Who is Responsible to Make Arangements if a Visitation is Going to Be Missed

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Illinois

My ex and I have joint custody of my son but she has residential custody. I have visitation 2 nights a week (after work around 5 ish until 8:00 pm) and one night a week on the weeks I get my son for the weekend (every other). Occasionally (maybe once a month) I am not able to pick him up for one of my weekly 3 hour visits. I usually can give her at least a weeks notice.

My issue is she feels if I can’t make it, it is my responsibility to find someone who can watch him those few hours. I’m not trying to abuse it but isn’t that her responsibility as the residential parent? She feels like I am keeping her from moving on with her life. She doesn’t feel she should have to cancel her plans because of me, (even if she doesn’t have any). One thing to add is I don’t really have anyone available to watch him, which she knows, but feels that’s not her problem


What is the Illinois law regarding this. Nothing this specific is discussed in my order. If I can’t make a visit, aren’t I just forfeiting that visit or am I responsible to make arrangements any time I am unable to make it.

The law/order allows you to have visitation. It is not a sentence. You can choose to exercise it or not. She needs to deal with you not exercising it.

Nope, you're not obliged to provided alternate care if you can't pick up your son.

That's up to Mom.

That is what I thought. Thanks!!!

But if you blow off your visitation, no matter how good your reason, you give mom a lot of evidence she can use to argue that visitation needs to be modified because (a) you're not regularly using your time and (b) when you don't give her adequate notice of your change of plans you disrupt her life and plans. She has the right to plan her life as if you'll actually exercise your parenting time, and not have to change or abandon her plans whenever you decide at the last minute that it's not convenient for you to see your child.

Thanks Mr. K. As an FYI, it was for an annual business meeting that happens the same time every year for the last 10 years (9 of which we were married) and I reminder her of the dates a month in advance.

I appreiciate the feedback.