why the kids are obviously being quizzed about what happens elsewhere.

Because that's the best way to find stuff to worry about.

How would you enforce such an order? Wire the kid to see how many times they coax her to say mommy and then take it to court?

I am a single mother and have had sole custody since age 2 she is now 7. The father was absent in her life for four years... for what reason exactly I dont know. He is here now though, but is going for full custody after the state filed contempt for no child support.. 17K. I would actually consider it being ok that she call her mommy if they where married and if they where not trying to win her over for court. They say bad things about me over there to my daughter and its been very hard on her and I. Daddy's gf has only been in my daughters life for about 7 months, which is a long time to her, but not to me and that is why I am the parent. Anyway daddy has 2 ex wifes and 3 baby mama's. This gf he has, if they get married, will be wife #3. He has had his other child whom he does have custody of call 4 different woman mommy. ( the boys mom was a crack head, sad ) Our daughter lives with me full time and we are very close, and I feel that this calling the gf mommy is a very bad thing for my daughter. I do not quiz my child either it took me a few months just to notice them refering to her as mommy, and I simply asked her. I then had a talk with her and let her know that it is not ok for her to call her mommy. I explained that if her dad and gf do get married then she would be her step mom. I told her I know she loves gf and that she is a special person to her and that is ok. And all the things I said she told me before was her comming to me... I didnt ask her about those things, and when she does come to me with it I listen to her and how she feels and validate what she is feeling, I never comment on her father or family for what she tells me they say. I am dealing with parental alienation here and the best thing for me to do is be here for my daughter and show her ( not tell her ) that the things they say are not true. I have a step father myself and never called him dad, although I saw him as my dad. I called him by name out of respect and love for my real dad. Yes, dad should show our daughter and myself a bit more respect. And if the tables where turned daddy would not like it at all if she was calling somebody else daddy, especially a man she would spend more time with. Personally I think I am being as mature as possible about this. Anyway thank you for your replys and I will definately speak with my attorney about it, even if it will be hard to uphold.

Distressedmom, one day she will be old enough to see the truth. The order will be there to protect her, if they choose not to follow it, Im not going to hunt them down or wire my child. But if while in counsling it is discovered this is causeing her problems then he will be held acountable by the court order. Taking it to court is not the objective, it would be to discourage the behavior.

So parenting is about feelings...... got it.

You really think your daughter understands why Dad's new piece might be "stepMOM", but she's not allowed to call her Mom?

Really?

Its obvious the child has been told to call the gf mommy. What kid that has had mommy in their life since birth just randomly starts calling another woman mommy? Not likely. My son's father is remarried and he calls his wife ms. june and probably couldnt be coaxed into calling her mommy anyway. I can hear him telling her, 'but I have a mom' or 'but you're not my real mom'. Encouraging children to call step parents mom or dad and making disparaging remarks about the other parent to or around the child is frowned upon in my state . My bf is going after his bm for court ordered visitation and obvious parental alienation and those things are on the list of don'ts. It's worth looking into but remember at the end of the day your daughter knows who you are to her.

Are you kidding me?

Holy hannah, ALL of my grandkids have called me, their Aunty, two sets of great-grandmothers, and various random femaled "Mommy" at some point, completely unrehearsed and uncoached, and spontaneously.

And really - you are referring to the MOTHER of your boyfriend's child/ren as "biomom" and you're accusing HER of alienation? That takes some cojones, lady.

Dogmatique you seem to have a negative point of view about everything. New 'peice' ?? Yea step-MOM is the key word. I dont mind her calling her step-mom once they are married but not my title, mommy. She is already showing confusion on who has what title in the family, calling them other titles than which she has known them by her whole life. It is not only that I dont like her calling her mommy, its the fact it is damaging to our relationship, her emotional well being, and view of what respect is.

And thank you formychildren!

You create your own parental alienation with children, not simple titles. The child will grow into the difference. How are we to know you will ever be more than mother, while dads piece may, over the years, earn the title mom.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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Can I have it put into the order that any gf or new wife or bf or new husband not be called our titles? Meaning any gf or wife of his not to be called mommy, mom, mama, ext. and same for me?

