Ex Moving Out of State - Wants Summer Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania


My ex-husband is planning to move from Pennsylvania to Colorado in June. He has expressed a desire to have our 4 year old son come stay with him "for the summer" each year. Currently, my son stays with him Sunday evenings thru Tuesdays per our divorce decree.
Additionally, I've allowed him to have some Saturdays based on his request.

He does not pay child support, however he pays roughly 1/3 of his preschool tuition. Per our divorce decree, he is responsible for covering our son's healthcare, which was included in his family group health insurance with no out of pocket cost to him. This past month he was administratively terminated from his job due to being on a medical leave of absence for over a year, so he lost his coverage (he is receiving disability payments and his other 2 children are now being covered on CHIP). I added my son to my medical plan earlier this month and we have agreed he will cover the monthly cost. I did receive the first payment from him for this.

My issues are that I do not feel comfortable with my son being away from home for the entire summer with his father on the other side of the country. Initially I told him that maybe 6 weeks would be okay before I had an opportunity to think it over, but now I'm reconsidering it as I worry about him being so far away for so long, but I am not sure what really IS a reasonable amount of time. I also believe I should have child support ordered, since my expenses will no doubt be higher since he will not be spending time at his father's regularly. I also would like for my ex to be responsible for covering the costs associated with my son's travel to and from Colorado, and also want to ensure that under no circumstances should my son be on a plane without his father present.

I am at somewhat of a loss on how to handle this as I've never really had to navigate the court system before. Do I need to hire an attorney or can I do this on my own?

An attorney is a good idea, if only because he/she can speak on your behalf if things get too emotionally charged. As for the rest of what you are asking - CS, and he covers all transportation costs - that seems fairly reasonable. Many courts will grant that request. As for the visitation plan, when long distance is involved, I have usually seen alternating holidays (split x-mas) and the NCP getting the vast majority of the summer. I was able to negotiate a 9/3 split with my ex so that I could have about a week's worth of vacation in the summer, and two weeks prior to school starting to prep for that.

I'd recommend at least consulting with a lawyer and/or attempting to negotiate with your ex. Although many exes refuse to negotiate when the burden of transportation costs falls to them and CS is added, which is why an attorney is a really good idea; I have a feeling your situation may get highly adversarial.

The only thing I would add to NdK's excellent post would be that at some point, Dad will likely be able to insist on kiddo flying as UA (unaccompanied minor).

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My issues are that I do not feel comfortable with my son being away from home for the entire summer with his father on the other side of the country. Initially I told him that maybe 6 weeks would be okay before I had an opportunity to think it over, but now I'm reconsidering it as I worry about him being so far away for so long, but I am not sure what really IS a reasonable amount of time.

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Specifically worry about WHAT? What is ok at 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 6 weeks that changes to maybe not ok at 7 weeks, 8 weeks, or longer?

(Not asking in the spirit of being difficult, but the judge is going to want to have at least SOME idea of why there's a difference between a couple of days and a longer period of time. Courts tend to look at parents as either capable caretakers, or not, and the time frame doesn't factor in.)

Thanks to everyone for their replies so far. To Catherine, Currently my son goes to see his dad every week, but he lives ~ a mile from my home so it is very accessible if there is an emergency (this has happened twice in the two years we've been divorced - one because he and his new wife were arguing, and the other because neither he nor his wife were feeling well enough to drive him to school one morning, approx 5-6 city blocks away from their home) His father has been diagnosed as having anxiety and has physical impairments as well. My son normally cries every weekend that he wants to stay at my house and doesn't want to go to his dad's, and tells his dad that he misses me and wants to go home after being there. Honestly when you put it that way, it makes me question whether or not I'm okay with him going at all.

The thing is, this isn't going to be your decision.

Dad WILL be able to take his son for long periods at a time - even out of state.

Is your son in counseling for the anxiety?

My son doesn't have anxiety - his father does. And to my knowledge he is not in counseling.

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Quoting acb621

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My son doesn't have anxiety - his father does. And to my knowledge he is not in counseling.

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You son has anxiety as well based on your previous post.

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Quoting acb621

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My son normally cries every weekend that he wants to stay at my house and doesn't want to go to his dad's, and tells his dad that he misses me and wants to go home after being there.

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Not necessarily a clinical anxiety, my wording may have implied something that's not there. I did take him to counseling last summer when this issue started and was told that he was developmentally doing well. He cries that he doesn't want to go to his dads because he will miss me, etc., but after I pick him up, he is happy and always tells me he had a good time while he was there. He's basically a happy kid, but is very much a momma's boy (he is only 4) for lack of a better term.

Maybe he needs to spend more time with Dad...