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Should I Warn Wife That Her Husband is Making Menacing Comments About Her

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  • 08-20-2011, 11:45 AM
    zatoichi
    Should I Warn Wife That Her Husband is Making Menacing Comments About Her
    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Maine

    I live in another state and am the ex-girlfriend of a man who was embroiled in a very acrimonious divorce with one minor child.

    I know, dating a guy who is not quite divorced yet- bad idea. :wallbang:

    I left him after tiring of his constant whining about his wife, his money, etc but what really got me the most were his comments like, "I fantasize about killing her, you know."

    We went on a brief road trip and while relaxing in the hotel swimming pool, he fixed his gaze on a father and son at the other end who were tossing a football back and forth, and he said, "Notice how they aren't talking about the mother."

    Recently ran into a friend of his and we traded notes. He told me the ex-bf said similar things to him. "She can't collect child support if she's dead."

    Ex has a 2008 arrest and conviction for domestic violence and lost his right to teach in the state so he works in another profession in another state and comes back to Maine on vacations where he parents his child.

    Should the wife be warned of these comments? I am torn between contacting her and minding my own business. As the ex-gf naturally he would defend himself by saying I am a psycho, etc (all his exes are "psycho.")
  • 08-21-2011, 07:26 PM
    drthyrd
    Re: Should I Warn Wife That Her Husband is Making Menacing Comments About Her
    What do you think the wife should do with this knowlege after you potentially tell her? I think your answer to that question holds the key to what you should do.

    If you think the ex-wife should take some legal action to get a restraining order or modify her custody agreement than you need to decide how you will respond if she asks for your help as a witness. If you think she is in danger, are you willing to be called as a witness to testify to these comments? If yes, than by all means tell her. If you aren't willing to go on the record where it matters,- to a court, than you may be placing her in fear but tying her hands to take any action to avoid the threat.

    If she requested your help in a legal setting and you wouldn't be comfortable assisting (or worse might retreat from your comments because you don't want to be in the middle or don't want your ex to come after you) than perhaps a more general warning would be more appropriate. Something like " I thought you should know that your ex displays a great deal of bitterness still about the divorce and I think you should use caution during custody exchanges by bringing a third party with you."
  • 08-21-2011, 08:15 PM
    zatoichi
    Re: Should I Warn Wife That Her Husband is Making Menacing Comments About Her
    I thought about all those issues and I must say my biggest concern is being pulled into this mess of theirs. She was with him for ten years and knows full well what a hot head he is. Thanks for your help.
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