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Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband

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  • 04-26-2011, 11:17 PM
    asdun
    Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Kansas
    My husband's ex is vindictive and will do anything to not let him see his kids. She lives in Kansas and we live in Texas. She filed a protection from stalking order on my husband, who is severely crippled (he suffers a broken spine). He cannot travel to make this hearing. He also cannot harm her (being disabled and two states away). Unfortunately, the court order says he has to appear IN PERSON to dispute her claims. She cannot and has not proven that he is stalking her but she did create a letter saying that it is from him (sent via Myspace). The letter is basically a 'hi, how are you, I'm worried about you...got news...' Nothing threatening at all. And it doesn't contain his name or his picture. My husband doesn't have a myspace account at all. And if he was to send her a letter, he wouldn't be 'worried' about her but more like angry at her for all the abuse she gave him...she killed his cat, kidnapped his kids, filed another restraining order on him years ago and before he was served, she invited him over and then called the police. He spent 3 days in jail before charges were dropped (he wasn't even served and knew nothing of the order!) But now, he's in need of full care and medical attention and she's trying to say he contacted her and it's "creepy" and "inappropriate" and she is "traumatized" by the contact because he abused her in the past. I've been married to him for 14 months and he is not abusive at all! Another thing that surprises me, she showed up to the hearing with a lawyer, and when I looked up the lawyer, it was from a state agency, a pro bono attorney helping out the poor. As if we didn't pay her over a thousand dollars in child support last month! I can't believe an attorney would consent to this unlawful abuse of process and do it for free. Is there a way for a disabled (obviously non-threatening) person to prove her lies without having to travel over 800 miles?
  • 04-26-2011, 11:28 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    Does your husband have any DV charges or convictions?

    And "kidnapping" the kids? Please explain?

    Has your husband asked if he can appear telephonically?
  • 04-27-2011, 05:13 PM
    asdun
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    In answer to your questions: Kidnapping: They were living together and when he came home, she and the kids were gone as well as 2000.00 dollars of his computer equipment and he was served with a restraining order. He had no idea what was coming. She robbed him and took the kids across state alledging violence and then filed for custody in Kansas. She won full custody. After the custody trial, she got all nice to him and let him see his kids. One day, he came over and there were bruises on his daughters face. (she was three years old). The ex couldn't tell him where she got the bruises. Then the ex mother in law showed up with the police and both the ex and the ex mother in law told the police he hit his daughter. With two witnesses and evidence, he was convicted of child abuse. Nevermind all the other crap and harrassment they had pulled on him in the past. So, yes, she kidnapped them and he has a criminal conviction. The court doesn't give him an option to appear telephonically.
    But, there was some justice in the case. The SRS blamed the ex and took the kids and placed them in foster care and sued the ex for child support. The kids were not returned for an entire year. What goes around comes around. THAT was justice!
  • 04-27-2011, 05:20 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    So no kidnapping took place.

    (In the legal sense).

    Your husband can hire an attorney in Kansas to appear on his behalf, otherwise Mom is likely to get whatever she asks for.

    The kids are back with Mom, yes?
  • 04-27-2011, 07:56 PM
    asdun
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    Taking the kids out of the state without parental consent is kidnapping. But she did it legally with the help of a restraining order. Kids are back with the mother. I'm having trouble finding an attorney to appear on his behalf. If I send the court documentation of his medical disability with all the verbally abusive letters she sent him along with proof that the myspace account she says he messaged her from is fictional, do you think the judge will look at it? It's actual proof that a reasonable person will not see him as the villain.
  • 04-27-2011, 08:16 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    Quote:

    Quoting asdun
    View Post
    Taking the kids out of the state without parental consent is kidnapping. But she did it legally with the help of a restraining order. Kids are back with the mother. I'm having trouble finding an attorney to appear on his behalf. If I send the court documentation of his medical disability with all the verbally abusive letters she sent him along with proof that the myspace account she says he messaged her from is fictional, do you think the judge will look at it? It's actual proof that a reasonable person will not see him as the villain.


    Sigh..no, it's really not.

    If your husband was married to his ex, without a court order NOTHING legally prevented EITHER of them from taking the kids out of State. It would NOT be considered kidnapping. And if they weren't married, Mom was free to do what she wished unless there was a custody order in place. Hence no kidnapping. Are we now clear on that? Good :)


    Let's move on.

    You can't file anything on your husband's behalf; it's got to be him or an attorney. Also, documents like that can't just be sent to a judge - that's an ex parte communication, and isn't allowed. Your husband (not you) needs to respond in the correct format and manner in order to be accepted by the court.

    THIS is why your husband needs an attorney.

    I understand your frustration, but really the best (only) thing you can do here is help your husband do whatever it takes to find an attorney.

    Out of interest, what kind of visitation does he have with the kids?
  • 04-27-2011, 08:26 PM
    asdun
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    He gets 2 hours a week through "Safe Visits." But now, he's not allowed contact.
  • 04-27-2011, 08:29 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    Quote:

    Quoting asdun
    View Post
    He gets 2 hours a week through "Safe Visits." But now, he's not allowed contact.



    Asdun, I honestly don't see that there's anything your husband can do here - he either turns up in court, or he hires an attorney to do so on his behalf.

    While it's possible to request that he can appear telephonically given his disability, you've already ruled that out.
  • 05-21-2011, 10:42 AM
    asdun
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    I called the court clerk and they said that my husband can send a letter explaining his situation and that it will be read by the judge. They absolutely do not do teleconference. We not only sent in the letter, but we sent copies of medical records, character references, letters from his ex (showing all kinds of verbal abuse), and screen shots showing that he doesn't have a MySpace account and that she had attempted to hack into his email two years ago. In spite of everything, the Shawnee County judge signed the order. Now, we are living in fear that she, as hateful as she is, will attempt to show that he's contacting her.
  • 05-21-2011, 10:46 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Frivolous Restraining Order Against My Disabled Husband
    You and your husband think of it as "justice" that his kids spent a year in foster care?
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