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You can ask. Getting can be more complicated. Some judges will be much more receptive to that kind of motion than others.

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Quoting eepk

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If you have a lawyer ask him to put something in your court papers about it, but I'm not sure how that can even be upheld.

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And that can be quite a problem, with parents grilling small children, "You just said 'mommy' when you meant her - did your dad make you do that?" Potentially trying to prove in court that a small child's slip of the tongue is the basis for a contempt charge....

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Quoting eepk

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If it were me I would sit my child down and explain that it's not okay to call anyone else mommy. That you are her only mom. While it's okay to like dad's g/f, that doesn't make her your mom and you shouldn't call her anything but her name.

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Actually, the aggrieved parent should talk to the other parent and come to an agreement with the other parent. It is not appropriate to put the child in the middle. "Mommy says she's my only real mother and that I can't call you anything but 'Susan'".

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Quoting eepk

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Dad/gf should have a little respect for mom, I'm sure dad wouldn't like it if roles were reversed.

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Perhaps not, but sometimes being a good parent means putting up with stuff you don't like, and that can include the manner in which a child bonds with and relates to your ex's S.O. or spouse.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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The father was absent in her life for four years... for what reason exactly I dont know.

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You've been in custody litigation for 18 months, after a four year absence, and you haven't yet asked why he was absent?

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Quoting worriedmommy

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And all the things I said she told me before was her comming to me... I didnt ask her about those things....

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You previously told us the opposite:

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Quoting worriedmommy

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During a phone conversation with my daughter I heard them refer to the gf as mommy to my daughter and it is becomming more noticable now that she is calling her mommy. I asked my daughter if she was and in fact she is.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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But if while in counsling it is discovered this is causeing her problems then he will be held acountable by the court order.

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If you create the distress first by turning this into an issue, and making your daughter guard her words and feel guilty about what she calls her father's S.O., you need to bear your share of the responsibility for any problems that result. From what you've told us so far, up to the point you confronted your daughter and told her not to call her father's S.O. "mom", you were the only one who had a problem with this. You've made no claim that the father put any pressure on the child, or told her "Call my S.O. 'mom'", and if this was something the child started to do spontaneously it can be awkward for the father to address without putting the child in the middle, even if he would prefer that his S.O. be called something other than mom.

If you are telling us that your daughter is in counseling, or there is some form of family counseling relating to the divorce and custody situation, it seems like the first place to discuss these issues would be with the counselor, when the child is not present.

Oh he has told me his story of why he was absent. He says that he didnt know where I lived, but I have e-mails from him and letters to my daughter sent from him to her at my address. He never gave me his new address or numb. all I had was an e-mail that he quit communicating to me through every since he quit his job. I tried to get him to visit and have documentation of this. But he will carry this lie to his grave. So the real reason behind him not visiting.. I really don't know, I could only assume and I would rather just let it go.

I did not previously say the opposite. When I said "And all the things I said she told me before was her comming to me... I didnt ask her about those things.... "things" , meaning the statements I mentioned before stating that I asked her if she was calling her mommy.

However I do understand your point about putting the child in the middle and I don't want to do that to my daughter. I however did already talk with her about it. I do not want to make her feel like she has to gaurd her words. I will bring it up in the next counsling session and have a talk with dad about it also. My daughter has always called her by name when around me, I have never heard her call her that. But when she calls to his house dad or brother over there will say "Do you want to talk to mommy?" The son over there calls her mom so its intentionaly intended for her. I am not going to lie it is very painful to hear them refer to her as my title, but regardless to avoid contributing to the hell my daughter is going through I will talk to the counsler about an issue I have before reacting to it.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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But when she calls to his house dad or brother over there will say "Do you want to talk to mommy?" The son over there calls her mom so its intentionaly intended for her. I am not going to lie it is very painful to hear them refer to her as my title, but regardless to avoid contributing to the hell my daughter is going through I will talk to the counsler about an issue I have before reacting to it.

