Father Abusing the "No Smoking Pot" Court Order

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan


I seem to be in a sticky situation and I'm not quite sure what to do about it because everything seems so "he says/she says".

To make a long story short, my daughter's father chose to NOT be a part of her life until she was 2 1/2. When he decided to come into the picture, I made the mistake of not making things legal and I just let him see her. After about 9 months it came to my attention that her father was smoking pot in front of her as well as dealing drugs. When I became aware of the issues I decided to set ground rules (I still wanted my daughter to see her father). He took me to court because he didn't want a set schedule, he wanted to come and go as he pleased.

The concerns of drug usage and selling were brought to the Judge's attention. However I had no proof of the drug selling (I had pay pal accounts, which he used to sell drugs showing substantial, consistant deposits). This is not me over reacting or falsifying information. He openly admitted this to me and clearly no one is selling a "hat" or a "tshirt" to the same person every week for $700+. Unfortunately they still wouldn't use this as proof and he has a medical marijuana card to legalize his pot smoking.

There was however, a court order made that he is to NOT smoke pot during any of the times that our daughter is in his care. I was instructed to go directly back to court or the police if she were to ever come home smelling like pot. After an 8 hour day of playing outside the scent is certainly not going to stick to her clothing, but I knew he was going to continue smoking pot while she is there.

My daughter is now 4 years old and has begun telling myself and her grandmother recently that her daddy smokes while driving her in the car. He doesn't smoke cigarettes, not that it would be any better. She told me mother today that her daddy smokes and it gets in her head. That statement right there absolutely makes me feel that she's getting a contact high. If he's driving around lighting one up while she's in the backseat in that enclosed car, she's definetely going to feel something for it.

He's very open and trusting with me (I don't know why) and shares everything with me, despite all of our past court battles. He even informed me on a recent out of state trip with our daughter that he shipped himself pot, so that he could smoke/sell while he was out of town. He simply hollowed out a candle, filled it with pot and shipped it to his hotel.

I've googled drug testing, but everything is pretty clear that second hand smoke will NOT be detected in a drug test.

I'm stumped on what to do... Everything is my word against his and I feel that the courts will not take the word of a 4 year old child into consideration. Even if they were, she's going to say he's smoking... she doesn't know the difference between cigarettes or weed, he'll just deny it.

I want my daughter to see her father and have a relationship with him but I don't want her to be harmed or raised to think that this type of behavior is acceptable.

Any advice or suggestions on what to do???

Actually, marijuana can often be detected in a child who has had closed-in exposure. What you need to do next time is IMMEDIATELY take her to either your pediatrician or an urgent care facility and have her tested.

You're correct - a 4 year old's words are not going to carry any weight.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Actually, marijuana can often be detected in a child who has had closed-in exposure. What you need to do next time is IMMEDIATELY take her to either your pediatrician or an urgent care facility and have her tested.

You're correct - a 4 year old's words are not going to carry any weight.

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This is exactly what you need to do, and by immediately that would be right after she is returned. For one it will not stay in the child's system to long, as it is second hand and for another, if you wait and say take her the next day, then dad can say it is from you. If she tests positive, then you can either write FOC a letter, asking them to investigate dad's contempt of order here, or file directly with the court. It will cost a filing fee with the court, however it is faster then going through FOC, you cut out one step.

You said dad has a medical marijuana card to smoke, does this card also allow him to sell to other medical marijuana card holders? It's pretty easy to get that to. I believe they can also sell extra to establishments. Before I go accusing him of selling pot, I would find out if he is actually legally selling it. What is dad's actual medical condition? You can google online and it will tell you the actual conditions that qualify for a medical marijuana card in Mi. If this were to go to court, I would ask the court that dad provides Dr proof of his condition that allows him to have the card. There are many Dr's in Mi that hand these cards out like candy, but I do know that they are stating to crack down on this and prosecute ones who are just handing them out like candy.