Just Got Temp. Custody of My Son, What Can Mom Do Now

Well, the good thing right now is that I have him, and he would have been with me for a little over 2 months before we go back to court. He hasn't for one moment said he wanted to go home or misses mom or home. He know's he has it better here, i guess he will have to tell them who he wants to stay with when we go to court.

I agree with Dog on this one. I could see this possibly going your way if you lived in the states, however you are out of the country. That will also be a factor in the judge's decision.

In regards to your son telling the court where he wants to stay, I highly doubt a judge would put much weight on what an 8 year old wishes.

I will be moving back to the states within the year, so that is not a problem. The judge knows that i live overseas, but I fall under US jurisdiction because I work for the US gov't here. Basically, what the judge says - goes. The judge did ask when i was moving to the US before he signed, i told him within the year and he said "good". So don't know if that helps.

So, I have had my son for over 2 weeks already and not once has he said he wanted to go back to mom. I have asked him what he wants, and he continues to say he wants to stay with me. He see's how much better life can be. When his mom calls him, she always tells him that he is going back to live with her. I believe that is wrong to say, it just confuses him. I want to keep my son, and know his life will be much better and brighter with me.

Anything more i can do to try and come out ontop? I just want the best for him, and he obviously knows where that is.

Both you and mom need to leave him out of it. STOP ASKING HIM WHERE HE WANTS TO LIVE. The real answer is that he wants to live with his mommy and daddy who love each other and don't fight. Can you give him that?

Love eachother? we were never married. its a long story, but we haven't been together for over 8 years.. so that will never happen. I want the best for my son, I am not telling him where to stay, but i do need to know what he wants. Its his right and also I don't want him to feel bad because mom keeps telling him that he is coming home.. etc.

Again, he does not get to choose. That will be up to the judge, so stop asking him. Honestly, do you think even if he wanted to live with mom he would tell you? Don't you think he thinks that might hurt your feelings?

Also, it is not his right he is not of age to be able to choose where he wants to live.

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Quoting Jay.E

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So, I have had my son for over 2 weeks already and not once has he said he wanted to go back to mom. I have asked him what he wants, and he continues to say he wants to stay with me. He see's how much better life can be. When his mom calls him, she always tells him that he is going back to live with her. I believe that is wrong to say, it just confuses him. I want to keep my son, and know his life will be much better and brighter with me.

Anything more i can do to try and come out ontop? I just want the best for him, and he obviously knows where that is.

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Honestly both of you need to stop putting your son in the middle of this.

Your son does NOT know what's best for him and you're wrong for asking him where he wants to live. It's not his decision, and that's not only giving him too much power but it's putting him in the terrible position of having to pick between a parent.

Not. Good.

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Quoting Jay.E

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Love eachother? we were never married. its a long story, but we haven't been together for over 8 years.. so that will never happen. I want the best for my son, I am not telling him where to stay, but i do need to know what he wants. Its his right and also I don't want him to feel bad because mom keeps telling him that he is coming home.. etc.

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I'm not saying it is a realistic desire. But it is very likely his secret hope.

What he wants doesn't matter in this case, what matters is what is best for him. Normally, parents get to decide what is best for their children. When mom and dad cannot agree, that tells the court that they must decide.

From mom's point of view, she may feel that her son is terrified having been ripped away from her, his home, his school and even his country. She may be trying to reassure him that she is doing everything possible to fix it.

I would strongly suggest that you sit you son down and tell him that you and mom both love him very much and that the two of you have asked a judge to help you work together to be good parents; that he is not to worry about grown-up stuff and that you and mom are going to work together to be good parents; that he does not have to pick one of you, that it is okay to love BOTH of you.