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Umm....you are already reacting to it. Overreacting actually. Is the brother yours as well? If not, why would you expect him to refer to his mother by anything but mom, mommy, mother, etc.. If he is yours, why are you okay with him using mom but not your daughter? It would be asinine to expect him to tailor his parental references for your daughter. Heck, an argument could be made that having your daughter be the only one to refer to "mom" by her name would be highly disruptive for any other kids in the house. Maybe your child is simply following the lead of the other child(ren) in that they call her mom? She might refer to her by her proper name in your presence because around you, you are mom. Or perhaps because she knows you prefer it that way?

As for your harping about step-mom being okay if they get married: It is 2012. Not all parents get married ya know so technically, if not legally, step-mom or mom would be okay for any committed relationship.

I am reading this and see the disrespect. She is not "mommy". She is not "mom". She is not "step-mom". She is not M.O.M. (my other mom -- which by the way, I am disgusted that some people even try to use that term). If bio-mom does not want anyone else with her "title", then the bio-dad and this other lady SHOULD respect her wishes. Obviously they are disrespectful. Honestly, even if the child will not or does not call her "mommy or m.o.m.", if this other woman refers to herself as "m.o.m. or mommy", you know she has some major issues because SHE IS NOT MOM. Especially knowing that the child already has her mom in her life. I am sorry but I agree, there is only one mom. Even "step-mom"s can go away, divorce, etc and then where does that leave the child? Huh... well, she called herself my "m.o.m." but now she wants nothing to do with me because her and my dad divorced........ I really do wish people would just be respectful of the true bio-parent's wishes when it comes to titles. The children just get confused. PS. I'm maybe more sensitive to this because I have had to go through this twice already with "calling someone else mom" and then the so-called "mom" is suddenly not there and has no more contact with my children. You would think after the 2nd or 3rd marriage people would get a clue and just have kids call them by their name (NOT mom).

free9man, yea, isnt that what I just admitted to... I dont think I am overreacting, but I admit there may have been better way to approach the situation. Beat me up all you want Im not perfect but I am willing to learn. And actually the brother at her dads is dad's son by a whole nother woman. This gf of dads is not even his mom. I have one kid from one marrage.

Chede, thank you for your post. I still do not agree with the idea for some of the same reasons. The son that is over there used to be my step son and he in fact called me mommy too. When I left it was heart breaking I couldnt have him with me and ex wouldnt let me visit him either, I can only imagine how this made him feel, affecting the rest of his life. This ex of mine is very abusive and it is very possible that may be the reason they havnt gotten married yet.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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. The son that is over there used to be my step son and he in fact called me mommy too. When I left it was heart breaking I couldnt have him with me and ex wouldnt let me visit him either, I can only imagine how this made him feel, affecting the rest of his life.

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Mommy, I was for the most part on the same page with you until I read this. I do agree that calling girlfriend mom is not okay, and that you have every right to your position on that. However, if you once went along with calling yourself mom to a child that was not yours, I could see dad not being very understanding about you being upset over something you yourself once took part in.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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free9man, yea, isnt that what I just admitted to... I dont think I am overreacting, but I admit there may have been better way to approach the situation. Beat me up all you want Im not perfect but I am willing to learn. And actually the brother at her dads is dad's son by a whole nother woman. This gf of dads is not even his mom. I have one kid from one marrage.

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So again, I will ask you: How do you expect the boy to refer to his mother? He can't tailor it and expecting him to is unreasonable. I'm not beating you up, just a latecomer to the "trying to get you to think and act reasonably" party.

This is Diss's stepdaughter,
I just wanted to weigh in. Quite honestly, as far as I'm concerned, I have two dads. I was 2 when my mother and father divorced. My mother remarried when I was 4. Forcing a child to not call someone she recognizes as a mother figure would honestly be more damaging to both your relationship with her and her psyche. You would be forcing her to only understand "mother" as the woman who gave birth to her, as opposed to a woman who cares for and loves her. This would also be saying that an adopted child couldn't call their adoptive parents mom and dad then? Also as mentioned before, wouldn't you hope she called your new boyfriend "dad"? You're getting too worked up over a word. What is important is the role and being there for her. Be the bigger person. So what if your ex is saying that stuff? The custody agreement SHOULD say something about either parent speaking ill of the other. If not, you could possibly pursue this if you wished. Your daughter should be allowed to call whoever she wants mom, or mommy though. That is not your choice to decide.

