Mom's Boyfriend Putting Hands on My Sons

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: CA

I share 50/50 custody with my ex-wife who has a live in boyfriend. I do received child support from the mother. The boyfriend is both physically and verbally abusive to my youngest son (8yrs) in which he has hit my son, cursed at both my sons (both 8yrs and 9yrs) and even threw my son on the bed by his neck and cursed at recently as reported by both my sons and an ex-roommate and friend of mine who have witnessed most of it because they have lived there; however, they seem unwilling to get involved. Ex-wife has stated that she has a right to discipline the kids as she fits and give that right to anyone else, even though I have reminded her that court order specifically states "no Corporal punishment my either parents or third party".

I have opened CPS Cases (I work for CPS) and all were unfounded. The kids always have bruises, lacerations or broken bones (which went untreated for 3 days by mom until I got my son back from her and took him to the hospital) when I see them but they say it because "I fell off my bike" or some other strange reason. My sons are beginning to have trouble in school and my youngest is beginning to act out. We are getting counseling for the youngest who clearly does not want to go back to mommy's house and seems afraid to talk. The teachers, school psycologist and Special ED teachers have all stated that he is well mannered and is falling behind...but seems afraid to talk most of the time and will become frustrated and begin to cry.

I have told their mother to tell the boyfriend to keep his hands off the children, to which I get negative replies. It seems my youngest is always "getting into trouble" while he is away from my care and when I propositioned the mother to let me have full custody it is out of the question. Is there anything I can do about this that won't seem like I'm being too dramatic in the courts eyes? The boyfriend has had a restraining order placed on him in the past from another relationship. I don't want to wait until something really bad happens to my son......

If your allegations have been ruled "unfounded" and there were bruises, lacerations, or broken bones, either the incidents are not acts of intentional abuse, your peers are incompetent, or mom is really good at obfuscating the facts. I find it a little curious that if there were all these serious visible injuries that the investigations came back as "Unfounded." If you work for CPS you understand the difference between "unfounded" and "unsubstantiated," and I would expect at least the latter if there are repeated incidents of such injuries.

If mom is violating the court order, then you can always go back to court and seek sanctions or ask for full custody.

Thank you.

I just don't want the courts to see it as "dad's just whining". After one of the last reports that went unfounded that's when my youngest broke his arm and mom never took him to the hospital for 3 days....I clearly saw the bump on his forearm and immediately took him in. Even a Doctor had placed a CPS report from what my oldest told her....that was later labeled "unfounded". For some reasons the courts are very hard on fathers even with the new father's rights law. I just don't want to wait til something really bad happens to them. Would i have enough to get a restraining order against the Boyfriend? It's either that or me having to verbally tell him to keep his hands off. Guess I'll have to get the police report I had on one of the incidences.

Keep in mind that a police report is not evidence, it will merely be a record of what the various parties told them and what they observed.

If you have sufficient doctor's reports you might have enough for a TRO. But, with CPS ruling the claims unfounded plays into their favor. It could be rough.

Good luck.

Thank you. I appreciate it.