Is it Parental Kidnapping to Take the Kids Without Father's Knowledge or Consent
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Virginia
I am a US citizen and have been working overseas in the middle east on Govt. contr. orders, and my wife and our 2 kids came with me shortly I have got here. We all came here on Govt. orders as a family package. My wife and I have had our share of turbulence in the relationship, like any other couple. About 3 years ago, I cam home and didn't find the wife or the kids home. A few hours later, I got the surprise of my life, by her calling me from across the Atlantic with my two kids, and telling me that she had left me and will live back in our home state in Virginia, This came as a complete shock,,,,,,,We were able to calm things down and she eventually came back a month later. when she came back, she promised verbally and via written e-mails, that she WILL NEVER repeat this again and TAKE THE KIDS without my permission again..I still have those e-mails.
fast forward 3 years, about 3 weeks ago, she went with our 2 kids to visit some family to another nearby country about 2 hour flight, for the holidays. she was due to return in a couple days, instead she gave me the surprise of my life again by "taking" the kids back to Virginia, completely without my knowledge, consent, or permission, and saying she is not coming back. She has done it again, after doing it once 3 years ago, and promising not to do it again.
I am completely shocked and down at the moment. She is also an American citizen and became one when I married her and we both got married in Virginia and that's where she is now staying some of her family. We are not divorced or separated. We had our share of issues like any other couple, but this totally caught me my shock and surprise.
I am planning to consult a lawyer ASAP, but what can I do? I want my kids back. she stole them and kidnapped them from me, twice. What are my options? she took them away from their school mid-year, their friends, their comfort environment and from me.
Please please any help or guidance is appreciated.
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
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I want my kids back. she stole them and kidnapped them from me, twice.
No she didn't. She's their mother, you're married, so she has just as much right to take them where she pleases as you do. She does not require your permission to take her children anywhere, just as you don't need permission to take them anywhere. Those e-mails? Mean nothing.
If you want to ensure that she needs your permission to take her own children where she pleases, your option is to divorce her and somehow manage to get 100% physical and legal custody, with no visitation for her.
The only thing guaranteed in that scenario is the divorce. Don't expect that Mom will have no custody and no visitation.
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
AM i missing something here? Any parent can take their kids and end up on the other side of the world, without the other parents consent or permission, and get away with it? doesn't make sense to me.
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
"Get away with it"? "Permission"?
Your wife doesn't require your permission to do ANYTHING at all.
You are missing that you BOTH have equal rights to your children, unless and until there is a court order to the contrary. You can consult an attorney if you choose, but there's nothing you can do to force her to come back to the Middle East with the children. If Mom wants to take the kids back to the US, and there's not a custody order in place prohibiting her from doing so, she can pack up and go home to the US.
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
so if i go back to the US, and bring my kids back without my wife's knowledge, I take it that is perfectly legal as well? thanks.
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
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franc
My wife and I have had our share of turbulence in the relationship, like any other couple. .
What do you mean by turbulent? How do you describe that? How would your wife describe that turbulence?
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franc
fast forward 3 years, about 3 weeks ago, she went with our 2 kids to visit some family to another nearby country about 2 hour flight, for the holidays. she was due to return in a couple days, instead she gave me the surprise of my life again by "taking" the kids back to Virginia, completely without my knowledge, consent, or permission, and saying she is not coming back. .
I seriously doubt that a judge in Virginia is going to order your children to return to the Middle East where you are a US contractor. If your wife has decided to divorce you, it is unlikely she would be able to remain with you on the “family” orders anyway under your contract. Would the contract allow your children to accompany you if you were a single parent?
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franc
I am planning to consult a lawyer ASAP, but what can I do? I want my kids back. she stole them and kidnapped them from me, twice. What are my options? she took them away from their school mid-year, their friends, their comfort environment and from me.
Please please any help or guidance is appreciated.
Do you have employment opportunities in Virginia? How much longer on your contract overseas? Are you a dual citizen? Is your wife? Can you travel to Virginia in the near future?
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
Are you a lawyer?
turbulent i mean we fight about money, about how to raise the kids, about life matters one day, and then we are ok..fight about small stuff, sometimes big stuff...etc...
We are both dual citizens..how can that help or hurt?
-not sure about my contract..it might allow me to have my kids..if not, then i can either find a different local job that allows me to keep my kids,
-we were all just in Virginia a few months ago for a wedding, and all seemed fine..
-I can go back to Virginia and find a job if need be of course///
-i can travel to Virginia in the near future if need be..
-i guess she did her homework and took the kids knowing she can get away with it form what you guys are telling me..
Re: Took the Kids Without Father's Knowldge or Consent, is It Child Kidnapping
The bigger question now (since we got the kidnapping thing out of the way) is who has been their primary caregiver?
Re: Is it Parental Kidnapping to Take the Kids Without Father's Knowledge or Consent
me of course..from my salary and contract they attend the best private schools, live in the best housing, last several years we have been going lavish and luxurious trips and cruises,..i mean since moving overseas, we have been blessed with everything, except this marriage happiness that she keeps ruining..
we have a house in VA in both our names, in which we fully paid it off a few years ago, and I used mainly 90% of my salary savings to pay it off..now we have tenents there, and I belive the first thing she will try to do is to kick the tenants out and move in? can she do that? can I prevent her?
she couldn't find a job in her field, and has been working on and off just to occupy her time here and there..but the kids being with her now will suffer emotionally and will miss their school, their friends, their father, etc, etc..
Re: Is it Parental Kidnapping to Take the Kids Without Father's Knowledge or Consent
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franc
me of course..from my salary and contract they attend the best private schools, live in the best housing, last several years we have been going lavish and luxurious trips and cruises,..
The questions was primary caregiver, not primary provider...
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franc
i mean since moving overseas, we have been blessed with everything, except this marriage happiness that she keeps ruining..
Word choice is interesting.
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franc
we have a house in VA in both our names, in which we fully paid it off a few years ago, and I used mainly 90% of my salary savings to pay it off..now we have tenents there, and I belive the first thing she will try to do is to kick the tenants out and move in? can she do that? can I prevent her?
the tenants have rights and she can't just kick them out and move in on top of them.
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franc
she couldn't find a job in her field, and has been working on and off just to occupy her time here and there..but the kids being with her now will suffer emotionally and will miss their school, their friends, their father, etc, etc..
I am sure the kids do miss you terribly. They would miss their mother terribly if they were in the Middle East and she was in Virginia. I hope that you can find a common country to reside in together for the sake of your kids. OP, I believe you need an attorney in Virginia ASAP, but have a feeling that you may need to return to the states permanently if you want more than a long distance parenting plan. Your wife's shot at claiming to be the primary caregiver is going to be stronger than yours given you have been working to provide such a lavish lifestyle and she has been working only here and there, making her largely a stay at home mom / wife for the bulk of the last 3+ years.
I have a bad sense about this situation and suspect I know the angle your wife would bring to the table, but I hope I am wrong. Good luck.