Domestic Violence Felony, Strangling Charge

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Texas

Here's my story:
Basically my boyfriend and I have been having some issues and it's lead to physical violence on multiple occasions. A couple weeks ago, we had a really bad argument which lead to him slapping me constantly, hitting me, spitting on me, and apparently "strangling" me. I honestly don't remember much about the strangling part but I do remember him covering my mouth on multiple occasions throughout the night so I wouldn't scream. We lived in an apartment complex so I guess the neighbors heard what happened and called the police.
Apparently one of the cops saw us through the window and he saw him on top of me "strangling" me. They busted down the door, took him in and charged him with a 3rd degree felony for dv. My family drove in from out of town and came to get me that night. I packed everything and left.

The fact of the matter is, we do love each other very much and want to both change and attend couples counseling so we can make things work. They released him on bond, and I have been communicating with him nonstop trying to figure out what to do about the situation.

The cops took photos of me from that night, and I was pretty beat up, had a black eye, bruises everywhere on my body and neck and in bad condition. Of course I tried fighting him back but it was all in defense. He didnt have any bruises or scarring. He hired a really good defense lawyer and he is asking me to move back into town so we can attend the couples classes so it will help his case. He says that if I don't, he will have to go to court and they will most likely sentence him. Hes also asking me to tell his lawyer that I "hit him first" which is completely untrue but I'm willing to do that to protect him however I don't want them to turn it around on me and I end up getting into trouble for no reason. I haven't spoken with the DA yet, or his lawyer but I'm needing advice on what to do and say. His defense lawyer is wanting to set up a conference call and speak to me but I'm terrified cause I don't want to tell him anything that will get ME in trouble.

This was an argument that got completely out of hand, and we both want to work it out and fix this mess. What are my options? What should I do?

Thanks

Honestly, you should dump the loser and get counseling so you can figure out why you want to get back together with an abuser and how you can avoid repeating that mistake in the future. It will only get worse.

Your boyfriend's lawyer wants a conference call with himself, you, and... who else? Why would you want to participate in that call? What does he hope to accomplish?

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M y question involves criminal law for the state of: Texas
Apparently one of the cops saw us through the window and he saw him on top of me "strangling" me. They busted down the door, took him in and charged him with a 3rd degree felony for dv.

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The state of Texas would appear to have a very solid case against your boyfriend with the cop as witness.

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The fact of the matter is, we do love each other very much and want to both change and attend couples counseling so we can make things work. They released him on bond, and I have been communicating with him nonstop trying to figure out what to do about the situation.

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He says he wants counseling, but other than that, what signs do you see that he is going to change? One sign that is noticeably lacking here is HIM taking responsibility for the consequences he is facing. He says he wants counseling, but he isn't willing to face the actions that got him to this point. That isn't change and if you do choose to take him back, this doesn’t bode well for you because it is a matter of when the situation repeats, not IF. Next time, you may be dead.

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The cops took photos of me from that night, and I was pretty beat up, had a black eye, bruises everywhere on my body and neck and in bad condition. Of course I tried fighting him back but it was all in defense. He didnt have any bruises or scarring. He hired a really good defense lawyer and he is asking me to move back into town so we can attend the couples classes so it will help his case. He says that if I don't, he will have to go to court and they will most likely sentence him.

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Do you know if there a (criminal) restraining order in place? If so, that would pretty much prevent any couples counseling from occurring. I would be surprised if one wasn’t imposed as a bond condition, given this is Texas, and if he violates that order he will go to jail. And while you probably don’t want to hear this, couples counseling is not effective in relationships that have physical violence and is not advised because it often increases the violence rather than diminishing it.

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Hes also asking me to tell his lawyer that I "hit him first" which is completely untrue but I'm willing to do that to protect him however I don't want them to turn it around on me and I end up getting into trouble for no reason. I haven't spoken with the DA yet, or his lawyer but I'm needing advice on what to do and say. His defense lawyer is wanting to set up a conference call and speak to me but I'm terrified cause I don't want to tell him anything that will get ME in trouble.
This was an argument that got completely out of hand, and we both want to work it out and fix this mess. What are my options?

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So, you are considering getting back with a guy that wants you to LIE to protect him, even if the lie could result in criminal charges against you? I understand that you love him, but I hope you understand he may kill you.

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What should I do?

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You should call the National Domestic Violence Hotline and ask for a referral to a local DV advocate. Or find the nearest outreach office and advocate by checking out AARDVARC’s website. After you find a local advocate, make an appointment and go talk with them about the situation you are in. Tell them what you want, hope, fear. They have seen a thousand cases like yours and they won’t judge you for considering staying with your boyfriend. They can tell you about the local legal climate and help you understand what is likely to happen in your boyfriend's criminal case. They can also educate you on domestic violence so that whatever you do, you are making an informed decision.

Good luck.

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.......we had a really bad argument which lead to him slapping me constantly, hitting me, spitting on me, and apparently "strangling" me. I honestly don't remember much about the strangling part but I do remember him covering my mouth on multiple occasions throughout the night so I wouldn't scream.


This was an argument that got completely out of hand, and we both want to work it out and fix this mess. What are my options? What should I do?

Thanks

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I'm no DV expert, BUT, I would say that that a night-long beatdown/strangling, that you have sporadic memory of, is just slightly beyond any sort of "out of hand" descriptor.

If you decide to 'reconcile' with this attempted murderer then at least have some consideration for your loved ones and plan your funeral ahead of time. That in and of itself may assuage some of the heart rending they will be actively engaged in. You know, the "Why did she..........?" type emotions.

So, out of curiosity, what do you need to fix. You had an argument and it led to him slapping, punching, strangling and spitting on you. What issues did you guys have that could have possibly warranted such actions. How much ownership are you willing to take for his actions? What do you expect to get out of couples counseling? Why aould you risk tainting your case by lying? What message do you think that would give him? How much appreciation do you think he'll have for you if you do lie for him? How many times has he put his hands on you prior to this? And finally, can you risk the next time scenario? He almost strangled you to death once...

Guys should not ever hit a girl end of story, and if he is at that level hes a loser. My cousin was in the same sort of situation and she finally dumped the guy cause he beat her too much. She now has a perfect happy life without the guy and has a new boyfriend. There's plenty more fish in the sea, throw him back.