Father Parental Right Aor Custody and Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: South Carolina

My question is related to how to get visitation of my child them establish custody.

My EX,(I was not married too) is a mother of 2 beautiful children of which I care dearly for both children. We have not been together in over 5 years since she 1st found out she was pregnant or a month later. Well I have tried to talking and respecting the fact she is the mother of my child, which fell on deaf ears or just didn’t matter
My son was born in 2008 I came to find out about 2 days after the fact but was never told which hospital , So I got to visits an meet my son about 2 weeks later , during this time she sent me a email that we had discussed to make arrangement for payments and Visitation. The 1st year was a substantial amount of money enough for me to rent out my living arrangement for one year and move into a place with my friends after the 1st year it’s was made lower and I was able to move back home by working a second job The documentation provided me the day I could visit my son and I was told that was verbal told that it will change in time, it never did change. I had a problem with this but wasn’t going to sacrifice anytime with my son . The problem I had with the emailed documentation was she didn’t let me visits with my son outside of the presence of them being her family. The 1st year during visitation I s bought up the fact that my name wasn’t on the birth certificate and why is it that I cannot be put on the birth certificate now, I was told she wouldn’t allow that to happen, which made me feel like she was using me or extorting money from me . I paid for food and diapers and support all through the 4 yrs or longer ,every time I would visits outside the house she would need something else for baby which I did to make sure the baby wasn’t without . this went on and is still happening, (actually a few time I have been told by her that they do not have anything in the house that the baby will eat ), That hurts , so I go out and get food and diapers or they meet me an fill up the cart or send me message to bring things on my visitation days
Now time has gone by I deicide that nothing changed in 4 year or more and it may never change unless I take drastic action. I honor the fact she is the mother of my child and believe she is a good mom, but in the same sense I feel I deserve not to be extorted for funds every time for above and beyond the agreed amount Please can someone tell me what to do without causing her 1st child and my child any kind of heart ache.
I do not want to hurt her but believe the path during this time has been written on the wall
I really just want to be more them an 8 hour a week father to my child I would like to see about shared or joint custody of not I am also considering any suggestion

:wallbang:

You said you and Mom haven't been together for more than 5 years.

The three year old cannot be your child biologically, correct?

So are we just talking about one child? How old is that child?

The order of events is this:

First, you are established, LEGALLY, as the father. This happens either by you signing the birth certificate, by filing an Acknowledgement of Paternity - but given the ages of the child(ren), those windows have closed. If you haven't done one of those things by now, you'll need to file a paternity case in the county court where the child lives.

Then, once established as the father, you can bring a case for visitation.

The is no question about the children being mine , we both have messages and they child looks excatly like me , the child has more of my features then hers or anyone in her family The child is mine I have no doubt I apologies about the dates , just frustrated

How long can these case take , I mean I am sure they set a time frame from the date it was bought to court ? or would it be easier to get a parternaity test done by social services ?

You could open a child support case yourself - that might be the fastest way to get paternity established. Then you would (assuming you're the father - and honestly Dad, what the kids look like has nothing to do with it. Read through some old threads here.....) file for custody and visitation.

It can take up to a year (and in some cases beyond that) before a visitation order is finally entered.

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Quoting tailoji

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The is no question about the children being mine , we both have messages and they child looks excatly like me , the child has more of my features then hers or anyone in her family The child is mine I have no doubt I apologies about the dates , just frustrated

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People tell me all the time that my oldest has my eyes and smile. Only problem is that she is my step daughter and I had absolutely no contribution to her gene pool. You will find that the argument that "she looks excatly like me" holds no weight in court.

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How long can these case take , I mean I am sure they set a time frame from the date it was bought to court ? or would it be easier to get a parternaity test done by social services ?

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The only place you can establish paternity is in a court of law. The wheels of justice move slowly.

By the way, any monies you have given her up to this time can be considered by the court to be a gift.... any you may need to pay arrears. It is also not uncommon for all parents to share expenses above and beyond the normal child support amount.