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Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order

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  • 05-09-2011, 06:56 PM
    TristianG
    Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kentucky

    Mediation was done in the state of Virginia in 2007 where my Son was born.

    His father and I were never married, we did a visitation order that split our time 50/50 with our Son so that his father would be payed more money from the Army. He said that he would use that money towards an informal child support to help me out. His father now lives in PA and we live in KY.

    He has never really paid any child support. Our child is now four and I pay to have him go to preschool. I have always been the primary care provider for our son, and he has only visited his dad every once in a 3-6 month period (for a week or a bit more at a time). I wanted his father in his life... But it is hurting our Son.

    Every time he comes home from a visit his behavior is so different. He is angry and doesn't know how to express his feelings. A child needs stability and right now I want to ensure that I give this to him. I have to keep paying extra money to hold my Son's slot in preschool when he goes for a visit, and I also pay to drive six hours to drop him off. That is a lot of money that I do not get any help with. I cannot afford to do this and his father tells me that I must not be able to care for my Son well enough because I can't drop a couple hundred for a road trip on top of paying the holding fee for preschool (one hundred, plus the 300 I have to pay monthly).

    PROBLEM IS: I am married now, we have a life and a family that Dylan is a part of. He has a sister now and school and friends. His father wants him to visit again but I have already filed to have our old mediation record renewed in KY so that we can begin custody proceedings. His father likes to intimidate me into giving in. He tells me he will keep our Son if I don't do what he wants. What are my rights? Do I have to continue this visitation at my and my child's expense before official custody is ordered? The mediation is from 2007, we have both since moved and he has never adheared to the actual order.

    HELP! I don't want him to keep my baby. I have always cared for him and I can't bear to hear his dad tell me one day that he isn't letting him come home (he did it last time and I had to fight with him for hours).
  • 05-09-2011, 07:05 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order
    You must go by the most current order until the order is changed.

    If Dad keeps kiddo beyond his court ordered parenting time, you DO have recourse.

    Also, you can always file for an enforceable child support order.
  • 05-09-2011, 08:25 PM
    TristianG
    Re: Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order
    I cannot physically comply with the original mediation agreement. The time was divided by days and not weeks-four days with me and three with him. I cannot do that if we live six hours apart. Thus we have never adhered to the agreement. It was put into place for his own monotary means at the time.
  • 05-09-2011, 08:40 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order
    Why wasn't the order modified before now?

    I understand what you're saying - but it IS a court order, not a suggestion.

    What exactly do you wish to accomplish?
  • 05-10-2011, 07:46 AM
    NdK1009
    Re: Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order
    Does your current order say anything in regards to who has to pick up/drop off your child?
    Normally, it would be dad picks up at the start of the visitation and you would handle transportation at the conclusion. If you can implement an arrangement that requires your ex to cover half of the transportation expenses (assuming it's not otherwise addressed in your court order) then that may relieve some of your stress until you can get your petition for modification heard.
  • 05-10-2011, 11:44 AM
    TristianG
    Re: Seeking Custody After Old Mediation Order
    No monotary value was mentioned in the order, neither does it say anything in regards to transportation. We used to live in the same town so it wasn't a big deal. My Son's father is mentally abusive and manipulating towards me and I just did what he wanted me to do because he always threatened to take my child. The visitation was just a con he devised so the Military would pay him BAH-he said he would give me half of the money to help with our Son... but he never did.
    I never applied for modification before because every time I brought it up he would tell me he would fight me in court and take our Son away from me. I was scared... Now my Son is school age and he needs to stay in school. It is only right that he continues the life we have created here than to uproot him every few weeks.
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