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Quoting free9man

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So again, I will ask you: How do you expect the boy to refer to his mother? He can't tailor it and expecting him to is unreasonable. I'm not beating you up, just a latecomer to the "trying to get you to think and act reasonably" party.

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I understand I made that mistake this was over six years ago, and I learned a big lesson from allowing that to happen. I thought that we would both learn a lesson from that, but maybe not, idk havent talked to him yet. But the son over there isn't even my child nor is he the gf child so I have no say what he should call her. But if he was my child he would not be calling dad's gf mom. I am trying to keep an open mind about all of this for the sake of my daughter, but really in the back of my head is...

My ex had his son call me mommy, yes I went along with it ( I did have plans to be there for him just like a mommy), yes it was wrong, and that is one of the reason I have this point of view about my daughter calling the gf mommy. Ex also had son call 3 other woman in his life mommy, none of which was his mother. Ex tells his son that his real mother died which in fact she is still alive. I really think my ex plans on trying to replace me (mommy) with the gf because he feels his gf is a better mother than I am. He is very bitter towards me. Like I have said before I have made my mistakes, God didn't make me perfect, but I am learning from my mistakes. I am very sorry how what ex and I have done has affected his son. But we pick up the peices move on and try something different in the future.

"The boy" can call dads gf whatever he wants, but telling my daughter that gf is also her mommy. He is not saying mom, he is telling her that is her mommy. And I know from experience how they are coaxing her to call her mommy.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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"The boy" can call dads gf whatever he wants, but telling my daughter that gf is also her mommy. He is not saying mom, he is telling her that is her mommy. And I know from experience how they are coaxing her to call her mommy.

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You stated that he says "Do you want to talk to mommy?" That is NOT telling her she is her mommy. That is NOT coaxing her to her call mommy. That is a child, that for whatever reason identifies the woman as mommy, calling her mommy. Nothing more, nothing less. He is not going to say "Do you want to talk to Mary?"

So again, quit dodging the question and answer it: How do you expect a child to handle that situation? How should he refer to the person he calls mommy when talking to your sprout?

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Quoting worriedmommy

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My ex had his son call me mommy, yes I went along with it ( I did have plans to be there for him just like a mommy), yes it was wrong, and that is one of the reason I have this point of view about my daughter calling the gf mommy. Ex also had son call 3 other woman in his life mommy, none of which was his mother. Ex tells his son that his real mother died which in fact she is still alive. I really think my ex plans on trying to replace me (mommy) with the gf because he feels his gf is a better mother than I am. He is very bitter towards me. Like I have said before I have made my mistakes, God didn't make me perfect, but I am learning from my mistakes. I am very sorry how what ex and I have done has affected his son. But we pick up the peices move on and try something different in the future.

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I do understand your point of view, truly. I am not going to defend dad at all on this. I'm a bit shocked by how many here are doing so. I think what dad is doing is wrong, whether or not his intentions are bad (which I don't know). But I do think that this aspect is just one more thing that's going to make this difficult to fight. You have to consider dad's point of view is going to be less sympathetic to you because of it.

Unfortunately, this is not really a battle that can be fought in a court room. IT IS WRONG, but not something a judge can easily fix. A judge may be willing to add stipulations to your order about it, but the judge cannot control what comes out of his, the gf, and the child's mouth at every moment. This is really something that you'll, for the most part at least, fight yourself by talking to your child. Eventually the child usually develops the right understanding in their mind, but you will have to be supporting that proper understanding in your home.

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Quoting free9man

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You stated that he says "Do you want to talk to mommy?" That is NOT telling her she is her mommy. That is NOT coaxing her to her call mommy. That is a child, that for whatever reason identifies the woman as mommy, calling her mommy. Nothing more, nothing less. He is not going to say "Do you want to talk to Mary?"

So again, quit dodging the question and answer it: How do you expect a child to handle that situation? How should he refer to the person he calls mommy when talking to your sprout?

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Actually the boy does not call her mommy he calls her mom, not mommy not mary not mama, he calls her mom. He asked do you want to talk to mommy and then turning around to call her over and shouted mom. Its obvious his natural name to call her is mom not mommy. And to answer your question which is different than before. I don't expect the boy to do anything, the "Parents" over there should of already let it be known that is not the gf's title for me and ex's child.

