How to Enforce Child Visitation in Ohio

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: ohio

I was divorced 3 years ago and we agreed that i would be allowed to see my son for no less than 90 days per year.Since that time i have never recieved my 90 days due to her not allowing the visitation.When ever I try i am only allowed to see him when it convient for her never taking into account any part of my life or what impacts it has on me or my family.If i am not mistake this is grounds for contempt?Now i have filed the court order but i am so sick of the games i just want to be in my sons life how do i stop this how is it she can get away with what ever she wants to and if i so much as deliever my support 2 days late i have a phone call.I am lost any more just doesent seem fair how do i make her responsible for what she does and pay for what she does.There has got to be something i can do i feel hopeless. please help someone.I am a good father and i work hard but it seems all is for nothing.

What do your court orders actually say about visitation?

No less than 90 days dates shall be worked out buy us,

but she never agrees on any dates it turns into a big deal.She would not allow me to see him at all last summer.I was laid off like allot of people for 8 months and her reasoning for me not being allow to see him was i was poor in her words and he did not need to be with an unemployed father her words

The court isn't going to see that as a reason, no matter how strongly she might. The court is also likely to have some strong words for mom about her responsibility to facilitate a good relationship between you and your son. Take her to court, ask the court to find her in contempt (which basically for a first time in court means the judge will shake a finger at her), and then ask the court to order a SPECIFIC schedule. When court orders are incredibly vague like yours, the court has little in the way of teeth to hold the other parent accountable. It gives mom at least SOME level of plausibility to say "we couldn't work it out". When the language says "worked out by us", that's a HUGE problem. Get SPECIFICS, either certain dates, every 4th weekend, or whatever, but you need CONCRETE terms if the court is going to really be able to ENFORCE the order if your visitation isn't followed.

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Quoting aardvarc

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The court isn't going to see that as a reason, no matter how strongly she might. The court is also likely to have some strong words for mom about her responsibility to facilitate a good relationship between you and your son. Take her to court, ask the court to find her in contempt (which basically for a first time in court means the judge will shake a finger at her), and then ask the court to order a SPECIFIC schedule. When court orders are incredibly vague like yours, the court has little in the way of teeth to hold the other parent accountable. It gives mom at least SOME level of plausibility to say "we couldn't work it out". When the language says "worked out by us", that's a HUGE problem. Get SPECIFICS, either certain dates, every 4th weekend, or whatever, but you need CONCRETE terms if the court is going to really be able to ENFORCE the order if your visitation isn't followed.

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Thank you very much one question if she continues to do this to me after this comming up court date would i have grounds to fight for coustidy

If mom develops a habit, over time, where you take her to court and she is found to be in contempt of the court's order, the court could consider that her failure to facilitate your relationship with your child is so egregious as to warrant a change in custody. However, it's going to take more than once or twice before the court considers completely changing the child's everyday life around, potentially changing schools, changing friends, routines, etc. by completely switching roles and making you the CP and mom the NCP. That you are not employed also won't help you on that point. It doesn't impact your visitation, but it's going to give the court pause about the level of stability the child would be entering if it were to name you as the CP, even if mom were ordered to pay support. The court hates to drastically disrupt the life of the child, and typically won't do so unless mom has been given specific orders and she exhibits complete disregard for them. Start there.

I'm not convinced she IS in contempt at the moment given that the order is so horribly worded - I've seen far too many CPs walk away smirking for that reason.

However it's worth a shot - and absolutely, that order needs to be clarified. And include such gems as who is responsible for pick-up/drop-off? At what times? What about holidays?

Dad, start looking at parenting plans - deltabravo.net does have some good plans from what I hear.

(No, one instance of contempt is not going to switch custody)

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Quoting aardvarc

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If mom develops a habit, over time, where you take her to court and she is found to be in contempt of the court's order, the court could consider that her failure to facilitate your relationship with your child is so egregious as to warrant a change in custody. However, it's going to take more than once or twice before the court considers completely changing the child's everyday life around, potentially changing schools, changing friends, routines, etc. by completely switching roles and making you the CP and mom the NCP. That you are not employed also won't help you on that point. It doesn't impact your visitation, but it's going to give the court pause about the level of stability the child would be entering if it were to name you as the CP, even if mom were ordered to pay support. The court hates to drastically disrupt the life of the child, and typically won't do so unless mom has been given specific orders and she exhibits complete disregard for them. Start there.

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In response I do currently work and it is allot better than before as far as working so that is a good thing.

I am truely just wanting what is right for my son he is not even a kid he is allowed to play viedo games that are way beyond what he should be allowed he doesent even know how to act around other kids she keeps him in a state of being withdrawn from everything.Well I appreciate all of the advice I will start with this and see how it goes but i can say i have found that all the dead beat dads make peoplelike me suffer and the laws in this country need to be adressed to ensure fathers like me should not have to suffer.Women should be held just as accountable as men

There are LOTS of reasons why disparity exists, most of which are predictable, and easily addressable, IF the proper action is taken at the proper time.

The big two are (a) who gets primary custody, and (b) the inherent inequality when a split in parents forces the child to live with one or the other.

