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Unmarried Relationship, Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants Adoption Placement

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  • 12-12-2011, 11:15 PM
    ZMAP
    Unmarried Relationship, Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants Adoption Placement
    My question involves adoption law for the State of: Washington and Idaho

    Hi, I recently found out an Ex girlfriend of mine was pregnant, we currently are not on good or even talking terms really.

    As of now the only contact I could make with her is via text messaging, and at that it's very easy to block numbers and that would be a very real possibility.

    She feels that she's not at a place in her life where she feels she can be responsible for a child and/or feels that it would threaten her lifestyle.

    I am willing to take responsibility of the child fully.

    There has been very little talk, but I recently have made it clear my intentions, that I am not trying to pursue anything from her, relationship or otherwise, but that if she is going to adopt our child away, I want custody.

    She currently is 3.5 months pregnant and lives in Idaho.

    I am a resident of Washington State.

    I'm looking for advice as to what I could be going through, possible outcomes, risks and consequences.

    This is a big thing for me and I want to do whats best for me and this child but in the back of my mind, I also still care about this woman too, even though she is making it clear that she feels I am trying to meddle with her choice of adoption, I shouldn't get between her and her choice and that she is a force to be reckoned with.
  • 12-12-2011, 11:19 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    What do you want to do?

    If you want to be a father, you should register with the Idaho Putative Father Registry. You will be notified if Mom tries to place the child for adoption without your consent.

    Idaho Putative Father Registry
    Vital Statistics Unit
    PO Box 83720
    Boise, ID 83720-0036
    (208) 334-5988


    Once the child is actually born, you need to file (in Idaho) to establish paternity. Then you can file for custody and/or visitation.
  • 12-12-2011, 11:24 PM
    ZMAP
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    So what rights do I actually have as to her choices with the child?
    Before or after established paternity or Putative Registry?
  • 12-12-2011, 11:27 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    You have no rights at all right now; paternity needs to be established first.

    The PFR protects you (to a degree) from Mom simply claiming that she doesn't know who or where Dad is and thus she should be able to go through with an adoption without you be contacted or notified. It will at least put things on hold until you've taken a paternity test.

    After all, there's no guarantee that you are actually the father.
  • 12-13-2011, 05:58 PM
    kivian
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    Zmap poster should also register in any other states where the baby could be born, like the state where the adoption agency is located. It may not be enough to only register with the putative father registry. Several states require that the biological father support the mother and the child before and after the birth. In a few published cases, fathers have lost their children to adoption or are fighting to overturn adoptions because the courts said they didn't adequately support the child and mother. In one case, the father said the mother was told by the adoption agency not to accept gifts or money for the child while she was pregnant, but he gave her things for her other child and helped her with expenses not directly related to the pregnancy. The court ruled that he hadn't met the legal requirements and allowed the adoption.
  • 12-13-2011, 06:07 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    Quote:

    Quoting kivian
    View Post
    Zmap poster should also register in any other states where the baby could be born, like the state where the adoption agency is located. It may not be enough to only register with the putative father registry. Several states require that the biological father support the mother and the child before and after the birth. In a few published cases, fathers have lost their children to adoption or are fighting to overturn adoptions because the courts said they didn't adequately support the child and mother. In one case, the father said the mother was told by the adoption agency not to accept gifts or money for the child while she was pregnant, but he gave her things for her other child and helped her with expenses not directly related to the pregnancy. The court ruled that he hadn't met the legal requirements and allowed the adoption.


    Do you have a link to that case? I'd be very interested to read it.

    (Less so if it didn't involve Idaho or WA, but still interested)
  • 12-13-2011, 08:48 PM
    kivian
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Do you have a link to that case? I'd be very interested to read it.

    (Less so if it didn't involve Idaho or WA, but still interested)


    The case is Roe v. Reeves and it was heard in the US Supreme Court after the putative father appealed the South Carolina Supreme Court decision. You can google both the South Carolina Supreme Court ruling and the US Supreme Court ruling. The US Supreme Court ruling cited Idaho's state code on support requirements for requiring unwed birth father's consent to adoption.


    "Idaho Code § 16-1504(2)(b)(iii) (providing that a
    birth father’s consent to a newborn adoption is not
    required if he knows about the pregnancy and fails to
    pay “a fair and reasonable amount of the expenses
    incurred in connection with the mother’s pregnancy
    and the child’s birth, in accordance with his means,
    and when not prevented from doing so by the person
    or authorized agency having lawful custody of the
    child”);"
  • 12-13-2011, 09:16 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    Holy moly, did you read the details?!

    Roe v. Reeves

    15 year old mother already had a child when she became pregnant with the second child!

    But that aside, I actually agree with the dissenting parties. I do feel the decision was wrong, and for the same reasons outlined.

    Thank you for posting this - it's now saved. :)
  • 12-24-2011, 01:11 PM
    ZMAP
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    If the child is adopted, how likely will I be financially responsible for any costs associated with birth or the child, etc... until the adoption is final?
  • 12-24-2011, 04:36 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Father Wants Custody, Mother Wants to Adopt
    At least somewhat likely. Nobody can say with any certainty though.
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