Thank you FatherWhoWon for you post! It was nice to get some different points of views, but now I am tired. lol Anyway I think I will leave it out of the courts, my daughter and I are in counsling and we will work through this hopefully with the help of ex and his family over there. I will be sure to let ex know I may not be single forever and to put himself in my shoes, the tables could turn.

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Quoting worriedmommy

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Actually the boy does not call her mommy he calls her mom, not mommy not mary not mama, he calls her mom. He asked do you want to talk to mommy and then turning around to call her over and shouted mom. Its obvious his natural name to call her is mom not mommy. And to answer your question which is different than before. I don't expect the boy to do anything, the "Parents" over there should of already let it be known that is not the gf's title for me and ex's child.

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The second part was the same, how do you think he should refer to her? I simply asked in the wrong order. Stop being thick. How the bloody hell is him calling her mommy in one instance and mom in another coaxing your daughter? Explain that. Please. So what do you want out of all that garbage? Even if the parents say " She is not Sprout's mom(my)", that will NOT stop him from referring to her in a maternal way. Expecting them to tell a CHILD to refer to his maternal figure by her first name to another CHILD is asinine.

You say you don't want to put your daughter in the middle of it....YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT!

You had a boyfriends son that called you Mommy? And that was ok. But when your child calls dad's girlfriend "mommy" - it is not ok. You're a hypocrite. You could have told the child how you preferred to be addressed.

WorriedMom....having read all your posts....you are setting a bad example for your child. Putting your kid in the middle of everything....your kid is going to grow up walking on eggshells. Watch what I say or Mommy will freak out. If Dad wants to go on vacation, don't tell mom or she'll freak out. If dad gets married and I am asked to participate in the wedding, mom will be freaking out and running to her lawyer.....

What you are doing is actually emotionally abusive to your child.

Seriously.

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I'd like to add.....when a kid gets pulled in two different directions.....eventually, that child will rebel. And it will not be in the direction you want. When your child is older, she can tell the judge "I want to live with my daddy full time" and explain why. And when you tell her "no", she will rebel.......

My son's mother disappeared for almost two years. During that time, I met my wife. At some point, my son asked if he could call my wife "mommy" and we agreed that it was fine, especially since his mother was not around. My ex reappeared and is back in my son's life every other weekend, but my son still calls both of them mom/mommy. My ex doesn't like it one bit, but the way we see it is that my son has two moms and that's okay. He knows which one is his "real" mom. But my wife does the day-to-day mom stuff and I think he truly does see her as a mother figure.

I know this is a different scenario but my point is that it's better for the child if you can manage to put your jealousy aside. It does no one any good to make issues of these kinds of things. It causes drama between the parents, between the parents and their new partners, and between the parents and the child(ren). My advice to you: choose your battles.

Best of luck.

Your ex doesn't like it? And you still let him call her Mommy? Do you realize what can happen?

You have NO BUSINESS alienating your child's MOTHER in that manner.

It's one thing if Mom agrees to your child calling your latest wife Mom. But if she doesn't? You seriously need to correct your son. You can face legal problems, and if it goes on far enough? You can lose custody.

Think about it.

To pandora: Nobody is perfect and Im not a hypocrite. Poeple make mistakes and we either learn from them or continue on. I am not going to let just let that behavior go on just because I have done the same thing in the past. I saw the damage and and I do not have to let her experience that or I can at least try. I am on here, this forum, expressing my thoughts and trying to get different views and answers. Everything I say on here is not expressed to my daughter or ex or his family. I think letting my daughter know how I feel about her calling somebody else mommy is fair and truthful. And you do not know enough really to judge me or call me names and say how my child feels or is going to feel. She evedently feels comfortable talking to me about things and I dont see that changing. I dont think that a sincerely polite e-mail asking ex to notify me about my childs well being is 'freaking out'. On top of that I never expressed anything but positive things about her going on vacation. My actions to my ex, to my daughter, to his family are not contrued as 'freaking out'. Am I freaking out in my head, yea, maybe I am but who wouldnt when your treated like the enemy instead of the mother of my daughter.

