How Much Am I Liable for when I Was Unemployed

My question involves child support in the State of: Rhode Island

I was ordered to pay nearly $800/month in support for one child when earning appx $6K/month. I left RI for work in CA and was still earning about the same; no need to change the order. Then I got laid off, was commission-only and was not able to collect unemployment. Was also not able to travel back to RI to file for a change. I continued to pay the support until I ran out of people to borrow from and stuff to sell. I am in arrears for about 15 months of support. I did not have earnings for 2 years. My question is about my current obligation. The child is now an adult and I am trying to help with bills child has now but want to pay the arrears as well but... do I have to do that? I am not sure if my ex had assistance from welfare but I would assume that they would be seeking money from me if that had occurred. I want to pay what is due my ex for caring for my child, but I also need to be able to be there for my child now. It is not possible for me to do both. Would it be fair for me or prevent legal action if I send ANY payment to my ex toward the back support? And if I wound up in court, if anyone has been in this situation in RI, what kind of outcome could I expect? Thanks for any guidance or experience.

What does your ex say about the situation? She must know you have not earned anything the past few years. What does she want to happen?

You're under no obligation - legally - to keep supporting your adult child. You are however still legally obliged to pay off the arrears. Not doing so is a little unfair to Mom, no?

If you fail to do so, you can face numerous consequences such as losing your driver's license, your tax refunds being intercepted and worst case - jail time.

You can try to negotiate with Mom, if she's willing to work with you.

Your adult child's bills are just that - your adult child's bills. :)

Hello Dogmatique. Thanks for the sage advice. I totally agree that not paying off the arrears is unfair to Mom, and I have every intention of doing so--as I said, I want to pay what is due my ex for caring for my child. Please note there has been no action taken against me for the support in arrears and this is not registered through the system in RI; I pay her directly. If I attempt to pay any amount toward that amount in arrears, would that satisfy any attempt to take me to court for the arrears amount? I guess that is more the question right now. I also understand that the adult child's bills are not my responsibility, but the child also was not able to benefit from my support while living with the mother. Helping now, since the mother will do nothing for the child now, seemed to me an honorable gesture.

What do you mean by "this is not registered"? You don't have to pay through the state in order to have arrears recognized; they accumulate regardless and all Mom has to do is file contempt for non-payment.

To answer your question, no - paying a little (or a lot) would not prevent Mom from taking you to court.

If mom is not on board, you can expect, at anytime, to receive a license suspension or contempt charges if you do not pay the arrears.

According to the RI website for family services, the arrears is "automatically reported", not requiring action from the parent. That is what I was referring to as "registered". I have all my receipts and if and when she decides to take me to court, I will be prepared. But I cannot be expected to pull the entire arrears amount out of the sky or lose my license or go to jail for attempting to take care of my obligation. That is my point here. If I lose my license or go to jail, I lose my job, which means she gets no money. I'll just keep paying her whatever I can afford... or even what I can't afford because it's the right thing to do. And she can take me to court if so inclined, I guess.

Usually, you can play lets make a deal. I would hold $3k in reserve. Do not offer it up, unless you are threatened. Then ask them if you can work something out to avoid a suspension. You need to make payments though. It will sometimes make you less of a priority.

If payments are made through the state, then yes - the arrears are of course automatically tallied. But since you're not paying through the state, it's simply a case of whether or not you can prove what you've paid to Mom.

(This is actually one reason I recommend that whenever possible, the parent pays through the State. MUCH easier to keep an accurate track :) ).

If Mom decides not to pursue it in court, that's good for you. The easiest way to make sure she doesn't of course is to keep paying on what you owe (and yes, keeping receipts!).

So, at the end of the day, it's your choice, Dad. You can stop paying and risk Mom taking you to court (and all the fun that goes along with that), or you can keep paying the arrears until the debt is paid.