Filing a Motion to Change Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

My wife and I have recently had a child custody decision finalized. We have custody of the two younger children while her ex has custody of the older one (16 yrs old). Visitation is supposed to be alternating weekends during the school year so that all three children are together. That has yet to happen. We make sure the two children we have are ready for visitation but her ex does not. He is verbally abusive and threatening about my wife/ his ex to the kids. The oldest one has fallen into that manipulation and acts the same way as his dad when they are together. He refuses to follow the court order. The only time he spends time with us is if he can do it without his dad knowing. We are planning on filing a change in custody order to hopefully get full custody. My wife's ex spends every night in the bar and leaves the 16 yr old without any supervision. Right now the child is failing out of school. Over 150 classes have been affected by absences or tardies this school year. He was caught driving without a license and does not currently have a drivers license or a permit. This does not stop him from being used as his dad's designated driver to take him to and from the bar.

We are looking for any advice on how we can file this motion ourselves as we have spent over 10,000 dollars on lawyer fees but without any results. Thank You

Recently finalized?

How recently?

(Please remember also that you're not a party to the case - it's just your wife who has custody split with her ex)

The current order of custody was finalized in June of last year. Yes I do know that she is the one involved in this case but we are both working together to file a motion. In the end though it is between her and her ex.

How many times has Mom filed contempt when Dad won't send kiddo per the court order?

Every time the court order has been refused she has filed a complaint with Friend of the Court. We live an hour away and have to drive every other weekend to sit in a parking lot for 30 min just to make sure we are there to pick up the 16 yr old even though it never happens. This did go to court one time and the Judge said that her ex would spend a night in jail for every day that my wife did not receive her ordered visitation. FOC has set up a mediation for the 13th but that is as far as it has gotten. We are also working with CPS because of domestic violence directed at her and witnessed by the kids. They have a lot of information but still won't do anything. The kids have all witnessed death threats directed against their mom and I on a regular basis.

Okay, then Mom might be jumping the gun a little. You have mediation on the 13th? And CPS are involved?

Honestly, Mom might want to wait. Let mediation go ahead, and let CPS do their job first and investigate. In other words - give Dad enough rope to hang himself (metaphorically speaking). It's EXCELLENT that she's actually driven over there - keep doing that, because it shows that she's actually turning up, and if you need proof you can buy a candy bar at the local 7-11 or (and this isn't a given) call the local police/sheriff and request that they make a report. They won't enforce visitation, but in many areas they'll be more than happy to just take a report.

Thank you very much. We are waiting for the mediation to happen but intend to file after that. With everything that has gone on we both know that mediation will most likely not solve a thing. I have given very little of the situation and have understated the severity of it. Drug, alcohol, and tobacco use and frequent and involve the two older kids. CPS has investigated as have the police but still have not done anything. There have been multiple witnesses to the children's dad smoking pot with them and buying chew and cigarettes. We are and have been patient but are reaching a point where if something isn't done soon it may be too late for the 16 yr old. Right now he is on the cusp of not being able to graduate even he takes summer school for the next two years.
As for the candy bar we have actually done that. We have used a credit card to make the purchase so that the receipt can prove that we were there.
Thank you very much for your responses btw. They are much appreciated.

The biggest problem you have at the moment is that CPS haven't seen fit to do anything - this indicates that Dad is NOT actually unfit, and that the situation is not dire enough to remove the child.

This will be a huge issue for Mom if she wants to change custody. Huge.

(Incidentally, tobacco and alcohol aren't illegal - in order for the court to basically give a darn about that, Mom would have to show that usage actually places the child in danger. At 16, it's not likely she can do that. And unfortunately for Mom, the vast majority of courts in this country are ambivalent about pot use, too - they'll treat it the same way as cigarettes and vodka)

Also we do feel that in time dad will get into trouble of some sorts. A reason that it hasen't happened yet is due to living in a small town in upper Michigan. Everyone knows everyone and sort of protects everyone. A good-ol-boys club so to speak. We are trying to take care of this now to protect eh kids from the damage that is being caused.

I see what your saying about the substance use. How is it not considered illegal when the child is under age (in the case of alcohol and tobacco) and actually illegal with pot. The CPS worker that we have has stated that while the environment is not good it is not a place of imminent danger that would warrant removal of the child. There investigation continues but without results as of yet. As for the dad using alcohol, this is an issue because the custody order states that no alcohol is to be consumed during parenting time. My wife and I follow this completely.

Let's back up a second.

The KIDS are smoking/drinking? And there is proof? (blood tests) And CPS have done nothing?

Is that correct?