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Child Care Costs
My question involves child support in the State of: CA
Me and my husband are going through a divorce. We've gone to mediation and have a court order for custody, he gets our son every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night. The order states that he can get our son other times as well as long as we mutually agree on those times. We don't have anything formal set up for child support yet, I filed with the state but it's taking a while for them to do all the paperwork (as is expected) so for now he gives me a set amount every month (it's about half of the guideline amount). I understand that childcare costs are supposed to be split 50/50 between parents but does that only include the amount necessary to maintain employment?
The reason I ask is because I started school last month and he agreed to watch our son on Monday nights in addition to the every other weekend he already gets. I only go once a week and this is barely my 6th class and he's already flaked out on me 3 times. I told him to forget it and I will hire a sitter for those days instead since I can't depend on him and that he will be responsible for half of that amount (my son already goes to daycare Mon-Fri while I'm at work which I pay for). He seems to think he doesn't have to pay for it. I'm frustrated because everytime the issue of child support is raised he threatens to take custody from me but he can't even handle the tiny amount of time he already has with our son. Should I be filing contempt of court since he's been flaking? I'm thinking no since the Monday thing was only a verbal agreement? It's not only Mondays though, last Sunday he brought my son home at 6:30 am because supposedly he had to work (in addition to other times he's brought him home early) I don't mind on weekends because I'm home but the Monday thing actually hurts me because I end up having to miss class. I just don't know what to do anymore, and I suspect it's going to get worse since he just had another baby. Can someone please tell me what I should do? (Sorry this is so long).
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Re: Childcare Costs
The exact language of your order pertaining to child care is what?
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Re: Childcare Costs
Does your current order specify that parties are responsible for 1/2 of childcare costs? If not then legally he is not responsible. If there is wording then you would need to make a demand for his portion of the childcare costs (best if done by certified mail), then if he fails to pay you could take him to court for this issue or have it brought up at a future court hearing regarding this issue.
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Re: Childcare Costs
We have no order for child support yet. Right now he is just giving me a random amount that he came up with that works for both of us. I am OK with this for now but in the future I would rather have our child support be official (to protect both of us) so I filed for child support with the state of California. When I look up the figures online, according to the guideline he is responsible for half of the amount I pay for child care. His argument is that he is not responsible for the extra childcare I'll need to attend school (Monday nights), he says he will only pay half of the childcare for the hours I work (Mon-Fri 8am-5pm). It doesn't sound right that he can just pick and choose how much he's going to pay. Child support services has been less than helpful with my case so far, to say the least, so I was hoping someone here would have an answer. Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it.
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Re: Childcare Costs
His argument is correct, actually - he's not responsible for paying for child-care while you're at school. Work, yes - but not school. That will fall solely on your shoulders.
(At the moment he's not obliged to pay anything at all though)
He's also not in contempt for the visitation issue - even when court ordered, visitation is a right, not an obligation.
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Re: Childcare Costs
Thank you for responding so fast. I totally understand he is not obliged to pay anything right now, which is why I filed in the first place against his wishes. He has faithfully paid the agreed upon amount which I do appreciate even if it's only half of what he should be paying.
It would have worked out awesome for all of us if he could just take the extra day. I can handle the childcare for Mondays, I mean it's only one evening a week. I'm just frustrated with this whole situation and I need to learn to keep my emotions out of this. Thanks for all your help.
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Re: Childcare Costs
Unfortunately, you're right - I know emotions are involved (it's a very emotional issue :) ) but yes, we've got to keep emotions outside of it.
Dad could help BOTH of you out by taking kiddo on Monday nights - but if he won't, or is inconsistent enough that you just can't rely on him, then yeah - you've got to find an alternate arrangement.
Good for you, too, for getting a court order. No matter what, court orders protect all of you!
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Re: Childcare Costs
Always get a court order for child support, childcare, and health insurance. Remember 50/50 for childcare is customary however the court has the final say and I've seen a few cases when the father makes less than the mother that the court ruled 50% of child care would be an undue burden and set the amount father to pay for child care less than 50%. Also if the school you are attending is work related i.e. training to make you employable and get a job than depending on the wording in the court order it may include this also. But remember legally he is not responsible for anything until the court makes a court order. Morally he should be helping but then again its the world we live in.