Dad Wants Almost 50/50 Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kentucky.


A little background. My son is a year and nine months old. When he was born, my ex(his father) was with me in the hospital, but he only got one day off of work so when he left the next day I signed the birth certificate without him. Someone from the hospital came and talked to me when my ex had left and told me that he didn't have to be on the birth certificate if I didnt want him to be. So that I could maintain total control over my son for the time being. She said that I could add my ex's name to the birth certificate with a affidavit of paternity. When my ex got off work and came back to the hospital, he found out about me signing the birth certificate and was pretty mad. I lied to him and told him that the nurses at the hospital needed me to go ahead and get it out of the way, and that we could sign an affidavit of paternity when we got out of the hospital. He didn't really believe that story, but he was ok with adding his name when we got out of the hospital so he dropped it.

When we got home, he started asking me about once a week if we could put his name on the birth certificate. I didnt really want to do it so soon, so I just made up excuses to put it off. It gradually became something that we fought more and more to the point that during the last month of our relationship we fought about it constantly. He told me that if I didn't do it or give him a good reason why I wouldn't then I needed to leave. So I left. Thinking about it now, I'm not sure why I just didn't go ahead and put him on the birth certificate. Two days later, he called me and asked me one last time if I would do it. I told him no. He went to the County Attorney that day and filed a putative(spl?) father claim. Me and my son were summoned the court house two weeks later to submit to DNA testing. The results came back about a week later determining that my ex was my sons father. We now have a support hearing in the middle of December.

During the two months we have been broke up. My mother has helped me get a place to live. My ex calls daily asking to see my son, most of the time I dont let him and he ends up seeing him about an hour or two a week. I dont let my son go to my ex's house or go anywhere without me. I'm afraid that he would take him and not give him back. It's not that I dont want him to see him, its just this break up has been hard on me and its easier not to have him around so much.

I work as a server at a resort, I work from 3-11 pm from Wensday thru Saturday. On the weekends I sometimes get out in the early morning. So when I am working my mom watchs my son, and he usually stays the night with her on Friday and Saturday because I dont want to wake him up so early in the morning. My ex works Monday thru Thursday 6-4:30p.m. And he said he wanted to get my son Thursday when he gets off work and give him back Sunday afternoon. I dont want that schedule and I really would like to have every other weekend at most.

My ex has been in a suboxone rehab program for almost 3 years. I've never liked this, and I dont really want my son around it. Will the court think that is a viable reason, or will the fact that we have all lived together make it not important?

Lastly, After the DNA test came back, my ex got all the paperwork done at his job to get my son on his health insurance. My job doesn't offer it and he was on state insurance. I dont know if the fact that I can't supply it will make a difference when we go to court. He also has an assault charge like 3 years ago, but it was put on a diversion.

So now the questions.

My ex lives in the same house that my son lived in his entire life until these last two months, will that affect the courts decision when determing custody/visitation? My apartment just has 1 bedroom but I am going to move into a bigger place as soon as I can.

Is it possible that the court will give him that schedule that he wants? He seems to think so because he says that I cant spend time with him and he can.

If anyone can tell me how they think this will play out, it will help. This is my first child and I've never been through this before, and I have a 100 people telling me how to handle it a 100 different ways. So any advice would help.

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Quoting cat1988

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My ex has been in a suboxone rehab program for almost 3 years. I've never liked this, and I dont really want my son around it. Will the court think that is a viable reason, or will the fact that we have all lived together make it not important?

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But you chose him to be the father of your child DURING that program. You've told the court that you're okay with that.

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Lastly, After the DNA test came back, my ex got all the paperwork done at his job to get my son on his health insurance. My job doesn't offer it and he was on state insurance. I dont know if the fact that I can't supply it will make a difference when we go to court. He also has an assault charge like 3 years ago, but it was put on a diversion.

So now the questions.

My ex lives in the same house that my son lived in his entire life until these last two months, will that affect the courts decision when determing custody/visitation? My apartment just has 1 bedroom but I am going to move into a bigger place as soon as I can.

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Location isn't as important than who has been the child's primary caregiver.

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Is it possible that the court will give him that schedule that he wants? He seems to think so because he says that I cant spend time with him and he can.

If anyone can tell me how they think this will play out, it will help. This is my first child and I've never been through this before, and I have a 100 people telling me how to handle it a 100 different ways. So any advice would help.

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What exactly is your ex wanting?

If you're working full time and your Mom is taking care of kiddo, Dad stands at least a fair chance of getting custody - depending on HIS work schedule and circumstances of course.

Withholding the child - even though there are no court orders - isn't going to be a point in your favor. The court will NOT approve of you apparently punishing your child because you're mad at your ex.

My ex works the same days every week, Monday through Thursday 6-4:30 pm. He wants to pick up my son when he gets off of work on Thursday and then keep him until Sunday afternoon and he said he will split the holidays.

I work Wensday through Saturday and sometimes Sunday mornings. I only work nights and my hours are usually 3pm-11pm but on the weekends I usually dont get out until 1-2 am.

My mom just watchs him when I work and when I take a college course on monday for about 3 hours, and he usually only stays the night there on Friday and Saturday.