Both Partners Charged with Simple Assault on Each Other

My question involves criminal law for the state of: NJ
Going through divorce and my wife had asked me to come to the house and watch our daughter while she was at a therapy appointment for my son. When returning an arguement ensued and she assulted me 5 times (kicking, grabbing genitals and face) before I physically removed her hand from my face which she was grabbing. Upon doing so I injured her arm. We both have been charged with simple assult. My son was a witness and backed my story. In speaking with the officers involved they agreed I was acting in self defense but because she showed signs of trauma I had to be charged. The police report is not available yet but I have been told it reads in my favor as defense and my sons statement reflects that. I have also been told that most likely my charges are going to be dropped and hers will stick due to the police report and the fact that I truly was defending myself and in no way trying to physically harm her.
From what I gather 9 out of ten times offsetting charges are dropped but I have two concerns....
1. I am 6'4" and 300lb she is 5'4" and 125lbs....obviously I see that as an issue.
2. Most importantly.....If she is convicted she will immediately lose her job as a teacher as she has been informed of this already.

We both want the charges to be dropped and neither filed a restraining order.
Since this is all new to us and each's first offense do we need a lawyer to represent us indivdually, both, or is this dismiised if we both agree to it?

Thank you in advance

It is not up to the combatants in a fight as to whether charges are brought. It is the state that is the injured party by your criminal activity. You both need lawyers. DV convictions have serious implications.

You were both charged with simple assault. Which could be an amended charge that won't be as damaging as domestic battery. You would need to discuss that with your attorney re:the effect of being convicted of simple battery as oppsed to domestic.

The court is full of cases that are the result of emotionally fueled fights. Arguing self defense may prove difficult. So, because of all the variables involved, an attorney in your area is definitely your best bet. In cases like this, I say hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Would any conviction cause her to be fired,maybe your wife charge can be reduced to disorderly conduct . I agree with person above hope for the best and prepare for the worst,both of you need lawyers asap.