How to Change My Child's Name and Remove Father From Birth Certificate

My question involves name change laws in the State of: Tennessee

My story is long and complicated but here is the abbreviated version:
When I was 16 yrs old I got pregnant and my baby's father was with me throughout the entire pregnancy.
My problem comes in the day my son was born.
His father was there only long enough to sign the birth certificate; after that he went back to Mexico and I. Haven't heard from him since. He abandoned my son and has never called or supported him in the least bit. Six months after my son was born I met someone and has been the only father my son has known. I don't want to add his name to the birth certificate, I just would like to know how I can get his biological father's name off the birth certificate. What I also would like to know is how I can change my son's last name to my new boyfriend's and take his biological father's last name off. Thank you!

You can't just erase Dad. Marry your boyfriend, stay married (shows stability) and speak to a local attorney regarding a stepparent adoption.

It's not that I am trying to erase dad, he just hasn't worried about his son since the day he was born. He went back to his home country of mexico and we haven't heard from him in 6 years. He is the one missing out and I don't want him to have the privilege of having a child with his last name, especially one he nevercared. about. I. I don't want my boyfriend to adopt him I just want my sons biological father's name off the birth certificate and change my son's last name to his. I also have a younger child as well and my oldest son wants to have the same last name as his brother.

It's not going to happen. Why would a court change the child's name to that of a legal stranger?

Changing the name to YOUR last name is, however, a possibility.

(I just said this earlier, too - an easy fix would be for y'all to change YOUR names to match his. Much easier)

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Quoting summerstallings89

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It's not that I am trying to erase dad, I just want my sons biological father's name off the birth certificate .

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yes, you are trying to erase the legal father. If you weren't, then you wouldn't worry about the fathers name being on the birth certificate.

So pretty much the easiest solution is for me to marry the guy I have been with for the past six years, take his last name therefore making it easier for me to change my sons last name to the one I took?

No. That's called a "backdoor adoption".

And even if you get the name-change, Dad is still Dad and will remain on the birth certificate.

The main reason I want to get the father's name off the birth certificate is because I don't want him to just show up here and try and fight for visitation rights or anything concerning him being around my son. He doesn't deserve to have the title parent. He doesn't even know what he looks like he never held him.. I tried to get his parental rights terminated but there is nothing I can do if he lives in another country.

He is still entitled to file for visitation.

Do you think that if he did file for visitation that a judge would even consider giving him visitation if he has never paid one dime of child support and my son doesn't even know him?

Absolutely. He'll get something if he asks, even if it's only supervised.

It's HIGHLY unusual for a court to order no visitation whatsoever and these cases tend to involve severe abuse of the child by the parent.

Is he actually ordered to pay child support?

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summerstallings89;628862]The main reason I want to get the father's name off the birth certificate

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just stop. He is the father. You have no right to remove his name from the BC. If he shows up and wants to attempt to gain visitation, deal with it. You chose to make the child with that man so it is proper that he is named as the child's father on the birth certificate.

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He doesn't deserve to have the title parent.

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actually he does because that is exactly what he is. He may not be a good parent but he is the parent.

@dogmatique. He hasn't been ordered to pay child support because he left the country when my son was 2 days old..
@jk just because I had a child with someone doesn't make them a parent..he is the sperm donor pretty much he was with me during my pregnancy just to be able to have an american son..he left the country when his son was 2 days old how in the least bit does that make him a parent? The man who has raised him his whole life is his parent even though their not related biologically. He doesn't deserve the title parent even a little bit because he's not the title he does deserve is piece of crap dead beat daddy he has never seen a picture of his son he doesn't even know his name but I have a feeling that when my son gets to be a teenager that he's gonna come back over here and try to get visitation when he doesn't have any right whatsoever in my book

It matters not what you think is right or fair, or what you want.

What matters is that you picked him to father your child - you gave him those rights. He was not obliged to pay you a single cent in child support until/unless he was ordered to do so.

Once again, Dad will get visitation if he wants visitation. I just hope that your son knows that your current partner is not his father.

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@jk just because I had a child with someone doesn't make them a parent..

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well, I would like to see you have the child without the other party. Beyond that, the law has already determined he is a parent...the father.

.

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he left the country when his son was 2 days old how in the least bit does that make him a parent?

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because he caused you to become pregnant. There is a difference between a good parent and simply a legal parent. While he many not be a good parent, he is the legal parent whether you like it or not.

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The man who has raised him his whole life is his parent even though their not related biologically. He doesn't deserve the title parent even a little bit because he's not the title he does deserve is piece of crap dead beat daddy he has never seen a picture of his son he doesn't even know his name but I have a feeling that when my son gets to be a teenager that he's gonna come back over here and try to get visitation when he doesn't have any right whatsoever in my book

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then I guess you should have chosen more wisely who was to be your child's other parent.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Once again, Dad will get visitation if he wants visitation. I just hope that your son knows that your current partner is not his father.

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do you really think that is likely? Given the OP's tirade, I suspect kiddo is thinking boyfriend is daddy.

