Stepson Knows What Weed and Crack is Because of His Stepdad

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Pennsylvania . Yesterday after watching a thousands worlds we were flipping channels and stopped at America's most wanted. The narrator was telling us about a man going on a drug bing and they showed the male laying in bed with a plate of weed getting ready to use it. My 8yr stepson says his stepdad does that. My fiancé muted the tv and asked him do you know what that is. He said yes he seen his stepdad with it. I was shocked so I blurted you know what weed is he said yes and also said his he seen him with buttcrack with out the butt. My fiancé said you seen him smoke crack. My step son said no but he seen it. My fiancé ask how do you know what it was. My stepson said because of the small, it smalls like throw up. That the police once told him in school what it smells like. My stepson said that's why his stepdad treaten to hit him but his mom stepped in. My fiancé ask who knew that his stepdad did this. He said his mother knew because they would talk about it and he would smell it in the room. He said one time while she was pregnant her husband on his drug bing tried to force her to smoke a you know "cigar" but his mom said no because she is pregnant. My fiance asked his anyone else in the house knew since the house is crammed up with his minaster grandmother, his correctional police officer grandfather and his mothers' twin brother. My stepson said that the family knew he had a drinking problem because his nana found liquir under his mothers' room lamp. It looks like to me they found out early waht was going on but lied about it to him to protect the family. But his own mother failed to protect him. We know he is telling the truth but what do we do. We found out two months ago that his stepfather went to jail. My stepson was told not to tell us at first. We do not have a cusdity agreement but my fiancé does pay child support and never missed a payment. My fiancé did not try to fight for cusdity because he felt that his son was more stable with his mother and would see him when he could afford to pick him up because the child support took half his pay check. My fiancé did not care about paying child support because he hope it would go to his son well being. God knows what she was really doing with the money because she would call for more. We want to take this to the police but we don't know if it would do any good because we believe that his mother is divorcing his stepdad and there is a restraining order against him. But I have no trust in that family because they protected themselves but not him. He is eight and i did know what drugs really were till I was in middle school when they were doing drug awareness week. It breaks my heart because my stepson is truly a blessing and she let his childhood become a tainted. We want to record him talking to us today for evidence but we do not know what to do. I thought go to the police. We want to know what to expect and what are our options. Please someone help us save him. I am soooo scared that he will hate us for that but I do not trust them anymore. My fiancé is holding back a lot because he want his son to be able open up to him and it took us this long for him to open up to us. We did not know it was this bad and we never questioned anything before because when he is with us he did not show any indication that something was wrong. Currently we did notice that he would say little white lied about knowing how to swim or try to show off a little. Which was odd because he would tell us the truth when he was younger. But looking back it he started lieing a little before he met the guy. There is so much missing to this puzzle but he is 8 and go by whaht he sees, what he hears. And if his family tells him something he will believe it. We are so stuck. What do we do!!!

How do you know kiddo is telling the truth? That's an awful lot of faith to put in the words of an 8 year old, y'know?

Your fiance - because you're a legal stranger and you're not legally able to do anything at all - can of course call child services.

I get the distinct feeling though that this isn't the entire story. So, what does Dad want to do?

We stopped at America's most wanted and they showed this male laying in bed with a plate of weed. I looked over to my fiancé so he could change it once I heard the narrator say that want man was on a weed and crack bing. And out of the blu he says that's what his stepfather does. That's why we muted it and my fiancé just asked him how he knew what that was. And he clearly said because he seen it while he was in the room with his stepfather. We have a very smart 8yr old. My fiancé kept questioning him to see if he would change what he said and he didn't. Obviously what 8 yr old knows about drugs unless he was close and personal with it. He said that he stepfather was arrested for drug possession while out in the town with his friends. Which his mother had to go to court. We knew she went to court for his stepfather but we had no indication that it was over drugs. We just assumed that it was for a speeding ticket or something. We asked him why did he not go to his grandparent about this and he said they were always to busy to talk to him. I fiancé been abused when he was little and did not trust to tell anyone till he was an adult and he feels like he failed his son. My fiancé want to get all the facts first and wants his son in his care.

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The conversation went for an hour and we felt that his son started to hold back so we stopped and tried to end the day well. There was a lot said. And we are just so shocked!

