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Changing a Minor's Last Name with an Absent Father

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  • 09-24-2011, 10:29 PM
    peep87x
    Changing a Minor's Last Name with an Absent Father
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: New York



    Hi there, I need help with understanding what I need to do in order to change my three year old's last name. Her "father" is on her birth certificate but has not been in contact with us since she was 5 weeks old. I do not know his address or city all I know is that he lives somewhere in PA. There is a recorded history of abuse with the police. How can I have her last name changed to my now husband and I's last name without knowing where he is? What would the courts do? Would the courts make me wait until they found him or do they give him a certain time frame to reply or to be found? Is his rights as a parent forfeited if he is not found?
  • 09-24-2011, 10:34 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    You can't.

    You'll need permission from either Dad, or the court. If you need to notify Dad by publication (and this isn't always easy in NY and PA), you'll need an attorney.

    Instead, why don't you think about a real stepparent adoption?
  • 09-24-2011, 10:36 PM
    cyjeff
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    Nope. That can't happen without the permission of the father of the child... and most judges will have a real problem with you changing a child's last name to a step parent's name.

    You see, that could be seen as a "back door" adoption.... where a person ASSUMES the rights of a parent even though he/she does not have the legal right to do so... effectively replacing the parent for all intents and purposes.

    Best solution is to have your husband ADOPT the child. That is not a DIY project and you should consider the services of an attorney.

    A parent that cannot be located can be served via public notification, but a judge has to authorize that measure.
  • 09-25-2011, 08:38 AM
    peep87x
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    so if I have him adopt her then I could change her last name? I've read a lot about step parent adoption for my state and it seems pretty clear to me but I will hire a lawyer.
  • 09-25-2011, 08:42 AM
    jk
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    there is rarely anything clear, to the point of removing possible problems and challenges in the future, when it comes to adoptions. A little mistake can allow a challenge later. Get the assistance of a lawyer to be sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed.

    Once the child is adopted, as the legal parents, you would have the right to change the name of the child to match yours. In fact, if you didn't do so I think you would get some odd looks from the judge.
  • 09-25-2011, 08:45 AM
    peep87x
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    So what I'm getting from this is adoption is the best way to go. Thank you all so much.
  • 09-25-2011, 10:19 AM
    cyjeff
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    Quote:

    Quoting peep87x
    View Post
    So what I'm getting from this is adoption is the best way to go. Thank you all so much.

    There are additional reasons for your husband to adopt, of course. Once he is seen as the legal parent to the child, he will be able to request school information, make medical decisions for the child and a host of other options that he cannot now legally do.
  • 09-25-2011, 07:05 PM
    peep87x
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    Yes he was planning to adopt her but i wasn't sure to change her name first or do the adoption :)
  • 09-25-2011, 07:12 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing a Minors Last Name with an Absent Father
    Much easier to do the adoption - the name change can be included as part of the "package", so to speak.

    Be sure you want to go that route though. As yourself if you get divorced are you going to be ok with your husband getting custody and you paying child support?

    Ask him the same thing.

    :)
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