He hasn't been ordered to pay child support because he fled the country when the baby was 2days old to avoid having to pay child support. And yes my child knows that the person helping me raise him is not his biological father and he tells me that he is scared that his dad is going to come and try to take him away. He doesn't even know him at all he just knows that he didn't care enough about him to stay here and might I add that his father is an illegall immigrant so I think that it will come out in my favor because of that and if he tries to come back I can just call immigration and get him deported. Over my dead body he will get any where near my son.. :) I just posted on here to get some advice about how I can get his name changed but I think that I'm getting attacked. It was just something that happened I got pregnant at the age of 15 I mean my mom could have put him in jail but I begged her to give him the benefit of the doubt but he turned out to be a sleaze bag dead beat piece of crap that's only good for making babies and leavin them

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Quoting summerstallings89

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He hasn't been ordered to pay child support because he fled the country when the baby was 2days old to avoid having to pay child support. And yes my child knows that the person helping me raise him is not his biological father and he tells me that he is scared that his dad is going to come and try to take him away.

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Now why would he think that if someone wasn't filling his head with crap?

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He doesn't even know him at all he just knows that he didn't care enough about him to stay here

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I'm sure you've reinforced that, too.

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and might I add that his father is an illegall immigrant so I think that it will come out in my favor because of that and if he tries to come back I can just call immigration and get him deported. Over my dead body he will get any where near my son.. :)

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If you're dead, Dad gets custody. His immigration status means NOTHING in family court. So - he was illegal when you slept together and you were fine with then, right? Does it occur to you that your son might be visiting Dad in MEXICO?

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I just posted on here to get some advice about how I can get his name changed but I think that I'm getting attacked. It was just something that happened I got pregnant at the age of 15 I mean my mom could have put him in jail but I begged her to give him the benefit of the doubt but he turned out to be a sleaze bag dead beat piece of crap that's only good for making babies and leavin them

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No, you're just not liking the legal reality. I can't help that. But if you seriously think you can forever erase him and prevent him from having contact with HIS child, you're in for a very nasty surprise.

And no, you didn't just come here about getting the name changed. You came here trying to erase Dad - as in get him off the birth certificate. Bit of a difference, don't you think?

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And if he DOES get a court order for visitation and you withhold the child, you DO realize that Dad can get custody, right?

And you'll be the visiting parent?

#1 no one is filling his head with anything why? Because my parents did it to me when I was little and I hated it..he is 6 yrs old for god sake he knows by now who loves him and who doesn't..and its sure not his dad..
#2 no it didn't bother me then but if it comes down to it I can use it to my advantage
#3 I don't know where u live but I hope to god that the judges here in tennessee are smart enoughto know when its appropriate to give visitation rights to someone and when its not..
And #4 if I de (god forbid) I hope judges aren't dumb enough as to send my child to mexico where u die if u cross the border.

1. He's 6, exactly. Think about what you're saying.

2. No, no you really can't. I'm sure you think it matters, but truly - the state cannot actually hold someone's immigrant status against them in that manner. By the same token, what happens if he gets a visa? There goes your idea, huh?

3. You don't understand. Even though he's not in the US, once he IS here, he has protected rights which you so graciously gifted to him. I don't think you're actually reading now though - you're just venting because you didn't like what you were told.

4. Now you're just being childish.

Look honey, you can sit here and stamp your feet and pout all you like. But it won't change anything. Yes, you might get the name change. But you're not removing him as Dad unless you have a husband willing to adopt.

Understand?

you need a reality check.

IF dad does come back, any visitation he would get would be limited and almost guaranteed to be supervised and remain in Tennessee. As the child becomes used to dad, the visitation would extended and eventually, unsupervised. Eventually, yes, the child could be allowed to go to Mexico to see dad if that is where dad lives.

so, how do you know dad doesn't love his son? Didn't you say he hasn't had contact? That doesn't mean he doesn't love his son. Hell, for all you know dad could be in jail or dead.

#3; yes they are and I described what they would do IF dad shows up and seeks visitation.

#1; if you aren't filling his head with crap, why would the child be afraid dad is going to come take him away. He wouldn't have any idea of the possibility if somebody didn't tell him it might happen (and in reality, it isn't) so that leaves it that you are filling his head with crap.

Childish no realistic yes..
Thanks for the opinions but I beg to differ from the things you nice people are saying
And no he's not in jail or dead I still am in contact with his cousins wwho live in the same town as me and and my son knows that his dad left us when he was born I wasn't going to lie to him he says that he doesn't want to see someone that doesn't even care in the least bit how he is..which is true if he wanted to call he knows my number everyone has facebook it would be different if he tried to get in touch he just don't..

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And the only way his dad can get a visa from the precious gift that he gave me is when my son turns 21 not before

You beg to differ because you don't know the law.

We know the law.

Yes, you're being childish. And you're hurting your son.

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Quoting summerstallings89

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And the only way his dad can get a visa from the precious gift that he gave me is when my son turns 21 not before

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Reading comprehension is so important.

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(And really, sweety, everyone gets killed after they cross into Mexico? Really? )

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summerstallings89;628929]Childish no realistic yes..
Thanks for the opinions but I beg to differ from the things you nice people are saying
And no he's not in jail or dead I still am in contact with his cousins wwho live in the same town as me and and my son knows that his dad left us when he was born I wasn't going to lie to him he says that he doesn't want to see someone that doesn't even care in the least bit how he is..which is true if he wanted to call he knows my number everyone has facebook it would be different if he tried to get in touch he just don't..

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Oh, so now you tell a very different tale.

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And the only way his dad can get a visa from the precious gift that he gave me is when my son turns 21 not before

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a visa from your son? How about a tourist visa right now? You do realize that people are allowed to come to the US for vacations, right? How about all the people that cross daily that actually don't even have visa's?