Dropping Charges Against My Fiance

My question involves criminal law for the state of: California

My fiance was arrested the other night and charged with domestic violence. She had gotten very drunk and when she gets very drunk, which is very rarely, she turns into a completely different person. We both know this which is why we both agreed she should only drink occasionally and very moderately. She didn't mean to drink as much as she had. We were driving somewhere and when I realized how drunk she was I turned the car around to go home. She began insulting me and when that didn't bait me to argue she began hitting me. This caused my operation of a vehicle to become unsafe so I pulled over and then she began getting more and more violent to the poit of biting and kicking me. I had basically wrapped her up to restrain her when a police officer drove by and asked me to come over. I explained the situation and after sorting it out for a couple hours they arrested her.

I bailed her out the next morning and she barely remembered anything. After being told everything she did and said she was incredibly remorseful. She's been crying on and off ever since and apologizing profusely. She has vowed never to touch alcohol again and given her histroy with vowes like that I know she will stick to it. With alcohol dead and buried in her life that other person will never resurface. We have yet to have a single fight in the nine months we've been together until that night.

She has no prior arresst for violent behavior and the officer can attest that her behavior was more an instance of temporary psychosis. Again, she has almost no memory of it and also feels it was more temporary psychosis and not anywhere close to any kind of behavior she's shown before. She's always a very sweet and loving girl.

We would like to have the charges dropped as there is no saftey issue here. It was not an indicator of any issues past or present between us and is a completely isolated incident. She's a very sweet, loving girl all the time. She does suffer from PTSD from a past abusive relationship which is where we think this behavior might have crept up from. I don't know if it matters but I am a pretty big guy with a very confident, controlled presence and she's a tiny little 90 lbs cute girl.

Do we have any chance of getting these charges dropped and if so what do we need to do to make that happen?

Thank you for any input you might have.

Hook her up with AA, first of all.

As far as getting the charges dropped, it's now in the prosecutor's hands. You can ASK, but the prosecutor is entitled to say No and go forward with the charges. Your girlfriend needs a lawyer.

Your g/f needs a lawyer, AA meetings, and counseling program.

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Quoting Illumin411

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She had gotten very drunk and when she gets very drunk, which is very rarely, she turns into a completely different person. We both know this which is why we both agreed she should only drink occasionally and very moderately.

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She agreed, yet didn't do it. That needs to be a red flag.

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We were driving somewhere and when I realized how drunk she was I turned the car around to go home. She began insulting me and when that didn't bait me to argue she began hitting me. This caused my operation of a vehicle to become unsafe

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Very good way for one or both to end up dead. The sitation is one where not only were your two lives put in danger by her actions, but every other potential driver on the road. This isn't just a "behind closed doors" type of incident - a LOT of other people could have been impacted - and the prosecutor, who represents ALL members in society, not just the direct victim, will have to weigh that in.

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With alcohol dead and buried in her life that other person will never resurface.

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Neither of you can possibly know that.

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She has no prior arresst for violent behavior and the officer can attest that her behavior was more an instance of temporary psychosis.

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No, the officer can't. Because the officer is an officer, not a physician, clinical psychologist, or other professional qualified to diagnose anyone with anything. The officer's opinion on a medical or mental health issue is meaningless.

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Again, she has almost no memory of it and also feels it was more temporary psychosis

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She isn't qualified to make that diagnosis either. She can't even remember the whole evening. She can attempt to make excuses after the fact, but she's the last person able to provide the court with relevant information.

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We would like to have the charges dropped as there is no saftey issue here.

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You can always ask, but you're not the only victim, just the most obvious one. The prosecutor can always say "no".

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It was not an indicator of any issues past or present between us and is a completely isolated incident.

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But IS an indicator of some issue somewhere.

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She's a very sweet, loving girl all the time. She does suffer from PTSD from a past abusive relationship which is where we think this behavior might have crept up from.

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And what is she doing for herself now that such issue has come to light? Alcohol is a common coping mechanism for lots of problems, but unless she gets some help to deal with the actual issue, she'll simply end up replacing one coping mechanism with another.

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I don't know if it matters but I am a pretty big guy with a very confident, controlled presence and she's a tiny little 90 lbs cute girl.

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It doesn't, really. Size means nothing. A 90 pound woman can still pull a trigger or do similar acts, even while bombed out of her mind.

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Do we have any chance of getting these charges dropped

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There's always a chance. But why would the prosecutor do so? They get paid to PROSECUTE cases. Part of the process is seeking to either protect society by incarcerating those who commit crimes or to cause persons to be subjected to punishment or to agree to get help before the charges might get dropped. Alcohol obviously played a major role here. No prosecutor is going to drop this case without at the VERY least some alcohol counseling for your GF. The sooner she gets into a program, the better.

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and if so what do we need to do to make that happen?

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She'll need a criminal defense attorney. An experienced local one will know the habits of the local prosecutors and the sentencing history with the local judges. That attorney is the best qualified to give her chances of what the state might offer in her case. And beyond whatever happens in the criminal case, don't let it be "forgotten" that she's got abuse issues. Just because they may have happened long ago doesn't mean that their impact isn't alive and well today and playing itself out in different ways. If you love her, make sure she gets help outside of the court issues caused by this singular incident.

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Quoting aardvarc

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She agreed, yet didn't do it. That needs to be a red flag.

