My 8 Year Old Son Doesn't Want to Go to His Mom on Scheduled Visits

No one here said mommy was super mom, or even an ok mom.

Doesn't really change the answer, ethically or legally. She's still mom, and children follow rules and respect their parents. No buts. Teach your son to do that, even if you feel his situation is less than ideal.

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Quoting Seansdaddy311

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ok so where did anything come up about us drilling him about his visits?he comes home talking about this the only thing we ask s if he had fun and if he took a showe,,,

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And when he goes into detail beyond that you stop him, right? Nope, you let him talk about all this other stuff because you figure you can use it in the future to keep mom away from your boy... because mom is such a pain in your new family.

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he knws t home after dinner its showers then brush teeth.... but becaus nothing is enforced up there he does what he wnts because as SHE puts it in written statements,
imnot a good mommy but im just trying to be his friend"

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So he knows what he SHOULD be doing and doesn't do it. Oh well.

And you want this kid deciding CUSTODY when he can't even figure out he should be showering on his own?

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she knows al about my fiance and i would submit anything she wanted, the proof i had is not going to work no because the person who bought the drugs wont go to court and b like yea that was me

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So, you have nothing. Moving on....

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i really just dont see your point sir. i dont understand im still not putting all mybusiness out there... the attorny knows guess ill stuck to te real lawyers

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if your attorney told you it was okay to ignore a court order based upon the wishes of an 8 year old, your attorney found his JD in the back of a taxicab.

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the officer had to speak with him tomake sure he was healthy and not being held against his will.. the officer himself had gone thru the same thing .. he told us nothin could b done

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Don't take legal advice from a cop. If mom had shown up with the custody order, the officer should have turned the child over. If the officer was doing a goodwill visit, making sure the child was okay was all he was supposed to do.

If I was you, I would get used to seeing your child only occasionally.

um no i dont go thank you i cantrmember the last time i got drunk for christs sake ! i work two jobs right now so that my fiancecan sta home with the children. and honetly where can you come at me saying that? mynew bdbuddy pretend to b mom? she has two children of her own ! She doesnt have time to sit down and"interroate" him... she is the motherly figure in the house to her children i she supposed to shun sean and not b anything to him? i wish i hd a keyboard and enough time to type everythingthat has gone on in the past four years.. myb then i wouldnt b gettin treated like this. if you only knew...guess this was a waste of time... ill stick to the lawyer and the cops here

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Quoting Seansdaddy311

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um no i dont go thank you i cantrmember the last time i got drunk for christs sake ! i work two jobs right now so that my fiancecan sta home with the children. and honetly where can you come at me saying that? mynew bdbuddy pretend to b mom? she has two children of her own ! She doesnt have time to sit down and"interroate" him... she is the motherly figure in the house to her children i she supposed to shun sean and not b anything to him? i wish i hd a keyboard and enough time to type everythingthat has gone on in the past four years.. myb then i wouldnt b gettin treated like this. if you only knew...guess this was a waste of time... ill stick to the lawyer and the cops here

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Oh good grief.

I wish you had a keyboard too, but that's besides the point.

Dad. STOP IT. The LAW says that you MUST make your son available for Mom's visitation. MUST. Not "might", not "kinda sorta will think about it" and certainly not "I'll let him make up his own mind".

THAT is the bottom line.

But you go ahead. Do what you want to do. Let Sean start deciding his own terms.

You'll be back here in about a year, asking us how to enforce visitation because Mom now has custody.

Shaking my head here.

umm every officer and lawyer i hvve tlked to agreed ifthe child is in my possession and doesnot want to go with his mom NO MATTER IF SHE HAS ORDER OR NOT they can not focefully make him go with her
a pain in my newfamly?really? she isnt a pain... we bent over backwards to let her have him when she want until she stopped working with us as well then i went by th paprs and iwas the bad guy. and yea i didnt make my son go tohis moms but only after i had spoke to attorneys andofficers

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Quoting Seansdaddy311

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umm every officer and lawyer i hvve tlked to agreed ifthe child is in my possession and doesnot want to go with his mom NO MATTER IF SHE HAS ORDER OR NOT they can not focefully make him go with her
a pain in my newfamly?really? she isnt a pain... we bent over backwards to let her have him when she want until she stopped working with us as well then i went by th paprs and iwas the bad guy. and yea i didnt make my son go tohis moms but only after i had spoke to attorneys andofficers

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THEY cannot physically force the child to go. That is correct.

BUT YOU CAN AND SHOULD BE DOING THAT.

You're really not helping yourself. You're not understanding a darned thing here, are you? And you're quite plainly not understanding what you've been told by these many cops and lawyers (their numbers appear to have risen somewhat. Odd, that)

Once again. Knock it off, or lose custody.

It's that simple.

Mom may be the worst mother ever, and you might be father of the year (though some of the decisions you've made and written of here don't seem to point to that). Heck, gf might be "motherly" figure of the year. So happy for him that he has you there for him. None of that is really relevant to the fact that your son goes to his mom's whenever she chooses to exercise her time, and that he doesn't choose.

And no, I wouldn't be taking legal advice from a police officer concerning a civil matter. I think I'd also be looking for a more competent attorney (or perhaps listening a little better to the one I do have).

You are the type of father that perpetuates the stereotypes that make it harder for fathers like me when we go in front of our own judges. Please stop. For you own good, and for your kid's.

I give up.

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Quoting FatherWhoWon

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Mom may be the worst mother ever, and you might be father of the year (though some of the decisions you've made and written of here don't seem to point to that). Heck, gf might be "motherly" figure of the year. So happy for him that he has you there for him. None of that is really relevant to the fact that your son goes to his mom's whenever she chooses to exercise her time, and that he doesn't choose.

And no, I wouldn't be taking legal advice from a police officer concerning a civil matter. I think I'd also be looking for a more competent attorney (or perhaps listening a little better to the one I do have).

You are the type of father that perpetuates the stereotypes that make it harder for fathers like me when we go in front of our own judges. Please stop. For you own good, and for your kid's.

I give up.

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Might I co-sign, please?

:)

Absolutely.

Maybe after OP cools down, he'll let some of the things you've said sink in and take them to heart.

Or maybe not. Some people choose to learn their lessons the hard way. Hopefully OP isn't one of them.

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Quoting Seansdaddy311

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umm every officer and lawyer i hvve tlked to agreed ifthe child is in my possession and doesnot want to go with his mom NO MATTER IF SHE HAS ORDER OR NOT they can not focefully make him go with her
a pain in my newfamly?really? she isnt a pain... we bent over backwards to let her have him when she want until she stopped working with us as well then i went by th paprs and iwas the bad guy. and yea i didnt make my son go tohis moms but only after i had spoke to attorneys andofficers

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Okay, you are either of below average intelligence (as evidenced by your inability to complete a single sentence without a typo or a misspelled word) or just don't want to hear anything that doesn't let you completely control every situation.

Enjoy court. Bring all the lawyers and officers (the many many officers and lawyers that are willing to advise you to ignore the self same court orders that they have to execute upon every day) to court with you so that they can all tell the judge his/her order is poopy.

good luck. I would pack a bag of your son's clothes when you go, though.