Blocked from My Son's Life, but Not Giving Up

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: WA

5 years ago my wife and I got a divorce, she was given custody and I was given visitation, and in these 5 years, she has moved, presumably, within the state of Washington. She has changed her phone number, and also blocked my emails. All of which was done without the knowledge of the court, and leaving me without a way to stay in my Son's life. I am paying Child Support, to include the amout that is past due from when I was unable to work. After dealing with DCS in Washington, and 3 different "case workers"(the last of which informing me that her department was nothing more than a glorified collection agency) I have just had enough, and I want to be in my son's life, I have no problem paying what I owe, but he is my son too, and he deserves the love from BOTH of his parents not just 1, and not to just be used as a pawn in a game of Human Chess, what can I do? Is there any possibility of me getting full custody? I have not given up so far...and I will NEVER give up

What did the judge say when you went back to court and asked for her to be held in contempt?

Since the divorce, I have moved out of state, and I wrote a letter to the clerk att: to the Judge, and never heard back from them. I included my Son's name, ex wife's name, my name, case number, and what date the hearing was held on. But to answer your question, the Judge said nothing. Any suggestions?

If you are so unaware of your rights and the operation of the legal system that you believe you can send an ex parte communication to the judge and that doing so will result in somebody at the court investigating and fixing all of your problems, you really need a lawyer.

Bring a proper motion.

Quote:

---

Quoting upset dady

---

Since the divorce, I have moved out of state, and I wrote a letter to the clerk att: to the Judge, and never heard back from them. I included my Son's name, ex wife's name, my name, case number, and what date the hearing was held on. But to answer your question, the Judge said nothing. Any suggestions?

---

The judge never saw your "letter". You must FILE in court.

I would strongly suggest you get an attorney.

That actually was what the lawyer in Washington told me to do in reference to my ex wife's failure to comply with the parenting agreement, using the case number that was assigned to our divorce

Was that because you weren't willing to retain the lawyer to represent you, and all he could do was suggest a "Hail Mary"?

Retain a better lawyer and bring a proper motion.

I can't afford to fly across country, taking time away from my job, to file in court. The Pierce County Superior Court's website even states for cases that were heard in their jurisdiction, to "contact the presiding judge" which is what I had done

You know what "Knowitall" I came here for advice, not wiseass coments. So if that's all you have, then just move on, and let someone who can give REAL advice...not "Hail Mary" advice. If I can't afford to fly across country, what makes you think I could afford a Lawyer with a $5,000 retainer fee, and $250 per hour fee that 5 out of the 10 I called quoted me at, 3 of the others wanted even more, 1 was so expensive that she wouldn't even give me her rates, and the 10th wasn't even taking on any more cases.

I don't know what you may be thinking, but I'm not some Johnny Dumb Dumb, that doesn't know the difference between my rear and a hole in the ground, I DO have life experience, and don't deal with ignorant scum, like you, who have nothing better in life to do then trying to make others feel stupid about their lack of knowledge.

If you choose not to take the steps necessary to see your child, that's your choice. Getting snippy with me doesn't shift the responsibility for your choices from you.

Quote:

---

what can I do?

---

First, you need to FIND OUT where your child actually is. Generally petitions must be brought with the court that issued the order, but if you know exactly which county the child resides in, filing there may shorten and ease the complications of the child now potentially living in a different jurisdiction and mom fighting for the case to be brought there. You can investigate on your own, or shell out a few bucks to a PI with access to some savvy databases, who can likely find her rather quickly. Then you'll need to file a motion for contempt - keeping in mind that the judge isn't going to be at ALL impressed that you didn't take these steps for the better part of 5 YEARS.

Quote:

---

Is there any possibility of me getting full custody?

---

None. Even worst case, like if mom were in a coma, the child would have already been placed with an appropriate care giver, and the court isn't going to traumatize the child by tearing them away from the only parent they've known for 5 years and turn them over to a virtual stranger. As far as the court will be concerned, this will be considered a "first offense" on mom's part, since this will be the first time you've brought it to the court's attention. MULTIPLE issues over time can be grounds for change of custody, but that requires that YOU make appropriate efforts to actually exercise your visitation and PROMPTLY bring any issues related to mom's hinderance to the court. The court isn't going to be nearly as receptive to a complaint that hasn't been addressed for such a length of time as they would to one that was newly occurring and was followed up in a timely manner.

The realistic answer, as much as you may not want to hear it, is that after this amount of time, you're going to NEED an attorney - and you'd be better off to have a PI as well. (Some attorneys retain PI's, and their fees are generally higher, so as you continue to check around for an attorney in WA, ask if they have in-house PI's that can help, or if they can make a referral to one.)