Out of State Vacations

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TX

I have sole custody and ex has possessorary rights. I found out yesterday that he has taken our daughter to FL for vacation at sea world. My concern is that he has made threats to take off with her in the past and he never notified me of the vacation. Now the order says nothing about either of us taking the child out of state. The court order does stipulate that ex is to provide and assure a seperate bedroom for our daughter during overnight visits, and is not to be shared with any other children in the home.

As sole managing consv...

Does ex have to at least notify me of the dates and place of out of state vacations?

Do I have the right to be notified of sleeping arrangements for my daughter? (Vacationers include ex, his gf, and his son)

All I know about the vacation is that they where in missippii yesterday and where on their way to FL for a vacation at Sea World. I was not aware of the vac. until yesterday.

I am in no way trying to ruin or interfere with their time together. I just want to know where my daughter will be, in case something happens. I would also like to be sure he has the plans to even come back, seeing as he hid this from me. I dont see why this trip would need to be a secret. The only thing that upsets me about this trip is that he can't pay child support but he can afford this, but on the other hand Im glad my daughter gets to have fun with him.

If your ex- is not restricted from taking vacations to other states or nations, he may do so (although for the latter he would need the child's passport).

In terms of providing you with contact information for where the child will be during a vacation, although providing such information is a matter of courtesy, your ex- is only required to do whatever your order states.

You don't get to pre-approve your ex's vacation accommodations, or dictate how your ex- assigns sleeping quarters or rooms during a vacation. If you determine that your ex- violated a term of the order and you deem that violation of sufficient import to take the action, you can raise the issue with the custody court.

Speculation that your ex- won't come back from a vacation is not going to convince a court to prohibit your ex- from taking vacations with the child.

Thank you for your reply! I am not looking to pre approve his plans with her, but seeing as the court order says that he "must provide and assure serperate sleeping quarters for the child, and shall not be shared with any other child in the home." I wasnt sure exactly what that meant my rights where. Seems as though its not me dictating the sleeping arrangements, but rather it is a court order. I am not looking to raise any issues either but seeing as we are in court for modification now would be a good time to understand my rights so I know what things I might want to change for the future.

"In the home" does not mean the same thing as "at all times" or "in the home and during travel".

Wow guess you really have to be very detailed in orders. The order does say (must provide seperate sleeping quarters for child during overnight visit) That is a seperate sentence than the (And shall not be shared with any other child in the home) Right? So to be specific during an overnight visit he is ordered to provide seperate sleeping quarters regardless if he is at home or accross country? And that those sleeping quarters cannot be shared with any other child in the home?

I really think it's out of control to have to be so specific, but there are previous sexual abuse allegations (documentation with CPS, and these allegations came from his first daughter not me) and that was put in the order to protect our daughter seeing as there was not enough evidence to actually charge him/have supervised visits. So I want to understand his rights/duties as well as mine, to best protect my daughter.

If all four of them are (presumably) sleeping in the same hotel room, are you really worried about sexual abuse? Are the allegations against, the father, step mother, or step brother?

Actually yes. The allegations where with the father, but his son (by another woman besides me and his current gf) was exposed to sexual incidents at an early age with his mother. My ex and his new gf dont seem to keep an eye on the kids very well and lets say they dont really put any thought into the sleeping arrangements and put them sleeping together. His son is 12 and my daughter is 6 and my ex and his gf leave them home alone sometimes. My daughter had told me that her step brother bit her by her breast area and that is when she told me that there was no adults home. Also my daughter has been acting out sexually in school since visitation started and I am not saying it is her dad or step brother but she is learning it from somewhere and I am 100% sure its not while in my care. There is so much more behind all of this but my main point is to understand both of our rights to make sure I do everything to protect my daughter.

Acting out sexually at 6?

It sounds like you should be working with a custody lawyer and a child psychologist.

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Quoting free9man

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Acting out sexually at 6?

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That's a pretty big flag of either sexual abuse or a mood disorder. Either way, she needs counseling.

I'm not rushing towards sex abuse actually.

Kids masturbate. They do it - normal, healthy kids - from as young as 3 years. Sometimes even younger. Normal, healthy kids also play "doctor". Nobody is teaching them anything and while it can be a sign of abuse it can also be just the natural curiosity and fascination with their body.



I'd like to have "acting out sexually" clarified before making that jump.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I'm not rushing towards sex abuse actually.

Kids masturbate. They do it - normal, healthy kids - from as young as 3 years. Sometimes even younger. Normal, healthy kids also play "doctor". Nobody is teaching them anything and while it can be a sign of abuse it can also be just the natural curiosity and fascination with their body.



I'd like to have "acting out sexually" clarified before making that jump.

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Very true. I would never consider normal masturbation or playing doctor between like-aged kids as "sexual acting out".

Right, me neither :)

But umpteens of parents would consider it be that. As you know many parents still think there's something inherently wrong with their kids being curious. Heck, when they're that little? They don't necessarily understand why, or how, but they do recognize that some things give pleasurable feelings.

If there are other warning signs though I'd be wary, too.

Yes I have a session set up for her when she comes home from dads, and there is an open custody suit for modification, amicus attorneys are involved. I have a lot of presure on me from all ends. Yes it could be seen as inoccent curosity or exploration... but why all of sudden after visits start?? Incidents include my daughter telling another kid to pee in front of her or she wont be her friend anymore, the last her and a little boy went behind a tree at school and was touching and feeling. The school should of been watching the kids more closely and it never would of happened. The other kid said that my daughter told him that if he didnt do this with she would hit him. But with the reaccuring incidents and the timming has me worried and I figure it better to be safe then sorry. She was in counsling at the begining of the visits to help her cope with all the new changes in her life, and we (the counsler and I) stopped the sessions after she seemed to be adjusting well. The first thing that raised a flag for me but wasnt sure if I was freaking myself out or if something was going on. After comming home from a visit she stuck her hand down her pants and poked her finger out through the zipper. After that we had a talk about behavior like that but more incidents followed that. For my daughter's sake I pray nothing bad is happening at her dads, but I wont turn an to what might or might not be signs. She will be starting counsling when she comes home and I will be there for her regardless!