Primary custody, if factors like abuse, abandonment, domestic violence, aren't present generally goes to the parent whom the court feels is the primary caretaker. Men seem to think that this means who brings in the paycheck, but this couldn't be further from the truth. The primary caretaker is the one who gets the child up and dressed, fixes their breakfast, changes their diaper, checks their spelling homework, walks them to the bus stop or takes them to school, takes them to the dentist or doctor, and spends the majority of the "parenting" time with the child. More than one judge gets a good idea of which parent that is by asking the child "who do you go tell when you fall down and get a boo boo". Although every household and parenting situation is unique, the tasks and roles that the court looks at most strongly for determining primary custody tend to be done by moms rather than dads. Dads who fit that role are generally the dads who get primary custody.

Once primary custody is determined, the courts have the unenviable burden of balancing the rights of the non-custodial parent to maintain a relationship with the child, with the desire for the child to have a somewhat "normal" life - not one where they're on a plane every other weekend or can't participate in school teams or have enough "downtime" because so much of their time is spent packing, unpacking, driving from one parent to the other, etc. This is why 50/50 custody, although absolutely desirable, isn't often ordered - because it's not PRACTICAL for the child.

And of course the unspoken problem is that is easily revealed by randomly reading any 10 family law posts, whether about custody, visitation, paternity, etc on this or any other board that addresses such matters, is that men tend to screw themselves, in a legal sense, by not CHALLENGING problems right off the bat (they wait FAR too long and get in FAR too deep and make BAD decisions they don't remedy immediately), and by, quite simply, NOT getting legal HELP from a qualified attorney right off the bat. Boom. 8 o'clock, day one. I guess this is a genetic thing linked to the mentality of not asking for directions until you're so far into the woods that the Army Rangers can't get you out. Yes, attorneys can be very expensive. But 10 or 20 hours up front during the divorce process and rigorous attention to visitation orders is MUCH less than potentially HUNDREDS of hours spent filing motions and appearing before the court to try to remedy or change things later (and in family law, once something becomes the "norm" for a child, the courts strongly resist change, even to the detriment of the other parent, unless they've been very active in the pursuit of their rights as laid out under existing orders).

The other side of that coin is that too many men presume that if the ex's attorney wrote it and the court approved it, then it must be "ok". In the example of your case, the wording of your visitation order is just about one of the worst I've ever seen. If an attorney drafted that for you, or gave you ANY sense that it was a good idea, or even "normal", that attorney, quite frankly, belongs on the unemployment line. Women on the other hand enter such exercises with the idea that if they have to bleed out of their eyes to do it, they'll go in kicking and fighting from day one, having talked to every attorney in town, and begged, borrowed, maxed out the credit cards, or just about anything else they have to do in order to either retain a hired gun up front, OR, they're good enough schmoozers to get dads to sign off on their demands, either because dads get tired of the fight, or just don't realize the gravity of the situation where courts and kids are concerned.

I'm in complete agreement with you that women should be just as accountable as men. Lord knows there are a lot of mothers out there with primary custody who have no business raising children. But just like the courts don't get to pick whom you have children with, the courts also don't go LOOKING for cases or motions or children whose best interests should be evaluated. The courts ARE the ones who have SOME ability to hold parents responsible (again, only after they've already been chosen to BE parents), but the courts can and will only act when cases are brought before it. Dads need to do a lot MORE of that if they want moms to be held more accountable. Sadly, we see it on the boards every day: dads wait YEARS to bring problems before the court, or, just as disturbing, it's only dad's new girlfriend or new wife who starts looking for answers to these types of problems (again, randomly read some of the various family law threads - it's shocking how many of the posts are wives/girlfriends who are the ones taking the initiative to seek guidance, rather than the dads themselves).

It has little or nothing to do with "laws". There's no law change that would impact what happened in your case up till now or that will have impact on your case moving forward. There's no "law" that determines CP/NCP status - that's up to the judge to determine who is the primary caretaker and if there are additional factors. There's also no statute that spells out what a custody or visitation agreement or order must contain, or how such an agreement or order must be enforced. Again, those things are discretionary with the judge. And just like a squeeky door gets the grease, so in courts do the parents who are actively presenting their cases, preferably with the assistance of a qualified professional, get more "action" from the court.

So long as parents continue to get into situations where they are not raising their children together under one roof, such problems and disparities will continue to exist at some level, even with the best attorneys and fastest "trigger-finger" judges ready to step in to attempt to apply equilibrium. But dads can gain the best chance at getting some of that equilibrium by taking a lesson from moms - by striking quick, and with legal representation by an attorney who knows to anticipate these common problems.

PS. Someone really should write a book for dads, using combat terminology. Call it "Custer and McArthur, A Difference in Approaches: If Your Tactic Isn't Working, Use Your Enemies Tactics".

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Quoting aardvarc

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PS. Someone really should write a book for dads, using combat terminology. Call it "Custer and McArthur, A Difference in Approaches: If Your Tactic Isn't Working, Use Your Enemies Tactics".

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No, no no. Patton would be better, reference him when you write that book.. As in... "Rommel... you magnificent bastard, I read your book!"