First Time Offense, Marijuana Possession, RCW 69.50.4014

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Washington State

Pulled over for Improper turn, then he proceeds to smell the weed and I hand it over with no hesitation. (I bought 40 dollars worth)
charges me with possession less/equal to 40 grams.

im kind of a first time marijuana user and i dont really know the laws of it but i know its illegal period so no questions asked. im not looking for a way out im only looking for the next best step that i can.
im unemployed and i dont go to school im 20 years old and this is my first offense, i take care of my mother and mentally/physically handicapped brother. i have to help wipe his butt, shower him, feed, exercise, activities, give his medicine and he requires atleast half a day of me watching him (not including all night) just during the daytime he is awake. i have been helping take care of him since i was 14, but now my mother recently has been having health issues and she has been declining. WE ARE BROKE. so there is no one helping me pay for my attorney not only that i have to pay the traffic infractions i got pulled over for which is over $700 dollars. MY MOTHER cannot find out about this drug charge or else she will have a heart attack literally.
I only smoke because its the only thing that can help me get rid of a days worth of stress and to ease my depression and anxiety, and i just had a panic attack driving home after i got the ticket.
no one will ever know of this and i only have been thinking suicide is the only way to get rid of all of this because i cannot handle it anymore especially with this charge ontop.
i was 1 month away from going to MEPS for the army but now that privilege has been taken away and it was the only thing i was gonna because i cannot go to school or work because of my brother.
i assumed my mom was ready to take my brother with her to a better state so he can live better so thats why i was leaving to the army.
i cannot bear to live each second of my life after that charge. not only do i know that i cant get a job or my financial aid i know that ALL my options were tooken away and i cant even afford to pay for my school or go to work because i have no car and no gas money and no nothing at all. i cannot pay those fines period and i dont know what they will do to me in court so i think i might just end my life after they put a huge fine on me

For being so broke, you obviously felt you could afford weed. When you go to court, you have the option of pleading not guilty and requesting a public defender. You aren't going to get a free lawyer here, by trying to manipulate volunteers, it is not that kind of site.

Most states have first offender programs for simple possession. Consult a local lawyer, or see if you qualify for a court-appointed lawyer, and see if you qualify for any first offender programs that will allow you to avoid a conviction. If you insist on playing the victim, and that you can't get through life without using illegal drugs, though, you're going to be a poor candidate for completion - it only makes sense to go for diversion if you're going to get and stay clean, as they'll test you.