Can I Tell the Judge That I Want to Live with My Dad in Private So I Don't Hurt Mum

I live with my mum right now. I am 14 years old and I would really like to live with my dad. My mum and I fight constantly, if we are not fighting then we're probably not near each other and my dad is like my best friend but is also a good father and I love my step mum,we get along so well. If my mum says that she does not want me to go live there then do we have to go to court? If so I would not want to tell my mum I want to live there and just pretend that my dad's fighting to take custody of me. Would it be possible for them to ask my opinion in private on where I'd like to live? I don't want to hurt my mum especially because I know she'll be embarrassed if I told the judge straight forward I'd like to live with my dad. I'd feel very bad. Also my dad has missed lots of child support but he was going through money issues before but now he does it. My mum doesn't even use it on me most of the time anyways so I don't understand why my mom is so crazy about it. Please please help!

If you were in the U.S., I doubt that you would be calling your mother your "mum", and you didn't follow the instruction to identify your U.S. state, so... we can't do much for you. This is a U.S. forum.

If you believe you are a physical danger to your mother, talk to her, your father, or somebody at school about getting you help for your mental illness before you take things to that level.

You can talk to your father about whether he's interested in petitioning for a change of custody, but again the laws will depend on your U.S. state (and we only answer U.S. questions here). If you are in the U.S., idenitfy your state.

I moved here a while ago, but I still call my "mother" mum. I live in New Jersey.

Dad can petition for custody. If there has been a custody decision already (there sounds like there has), then there will need to be a change of circumstance in order for things to change now.

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Quoting Lexicon

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I live with my mum right now. I am 14 years old and I would really like to live with my dad. My mum and I fight constantly, if we are not fighting then we're probably not near each other and my dad is like my best friend but is also a good father and I love my step mum,we get along so well. If my mum says that she does not want me to go live there then do we have to go to court? If so I would not want to tell my mum I want to live there and just pretend that my dad's fighting to take custody of me. Would it be possible for them to ask my opinion in private on where I'd like to live? I don't want to hurt my mum especially because I know she'll be embarrassed if I told the judge straight forward I'd like to live with my dad. I'd feel very bad. Also my dad has missed lots of child support but he was going through money issues before but now he does it. My mum doesn't even use it on me most of the time anyways so I don't understand why my mom is so crazy about it. Please please help!

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presuming there is a court order placing you in the custody of your mother, unless either parent petitions for a change, it will remain as it is. While a childs desire is often listened to, I believe there is only one state where it is honored and it isn't New Jersey. The court takes many other things into consideration when determining where to place the child.

as to the support which you say your mother doesn't use on you.

well, you have a roof over your head, right? You get to eat, most likely several times a day, right? Do you have shoes? Pants? shirts? do you go to the doctor when necessary? Does your mother take you places you need to go or want to go?

Those, and every other thing it takes to raise a child are what child support is for. If you have all those things, the money is being spent where it is intended to be spent.