Can My Ex's Rights Be Terminated

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas.

Ok basically the last time I saw my son's "father" was when I was 3 months pregnant, we were never married, and my son is now 6 years old. In that time I have had to cooperate with the local Attorney Generals office to seek child support because of being on medicaid. I recently found out my ex was arrested, tried, and convicted in the state of California for sexual crimes involving a minor and is a registered sex offender. His crimes involved minors so my question is what if any rights will he be able to get once paternity is established and child support is enforced? Can I have his rights terminated or at the very least restricted to supervised visitation? My ex has never bothered to be around so far but when he is ordered to pay child support he may try to push visitation or more just to spite me.

I'm concerned first and formost with my ex being around my son because of the crimes commited and secondly the emotional and psycological impact it will have introducing his "father" to him when he hasn't bothered to be around so far.

Even convicted sex offenders can have unsupervised visitation with (in some instances they can actually obtain/retain custody of) their children, believe it or not. However much might depend on the nature of the crime. A 29 year old having sex with a 16 year old for example would probably be regarded as being quite, quite different than the same 29 year old molesting eight 3 year olds. And obviously if the crime was against their own child/ren, that also changes things quite a bit.

Given that Dad hasn't seen your son in so long, supervised visitation should be requested at least initially and you should request that it takes place in your community.

He has no rights as of now to terminate - and given that you're on State aid, Texas will not allow you and Dad to do a voluntary TPR (which is sometimes an option in Texas even without a stepparent adoption). It's much more likely that if the crimes were serious enough, for supervised visitation to be ordered versus his rights actually terminated.

I know you won't like this part, but now might be a good time to prepare your son a little if possible. Do you have photos? Facebook profile pics? Anything you can show your son to remind him who Dad is?

So there's no way I could possibly file abandonment or something? He has made no effort at all to pay child support or visit my son even when he was in the same state just an hour or two away. My son has NEVER met him. The last time I saw my ex I was 3 months pregnant and he was yelling at me for crying then later told me he hoped I would die giving birth.

I don't have any pictures and as it is I am not even sure how to introduce the subject without totall devestating my son because he won't be able to understand. I always intended to one day explain things to him but some of the issues that my son has makes it more difficult. He's on the autistic spectrum and change, especially big changes upsets him and can sometimes create serious behavior issues. Also he gets very upset about things that m ost kids his age wouldn't like my sister got a box and its tale was cropped and my son knows dogs have tails and since this one didnt it must have been cut off and was in tears every time he saw the dog because someone cutt off its tail evne when we tried to convince him that it wasnt and he was just a dog with a really short stubby tail, or they are studying the first president in school and he said he wanted to meet him and I tried explaining that George washington lived a very long time ago and isn't around anymore and he broke down in tears devistated that the first president was dead and still brings it up almost everyday and seems shocked and devestated by it every day. So trying to explain to him that he has a father that he has never met and I don't know when or if he will meet him will be devestating to him because he just won't understand regardless of how I explain it to him.

Without a court order, he's never been obliged to support your son financially. There are times when the state can terminate a parent's rights based on abandonment, but this truly is not common unless there have been court orders in place which the parent has willfully ignored. The state wants two parents (ideally) to be financially responsible, and if one is unable (such as when one parent files to obtain state assistance), they are even more reluctant to consider termination of parental rights.

Counseling would be a good idea - the concept of "Dad" can be introduced with the aid of a good therapist.

Is it a rule of thumb to have the supervised visits in the custodial parents hometown? DOMA?

When the parent has been absent? Yeap.

So I basically get screwed because my ex moved too often to track him down and when I did track him down the attorney generals office took months of me constantly calling with the new information because they weren't putting it in the computers or something and then when they did they didn't take any action on it. They just recently after a year had me come in and re-file/update and notorize paperwork to send to California. You would think they would have had paternity established by now at the very least or even have a court order by now but I am still waiting and now I am waiting on California.

As for getting my son into counseling I can't afford it. If it is something inssurance will cover then I guess I will be asking his doctor to push through yet another referral.

Mom, how are you getting screwed?

Because it seems like because there has been no court order for support that the fact that my ex chose not to be in my son's life from day1 even when he had plenty of opportunity is irrelevant. But once he starts having to actually pay child support and gets out of jail I doubt he will just stay away like he has been and it will just upset my son and create a lot of problems. I get it that kids should have both parents and trust me I have wished that my kid could have a father to look up to but my ex isn't someone he can look up to or depend on and my ex has proven that time and again.

When you filed for public assistance, you pretty much lost the ability to terminate dad's rights. Since you cannot afford to raise your son and the good people of Texas are supporting him, they have the right to go after the father to try and recoup some of their money.

But the child support order is separate from a visitation order. Dad would have to go to court (where the child lives) and ask for court ordered visitation. Until he has an order for visitation, you do not have to let him see the child.

No, you're getting screwed because of the choice to make a child with a man who didn't even make a commitment to having and supporting a family, such as the legal contract of marriage. It's simply an unfortunate reality that LOTS of children have one or more no-good, dead-beat, parents - who were CHOSEN to be a parent. That's not a failure on the part of the courts, or "the system". Once that person has been deemed good enough to sleep with and make a baby with, they get constitutionally protected rights regarding that child that require SUBSTANTIAL circumstances for a court to terminate. As PQN noted, having a child with such a parent when you yourself can't support the child on your own pretty much seals that the government WILL keep him around as a parent, even without visitation, if for no other reason than the potential to pay back the taxpayers for the cost of a child that the taxpayers are supporting. The big financial downside is that even the government can't get blood out of a turnip, and if dad either isn't working, or his willing to spend his life on the run from child support, even Uncle Sam can't FORCE him to pay - either to you, or to pay back the taxpayers.

If at some point in the future you should meet Mr. Wonderful, and get married, then your new husband could attempt to adopt the child (and the father may be willing to support that process if he has no interest in the child and wants to end life on the run from the child support enforcement office).

You make it sound like I chose for my ex but we were engaged and he was the one who wanted to start a family right away. Unfortunately I didn't find out till I was already pregnant that he was doing drugs, into child porn, and messing around with underage girls online. After six years the law finally caught up with him. I'm not so concerned about him paying or not I could care less and yes I know because I at one point was on government assistance and still have to have my son on medicaid, because my employer does not offer healthcare benefits, that I had to cooperate. My concern is him just showing up in my sons life and creating some serious problems for my kiddo. And I have met "Mr. Wonderful" and will be getting married in the next year and he wants to adopt my son but I can't see my ex just giving up his rights willingly even though he hasn't bothered to show the least bit interest so far but that doesn't mean he won't fight it just to spite me because that is just how he is.