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She has done it. We drink maybe twice a month. Usually we split a bottle of wine or have 1-2 cocktails a piece. The issue that night was that the glass was an irregular shape and she didn't realize how much vodka was in the drinks. She thought they were maybe a bit iver a single shit but they were. Early triple shots. But this has showed her that it's best to just stay away all together.

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Quoting aardvarc

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Neither of you can possibly know that.

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Yes, what does an does not go in her mouth is quite controllable. She doesnt have an addiction to alcohol. That vodka bottle has been in there for over six weeks and this was the first time she touched it on her own accord. Alcohol is something we can both easily live without.

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Quoting aardvarc

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No, the officer can't. Because the officer is an officer, not a physician, clinical psychologist, or other professional qualified to diagnose anyone with anything. The officer's opinion on a medical or mental health issue is meaningless.

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Police Officers are trained to recognize signs of mental disorders. It's true that their lack of education in such matters makes it so their opionion does not hold as much water as a clinical psychologist, but it could still count for something. It doesnt take a psychology degree to recognize completely irrational and psychotic behavior. She was repeatedly banging her head on the metal grate of the police car and split it open for crissakes!

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Quoting aardvarc

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She isn't qualified to make that diagnosis either. She can't even remember the whole evening. She can attempt to make excuses after the fact, but she's the last person able to provide the court with relevant information.

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Again, one dosnt need to posess a degree to recognize irrational, psychotic, inhuman behavior. If you awoke to orrow to find out yo had murdered three people (I assume that is way outside of your normal behavior) you would probably think you had gone psychotic.

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Quoting aardvarc

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But IS an indicator of some issue somewhere.

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Yes, she has issues with her PTSD having been raised by abusive parents and having been in a physically and sexually abusive relationship. That is where her issues are and we are seeking help for those issues.

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Quoting aardvarc

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And what is she doing for herself now that such issue has come to light? Alcohol is a common coping mechanism for lots of problems, but unless she gets some help to deal with the actual issue, she'll simply end up replacing one coping mechanism with another.

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We attended an AA meeting last night and she will be going regularly. Also, we had already researched therapists in our area that would be good for her and made a list though we hadn't done anything more due to having no insurance or the cash to pay out of pocket. However our money situation is changing soon. She has called the therapsists on the list to get that ball rolling.

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Police Officers are trained to recognize signs of mental disorders. It's true that their lack of education in such matters makes it so their opionion does not hold as much water as a clinical psychologist, but it could still count for something. It doesnt take a psychology degree to recognize completely irrational and psychotic behavior. She was repeatedly banging her head on the metal grate of the police car and split it open for crissakes!.

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Drunk people do all kinds of stupid things - some of them think they can fly, some sing show tunes at the tops of their lungs, some people fight, some people hurt themselves, an old friend of mine is pretty sure he's The Goddamned Batman when he's bombed, goes out looking for criminals and everything. That doesn't make them psychotic, just drunk.

The courts don't want to hear the opinions of amateurs - and that's what you, your girlfriend, and the cops are in the realm of psychological disorders. Go ahead, argue this with the judge, and see how fast you get told to STFD and STFU.

You got REALLY good advice from Catherine. If you don't listen to her, that's your lookout, but what do you have to gain from arguing with her? It's not us that need convincing, bub.

Illumin411, your frustrations are rooted in the entirely wrong place. You are getting mad at people who are answering your questions with answers you don't want to hear. She's lucky they didn't tase her ass for the headbanging. Saying that someone went a little psychotic for a minute is a stretch and what most judges would consider to be minimization a bigger problem. AA is not a tool that corrects drinking problems, so the court will probably not consider that sufficient substance abuse treatment.

You say there is no safety issue here, but I wonder how you can say that in the same post that clearly shows a risk to her, you and in this particualr scenario, innocent drivers? In all honestly, I'd be suprised if this cas wouldn't be picked up by the state. You partner seems to be really struggling with some issues that are minimized with "you guy's don't know her like I do."

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Quoting LawResearcherMissy

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You got REALLY good advice from Catherine. If you don't listen to her, that's your lookout, but what do you have to gain from arguing with her? It's not us that need convincing, bub.

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There was no argument, only logical discourse. I'm not the emotional or arguing type.

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Quoting viol8te

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Illumin411, your frustrations are rooted in the entirely wrong place. You are getting mad at people who are answering your questions with answers you don't want to hear.

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There is no frustration or anger here. Only the search for more information through logical discourse. I appreciate everyones input be it helpful or not.

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Quoting viol8te

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AA is not a tool that corrects drinking problems, so the court will probably not consider that sufficient substance abuse treatment.

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Attending AA is a very common sentance for alcohol related crimes. Substance abuse treatment is usually only ordered if it is clearly a severe dependency issue or AA had been ordered in the past and did not work.


Also, she was put in retraints and given atavan. They were on the fence about hospitalizing her on a 5150 but the atavan eventually calmed her down.

"Section 5150 is a section of the California Welfare and Institutions Code (specifically, the Lanterman–Petris–Short Act or "LPS") which allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a person deemed to have a mental disorder that makes them a danger to him or her self, and/or others and/or gravely disabled. A qualified officer, which includes any California peace officer or paramedic, as well as any specifically designated county clinician, can request the confinement after signing a written declaration."


I hope that if its documented that the officer considered "5150"ing her then that might help our case.