Does it occur to you that kiddo, at 8, is going to hear and read about drugs not only at school but from friends and other sources?

Mom is divorcing stepdad, yes?

So again - what exactly does Dad want here?

He wants his son to live with him. It took him three years to move out of a very unhealthy environment. I wish I was recording the convo last night because he questioned him from every angle. My fiancé did ask about kids in school talk about it. And that when he said the police talked about it in school. I do feel like he is holding back which is odd because of course as a parent he would ask how things are going in the house and his son would share with us. Looking back I now do see that he stopped talking too much about home and more about toys,games,friends but not much about home. He would hold back.

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That's what his son said. And her Facebook says single. Just checked.

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I know it's seems odd that I am asking but I could not sleep and my fiancé woke up to find me in the living room thinking. We did briefly talk about it in the bath room and said he did not want his son to find us in the bathroom talking about it. We just don't know what do. We are both in our mid 20's and we didn't expect this.

OK, first things first: There is no "we" here, and the child is not your step-son. Emotionally, sure, but legally, no, and we deal in legalities here.

You don't have the authority to make decisions for him, and you definitely don't have the authority to interfere in his relationship with his Mom. If Dad has an issue, it's up to him to get it sorted out. That means filing for custody or calling CPS or both.

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It breaks my heart because my stepson is truly a blessing and she let his childhood become a tainted.

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I'm going to be very blunt here: Are you completely out of your mind? Sheltering children from reality is DANGEROUS. And stupid.

At eight years old, he is more than old enough to be taught about drugs and the dangers of abusing them. The way to keep children safe is to educate them, not lie to them and pretend the world is all sunshine and lollipops. For heavens sake, you were watching America's Most Wanted - a show designed to propagate fear and mistrust - and you're claiming his Mom "tainted his childhood"??

No. If you love the boy, teach him.

I forgot to answer that we are aware that he is at the age that he would hear about it and see about. but he just knew to much. You would just have to be around to him to know that he is saying some truth to the story. Kids have the crazies imaginations but he just knew too much. And my gut is telling me that he is telling the truth. Of course we assured him we will not tell his mom what he told us.

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Your right I am very protected of him because he is a great kid. The world is crazy and I know I have no legal right. I can not stop his father from what he want to watch. This story goes very long just trying to make it brief. Just by Expericance I witness on our side it's hard to be a parent with really no say because he would have to ask his ex what and what not to do because we do not want to cause any problems and not see him because of a disagreement. I am grateful that he is a great kid because of them. I will never take that away from them. But it's just so much said that could go for days like he is happy they are no longer together because mom party too much and grandpa wanted to adopts him. But I will leave it at this and have my fiancé read this. Thank you for being Blount with me. I rather hear the truth than give the ring around. I apporiate your time. And all I can do is just support my fiancé in what he decides.

Kids are much smarter than many adults are willing to give them credit for. They see drug use on TV, schools are being responsible and teaching kids rather explicitly, and they talk with their friends.

"He knows too much about drugs" means nothing to the courts. Your boyfriend needs to show the court that kiddo is in danger if he thinks he's got a shot at custody.

Hopefully, dad made a better choice his time, than the woman he chose to procreate with last time.

Ok that's what I really wanted to know. He will respond to my account so he can ask any other question. I truly appropriate it.

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Hello and first I would like to thank everyone's input. I'm the fiancé and this is my child. What is considered indangourment? If drugs was not an indrangourment then way are states having welfare people take drug test and job give drug test. I work for the state prison and I know how to talk to my own child. I do not tell my girl everything that me and my son talk about nor did she hear everything that was said. I know get fact than proceed.I know in the state of Pennsylvania if there is suspected anything involve a child it will be reported. My girl just want to know what to expect. And clearly she loves him enough to give him a well desevered childhood instead of having kids now inday grow up to fast and follow bad influences. I grew up at age 7 but of the cards that I was dealt. But like I said thanks for all the inputs. Y'all have a blessed day.

Uh...because welfare comes out of TAXPAYERS money?

(Seriously - are you completely unaware of why some states are drug testing welfare recipients?)

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What is considered indangourment?

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I dunno, you need to put that in English, German, or French first. That's not any word I recognize.

He meant endangered.
*helpful Chrissy*