And you can say "I " had boyfriends son call me mommy but that isnt entirely true, it was everybody not just me, and the boys mother wasn't there for him, and she also agreed with it. I am clearly very much involved in my daughters life, and I do not agree with it.

I am not speaking (or typing in this case) from the views of an expert in family law matters but rather from my own experience.

Worriedmommy, I know exactly how you feel as I wore your your shoes almost 3 years ago. Without going into a lot of details, my ex and I were locked in a lengthy and costly legal custody matter over our then 7 year old daughter. Like your ex, he encouraged our daughter to refer to his then girlfriend as "mommy." Furious, I shot off an email to my attorney asking her to demand an order from the judge prohibiting the ex from such behavior. Against her (attorney) better judgement, my concern was addressed in court and the judge literally scolded me for my pettiness and advised me to focus on the relevant matters at hand. He also reminded me that this matter is not about my feelings or desires but rather the best interest of the child. The judge saw absolutely no problem with it due to the increasing number of blended families. Was I upset? You betcha! Was there anything that I could do to prevent my daughter from calling another female "mommy?" No.

Like your ex, my ex also spoke horribly about me to anyone who was willing to listen. I was a full-time single working mother who did not have time to worry or care about what others thought of me. Those in my small network knows me and would give me the benefit of a doubt at the very least. I will confess as I pretty much did the same. Not to the ex's extremes but that's irrelevant. Upon realization of how much I was hurting my daughter when I spoke negatively about her father in her presence, I ceased. I would only imagine that your daughter must feel the same when she hears anyone bad-mouthing her mother.

The ex went M.I.A. shortly after the judge issued an order that wasn't precisely what he wanted. During his absence I had the opportunity to reassess myself and the situation -- the good and bad. It was also during this time that I found the "serenity prayer" (please google it if you are not familiar with it) although I am not religious by any means.

Now fast forward to almost 3 years later... My ex just recently started spending time with our daughter again. He has not changed; he wants our daughter to refer to his new girlfriend as "mom." My daughter aims to please and she inherited my negotiation skills so she refers to dad's new girlfriend as "<insert name here> Mommy." I no longer have issues with daughter calling another my "title." I take comfort in knowing my place in my daughter's heart. My daughter is highly intuitive and she is aware of the sacrifices I have made so that she will not need to sacrifice. In summary, I know I can not and will not be replaced, even long after my time on this earth expires. Some kids do not have a mom nor a dad; I am very grateful that my daughter has another "mom" who loves and take care of her in my absence (while she's with her father).

Worriedmommy, I know how upset and hurt you are...believe me, I truly do. You would be amazed at how intelligent kids are these days and I'm certain that your daughter knows who gave birth to her. I hope you'll find comfort and peace one day as I have and I wish you all the best.

There is no way to enforce an order like that. The courts are so overloaded that they don't have the time to handle genuine issues of dispute, let alone petty stuff (while it may not seem petty to you, take it before a judge and gauge the reaction you get).

Parenting isn't about "titles."

Quote:

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Your ex doesn't like it? And you still let him call her Mommy? Do you realize what can happen?

You have NO BUSINESS alienating your child's MOTHER in that manner.

It's one thing if Mom agrees to your child calling your latest wife Mom. But if she doesn't? You seriously need to correct your son. You can face legal problems, and if it goes on far enough? You can lose custody.

Think about it.

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Was this to me? I wasn't sure, but I'll respond anyhow.

No, my ex doesn't like it, but I don't expect it to ever be an issue in court. I wish her the best of luck if THAT is the battle she wants to bring before the judge after everything she's done (including disappearing from his life for two years). I don't see this as alienating my ex at all. I encourage my son's relationship with his real mom, but I'm certainly not going to discourage him calling my wife "mom" when he seems happy to do so. We don't force it; he's almost 10 years old and it's something HE wants to do. If he decided he wanted to call my wife by her name, I would be fine with that, as well. We're leaving it up to him. If my ex has an issue with that, I think she's being petty.

Also, "latest" wife? She's my only wife. My ex and I were never married. :)

Oh. So when your 10 year old tells you that he doesn't want to go to school, you're going to be okay with that..right?