Toddler Breastfeeding and Overnight Visitation in Oregon

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oregon

I'm facing a custody dispute with my girlfriend of nearly 4 years, and would like to see full custody due to her continued untreated problems with horading making her unable to provide a healthy and clean home environment for our child. I've been extremely involved with our child and we have a very close relationship.

Problem is so far, I was unable to get overnight weekend visitation with our child in a temporary parenting time hearing because my ex brought up the fact that she is continuing to breastfeed and co-sleep with our nearly 3 year old child - a bone of contention, as she has refused to eliminate this while we were together.

How can I fight this, and is there any point and which breastfeeding would not interfere with my at least obtaining overnight visitation?

With regards to the hoarding issue, the atty I consulted said I really need to hire a parenting evaluator (think this is what he called it), who would evaluate both of our homes and make a determination as to who could provide the best environment for our child. This would cost around 4K and that's not an option, as my income is so low I qualify for the state's reduced atty fee program. Anyone have alternative ideas?

Thank you

I'm actually surprised that you weren't allowed to get overnights - she can pump milk and I cannot see any reason why you shouldn't have overnights if you've been involved from the beginning.

With regards to the hoarding issue, the attorney was pretty much on the ball. You could request a GAL instead - this tends to be cheaper, and the GAL (guardian ad litem) will act on the best interests of the child.

What do your current court orders say about visitation?

Thank you for the GAL suggestion - I will research that further. I just had the hearing and am waiting for the written orders, but my understanding is that I only get visitation from 8am to 6 and am unclear if that is Fri, Sat, Sun or only one weekend day, EVERY OTHER WEEK! I just moved in with my parents two hours away now, so the poor kid would have to be in the car for 4 of my 9 visitation hours, which is hardly workable or have no place to nap if I stayed in town, not to mention the fact that his mother lets him stay up till 11 or 12 at night and sleep till 10, so his getting up at 8 is hardship enough.

Prior to your moving, how often did you see kiddo?

(There is a reason why I'm asking).

Wait... breastfeeding a three year old?

The WHO recommends nursing til the age of 2, and longer if both mother and child so desire. It's really not all that uncommon.

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Quoting LawResearcherMissy

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The WHO recommends nursing til the age of 2, and longer if both mother and child so desire. It's really not all that uncommon.

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this is true, I know one guy who is like 40 years old and I think his mom still breast feeds him. Well, figuratively speaking that is.

This whole breastfeeding someone who has a mouth full of teeth and is walking, talking and carrying on a conversation is just frightening...

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Quoting CourtClerk

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This whole breastfeeding someone who has a mouth full of teeth and is walking, talking and carrying on a conversation is just frightening...

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You need to meet my sister.

She breastfed all three of hers until they were almost 4. You know the eldest (she's the musical genius), and the two boys are so ahead it's not even funny. Do I agree with her parenting style? Eh....maybe. Or not so much. But they did something right.

But that aside - breastfeeding shouldn't be a reason for Dad not to have overnights if he's been a regular, consistent part of the child's life so far.

My kid skipped a grade and almost skipped a second one, but for the fact that I wouldn't allow the second skipping. He was bottle fed.

Maybe he gets his smarts from his mother (who was also bottle fed):D

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Quoting CourtClerk

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My kid skipped a grade and almost skipped a second one, but for the fact that I wouldn't allow the second skipping. He was bottle fed.

Maybe he gets his smarts from his mother (who was also bottle fed):D

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If yours wasn't already promised to someone else, I'd have him signed up right for my niece ;) :D

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Prior to your moving, how often did you see kiddo?

(There is a reason why I'm asking).

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The move was only a couple of weeks ago and prior to that I lived with my girlfriend and son since prior to his birth. When I say I was very involved that means I was with my son daily. Much of the work I've done since my son was born, was working for my parents doing construction work, and my girlfriend and son would come with me when I worked there, so even in working I saw and interacted with him throughout the day. My relationship with him has been described and one of the closest father son relationships my family has seen .... saw him breifly in court after two weeks and he looked so sad. The only thing I've really not been involved with is Dr visits and only because my girlfriend took care of taking him. I'm just feeling like the courts are giving preference to the mother and she's blocking me with this breastfeeding thing.

As a reply to the other poster, I'm aware of the WHO recommendation, but breastfeeding to age 3 is very uncommon in the US - most who breastfeed don't do so past age one ... and yes my son not only has teeth and talks, but rides a bike!

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Quoting OregonDaddy

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and yes my son not only has teeth and talks, but rides a bike!

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See!!!!! That right there is a problem. RIDES A BIKE?!?!?! Come on now. The child is going to start preschool. The kids are going to bring lunch boxes and this one is going to bring a breast.